Christmas was drawing nearer and nearer, I had been spending a lot of time in the room of requirement with Reg and the rest of the time with my friends. Sirius's silence was hurting me less and less by the day, I was sort of used to it and I knew he wouldn't hold a grudge forever.
While Sirius's was off, probably with one of the many girls that wanted a hook up (the Christmas cards he got from them were hilarious.) I took it as an opportunity to see the boys. "Hey." I smiled and sat next to James, they were all in the common room. All three. Strange saying that.
"Y/n!" James smiled, he was playing wizard chess with Remus and seemed to be losing sorely. "I've already beat Pete but Remus is thrashing me."
"Chess just isn't my area of expertise alright?" Peter crossed his arms, he didn't like to lose.
"I'll play the winner." I smiled.
"It feels like ages since you've been in the common room." Remus smiled as his knight obliterated James's bishop and James tried to not look too frustrated. "Sirius misses you you know."
"Then he can bloody well tell me himself. I'm not getting you guys involved and I'm not making a drama out of it." I shrugged, I missed Sirius so badly but it wasn't my job to chase him.
"Queen to B6... Ha I win!" Remus grinned triumphantly.
James was always a fair player, he won and lost gracefully, his second house was certainly Hufflepuff. "Well done moony, go on Y/n avenge me!" He said dramatically and pretended to faint back onto the sofa, crushing me on his way down.
"Missed you." Remus told me as he set up the pieces. I smiled a little, I hadn't seen the boys as much lately which was a shame but that's what happens when two people in a friend group argue.
"Missed you lot too. It has to be different by Christmas surely? How long can this be carried out? Knight to C3." I could talk and play chess, but against Remus I had to concentrate more because that boy was clever.
"Yeah of course, it's clear he's getting bored of being moody." James nodded.
"If you did my brother I'd be moody too." Peter shrugged
"Cheers Pete." I said sarcastically.
Remus looked at the board then made his decision "queen to C3." He grinned.
"Bastard! The game has barely started!' I exclaimed and he laughed.
"Keep your focus Y/n no daydreaming about Reggie." James teased and I pushed him playfully.
"You may have lost because you were daydreaming about Lily, but not everyone is so away with the fairies." I retorted with a smirk.
"Ooh touchê." James laughed and I made my move. I had missed seeing the marauders but without Sirius there it just felt strange and incomplete.
.・✫・゜・。..・✫・゜・。.
It was a late night in the common room and I was completely alone reading a book for Care of Magical Creatures in the amber glow of the fireplace. It was quite nice like this, I liked either really late nights or really early mornings because just for a couple of hours it felt like I was the only person in the world. Any more would be lonely but it was just enough to be peaceful.
And while I'm having my peaceful moment, who comes in the door? Sirius of course. The portrait hole swung open and Sirius walked through, his robes all messy but of course his hair wasn't. I didn't say anything, it was his turn to speak. "Oh- y/n. Thought you'd be asleep." He said awkwardly.
"Yeah well I'm not." I shrugged, that was the most we had said to each other in weeks.
"Right." He cleared his throat "Well... I'll just be-"
"Sirius why do we have to be like this? It's dreadful." I sighed, I just wanted my friend back.
Sirius was silent for a second "Do you love him?" He asked quietly.
"Sirius please you're my best friend. I know how wrong I am and I've apologised so many times not a day passes where I don't feel bad-"
"Do you love him?" He asked me again, his face stony and cold much like Reg's when we first met although of course he wouldn't like to be told that.
"I do." I sighed. "That's why it's so hard. I love you too though I don't want to fight I just wish you'd understand."
"Then you know why I can't bring myself to talk to you. Five years of friendship and you date my brother, after everything." He didn't look as angry anymore just genuinely upset.
"There's still hope for him, he's changing. Look I know I'm shit and terrible and all that but please Sirius I don't know what I can do. You're being so stubborn." I was holding back tears now, one of my best friends telling me what a shit person I was. "You don't know what it's like to love someone when you can't, when the world forbids it. It's really not easy."
"Oh y/n shut up. Don't tell me what I do and do not know." He snapped. "You've made your choice clearly." Sirius said and turned to walk upstairs.
"Sirius wait!" I called but he was already gone. Never in all these years had he spoken to me like that and it felt like a knife in the chest. After saying a quick goodnight to the boys in the common room, I walked upstairs and just got in to bed, pulling the covers over my head wishing all my problems would just go away just for a minute.
YOU ARE READING
Cigarette Daydreams - Regulus Black X Reader
Fanfiction"He was my soulmate, I knew that now. Even if we weren't meant to be together there was no way my life would be worth it without him. I just wanted him to hurry up and get out of there so we could be together. It was his move, I just needed him to n...
