The Trials and Tribulations of a so-called Trouble Teen

Chapter 7 - I'm Only Dreaming

Where am I? This isn't home.

G: [opens door] Buen día.

E: [sleepy] Buen día papá.

G: How is my little darling doing today?

E: [groans] What time is it?

G: It's just gone 10 to 8. You have a late start today so I thought we could go to a cafe for some breakfast. How would you like that?

E: Seems okay.

G: [opening curtains] Did you have a good sleep?

E: Yeah... ¿Papá?

G: Yes darling?

E: [stimming] Can we go thrifting one day?

G: We can do whatever you want. Now, I want you to get out of bed, get ready and meet me downstairs in about 20 minutes, okay?

E: Bueno, bet I can make it 15.

G: I'll be timing you. [ruffles hair then leaves]

I don't have much to do - brush hair, brush teeth, skin care, dress, shoes, go. I think I could be down in 10. That'll be fun.

My dad seems so much happier this morning, and that makes me happy. A lot of the time, outsiders often comment how similar we are to one another and I can see it. As someone on the spectrum, I often analysed (and still do) the room and those around me and would mimic their actions to be "normal". With the considerable amount of time I spent around my dad and with my dad, it's no susprise how much I look up to him and how I sort of idolise him. Of course you would expect to look up to your parent or guardian, but obviously that is not the case for everyone and I wish I could make it so that everyone has good, loving parents who care for them in the proper way they deserve.

According to my sister, the day my mother left us, my dad went to my crib the second he realised she was gone, picked me up, and just cuddled me for the rest of the day. He refused to let go of me because he was really upset at the whole ordeal. Even to this day, there will be times my dad just doesn't want to let me go because he's terrified of losing me, the same goes for Val. With every passing day, the memories replay in my dad's head and sometimes he can't handle it. Just 2 months ago, he came into my room during the early hours of the mroning and hugged me for about 4 minutes, muttering "Please never leave me the way she did". Poor thing had a dream that I walked up and left the same way my mother did, and he was so emotionally distressed from it. I haven't really had the chance to sit down and talk to him about it, but one day I will. I want to know how he feels, what way it's affected him and what we could possibly do to try and find her again. Maybe one day we'll know the whereabouts of my mother and why she left us, just maybe.

E: [comes downstairs]

G: Are you ready?

E: Yeah.

G: This parcel just came for you [gives]

E: I don't remember ordering anything. [opens] Hey, it's my records!

G: What records did you get?

E: Closer to the Truth by Cher and From Under The Cork Tree by Fall Out Boy. [puts on piano] I'll sort those later.

G: Have you ever thought about getting a job in a record shop?

E: No, I haven't. [looks at floor]

G: What's wrong my darling?

E: Nothing's wrong.

G: Evin, look at me.

E: [looks up]