Dirty Little Secret

Jealousy and Smiles

Jason's POV

      'We're supposed to be happy about this.' Ryan tells me, and it only makes my frown deeper as I watch Nick walk around his room, packing up his favorite clothes, books and moments into boxes and suitcases.

   After being in the hospital for a few days, Sara and her family sat down with Nick, Clary and I and told us our options.

    She said that Nick could come live with them, Clary too if she wanted, while I get my own place, or Clary and Nick could decide if they wanted to live with me. Clary said that she wanted to come live with me, claiming that if I was left alone, I wouldn't survive a week. But I think she's taking what happened to our family the hardest. Even though Nick and I dealt with a lot of shit, we also benefited from our family falling apart.

   To Clary, she loft everything because of selfish parents and a bad since a humor on the Goddess' part. I'm all she has left from the life she thought she had. It's just us now, a family of five, down to two.

   Nick, apparently having it in for my heart and ego, decided that he wants to go live with his birth family. He said that sixteen years was already long enough to not get a chance at being a family. And I get it.

    It's just up to now, I was all the family he needed.

    Nick looks up at me from his desk, and I give him a strained smile as I finally enter his room, and he walks towards me with wide doe eyes and pink lips that make my heart flutter.

   He reaches me, and buries his head in my chest, almost making me laugh, knowing that this is how he asks for things he wants, too scared to look me in the eye and do it. His arms wrap around my torso, and I stroke his head until he speaks up. "Can I bring your blanket?"

   I frown in confusion, about to object his attempt at stealing my favorite blanket, but Ryan nudges at me, making me ask why instead.

     His arms around me grip me tighter, as if embarrassed, and he stays silent, and I let it stretch on, content to hold him until he's gathered up his own courage. "I've never been away from you unless it was bad. Maybe having your blanket and scent with me will help me feel safe." He tells me softly, and dammit if my eyes didn't water, and I hold him closer to me with a sigh before pulling back with a fake exasperated look.

    "Fine. That's a good enough reason." I say with a shrug as if no big deal, but my spine tingles and my heart warms as the excited squeal he lets out before hugging me tighter.

   I softly pull his head away from my chest and look into his hazel eyes, the emotion in them making me choke up. And the words just spill out. As if they were almost meant to be here, in this moment.

      "I love you."

     Before he has a chance to answer, my lips are on his, feeling every word he wishes he could say, his hands gripping my shoulders tightly as he stands on his tippy toes, tears staining my cheeks from his, and I kiss his lips before kissing away the evidence of my confession. When I pull away, I realize the tears aren't just his, and I laugh to myself quietly sniffling before I wipe Nickys face, his soft cheeks set aflame.

    "I love you too." He tells me and my heart doubles in size, filling just with those words over and over again, tears springing to my eyes again.

    "Fuck." I say before wiping my eyes, laughing at myself as I shake my head. I lean forward and kiss Nicks forehead before letting him go, leading him back towards his desk. "So what do you need help with, Runt?" I ask him, even as a piece of me hates myself for doing so, but the hopeful smile that presses against his lips makes it worth it.

   I go to start putting away his favorite books, knowing when he can't sleep, he'll stay up into the darkest night escaping away into world unknown. But before I can take a step, his hand is on mine, lip caught between his teeth, the look sending shivers and arousal down my spine, but I try to ignore the way his lips look, and focus instead on what they're saying.

    "Living with you is awesome, and I love being around you all the time. But since we thought we were brothers, I never got to have the first date butterflies as I wait for you to pick me up. I don't have the feeling of missing you and the joy of seeing you again. It's not just my family that I missed out on. I missed out on a lot with you too. We have forever together, I just want to make sure I don't miss a thing." His quiet soft words make the stupid tears spill over, Ryan a swooning sobbing mess for our Runt, and for the both of us, I crush him to my chest, my chest shaking as my love from him tries to reach his beautiful heart.

    I pull away from him and place a tender loving kiss along his cheek, the words gone from my mind, but his eyes shine in understanding.

   My little runt.

   All this time, you were strong all along. And now you finally see it.

   An hour later, we're parked outside of his family's home, hands fluttering silently in his lap, but I still his hands with my own, and give him a smile.

    "Just be yourself." I tell him and I see his shoulders relax a little bit before we get out of the car, leaving the suitcases and bags for later on. We reach the door and I look down at Nick, my entire heart and soul, resting in his palms, and I can't help but smile. "Ready?"

    "With you? Always."

~~~~~~~~~~~
Such a sweet little chapter. Guys things really are coming to a close, can you believe it?!

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Comments?

QOTD: What would you dream house look like?