Dirty Little Secret

Facts and Fiction

Nicolas' POV

   The run to the lake a few miles away feels good in the evening air, but all Benny and I can think about is the family standing in the middle of the garage.

   Just like mine but so different.

   Mom and Dad. Sister and Brother.

   I couldn't tell if I liked any of them, and I probably don't even have enough information on us. They kidnapped me and Jace, tied our Mate up, and they could be lying.

   My brain feels stuffed, and my anxiety has my hands shaking, my head too all over the place to even decide how I feel about knowing that the people that I grew up calling mom and dad, aren't even apart of my family.

   A part of me wishes that this was all some weird dream and that I will wake up at any moment in the car on the way home from Jace and I's date.

   But a small part of me, almost impossible to see, hope that they're right. Even though it would destroy our family, and that Jace and Clary would be stuck there, it would let me finally be with Jace. I could tell my friend about him, brag about him, and kiss him in public without problems. And I want that.

   'I'm so confused.' I tell Benny as we finally come to s stop in the clearing, slowly making our way to our favorite spot to relax.

    'I don't know what to feel.' Benny tells me, and I don't answer as I feel my bones strink and contract until I'm standing on my own two feet again, watching wolves melt away to reveal Jace and Clarissa. The three of us settle on a group of rocks to the east of the large lake, and Clary glances at us a few times on the silence before finally giving up.

   "Can someone please start talking and explain to me why the two of you look like you won the lottery as your best friend died?" She asks agitated, and it makes me smile sadly.

   Clary's always been impatient ever since we were kids, her tantrums a daily occurrence at home when I was little, especially when I got all the attention. She looks at me now with curiosity and worry, and thankfully, Jace begins telling Clary all we know.

    Once we tell her about what happened after we got taken from the outdoor mall all the way up to getting home, Clary just sits there in front of us, her face holding a million different emotions, all of them unreadable.

   Finally after what seems like years she speaks up, the night wind blowing in the air making me shiver a little, Jace throwing an arm around me to keep me close. "This is a good thing right? You're not brothers, you're just Mates." She says, happily, as if our situation was just as stressful to her as it was to us, and maybe it was. The thought warms my heart as I think about all that my friends have done for me.

    'They might not be a ur real family, but Clary is our sister always.' Benny declares and it makes me feel better as she continues as thoughts.

     "And you said they have proof? Pictures? Even a birth certificate? And we're supposed to believe it's Nick?" She asks and Jace motions towards my hands, and I look down to see the picture back in them though I don't remember taking it out. I reach it out to Jace and let him see it, though his eyes seem to go right through them, not seeing the baby at all.

   "Clary I remember some bits and pieces of when I was little. Only snap shots. But I remember being excited but seeing mom and dad cry for days. In the end we would all be crying. And I remember her belly was gone and she wouldn't tell me why. But then one day they came home from Nicky and we all just.... stopped crying. I remember." Jace's voice is soft but it hold on me is steady and firm as he gives Clary the picture he's holding.

    She smiles and looks up at us, almost as if confused. "This is so cute. Where'd you find this picture of Nicky?" She asks, and the world seems to shake.

    It's as if her words sealed it.

    Confirmed everything.

    Every lie our parents.... their parents ever told us. It all seems to come crashing down on my shoulders and I slump into Jace, who doesn't hesitate to shift his weight to support me as he clears his throat.

    "From Sara." Is all he says, and it's as if the world goes silent as I wearily watch Clary's face.

   It starts on shock, but my anxiety rises as she turns white, her own stress written across her brow. "Holy shit, Jace." She says, but that's it, the world around us falling silent again.

    It feels like there's a mountain of things around us that we should address but just thinking about it makes the weight on my shoulders feel denser. Heavier.

    "So what do we do now?" Clary asks, for once sounding just as small and scared as I feel.

   And then Jace says the words I never thought I would hear, the sound of them shaking me more than anything else I've heard these past few weeks.
 
    "I don't know, guys. I'm lost."

~~~~~~~~~
Damn this sure it getting crazy. I love all of my books now theyre my sweet babies. I hope you all are slowly falling back in love with them.

Thoughts?

Comments?

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