Dirty Little Secret

Shyness and Apologies

Nicks POV

The tears falling down my face don't stop as I cry, my sobs shaking my body a little as I wish I was born anything but a small Omega with a weak wolf that can't even love me.

If my wolf and my Mate can't love me, who can?

My lip wobbles and I try to wipe my tears along my face, knowing that I'm only making myself looks even more pathetic than I already looked, my sleeves now covered in traces of pain and regret.

"I'm sorry. I'll leave you alone, now." I tell him, going to stand up and go back home, knowing that even if I get lost a little bit, I'll make it.

I stumble off of the big rock that I'm on but as soon as my feet touch the ground, hands are picking my small body up to put me back on the boulder. I look up in confusion to see conflicted brown eyes in front of me, the night time making them look almost as dark are Ryan's. His eyes study mine, his gaze holing nothing judging, only pain and confusion as he stares at me making me frown to myself in the same confusion.

"Why... why do you even want to be with me? You've seen what I can do. You've seen the kind of pain I can cause, you don't even know the half of it." He tells me, his eyes holding more and more torture in them as he stares me down. "All I've done all week is hurt you. And yet you want me to be able to be with you, knowing that this will be the first, but not the only time?"

I shake my head, hoping that he'll listen this time, trying to bring him back down the memories and fear swimming in his head, my anxiety fluttering my heart as I look at him.

"You haven't hurt me my whole life. All you've done to keep me save, even from our own family who won't leave me alone. You protect me at school at home and even from my wolf and myself. The only time you've hurt me is now because you don't want me." I tell him honestly, needing him to know that he's the only person who hasn't hurt me.

"But you're my brother." He tells me weakly, dark eyes peering up at mine and I bite my lip, words wanting to spill out of them and I let them, hoping that I won't regret it.

"But it makes sense." I whisper, avoiding his eyes as the words hit the air and land softly in his hand alongside my heart that rhinos softly, soon to be in tune with his own as long as I don't mess it up. "The way you always protected me. The way only you made me feel safe. How it was always us against the world. Did you feel it? Do you remember?"

I bite my lip as I listen to myself yall, knowing that I'm going putting at lot at risk.

Jason lowers his head and hides away his face from me, and my own falls in devastation knowing that this was my only chance to get him to give me a try even if I'm not the one rhat he dreamed of when he thought of finally finding his Mate after all this time.

I go to apologize, but as soon as I open my light, it's not my words that fall into the open. "I realized..... I realized yesterday that whenever I thought about who I wanted my Mate to be, I was always describing you. In a way... in a way I could always feel it. That need to be around you, to protect you, getting annoyed when others tried to be overbearing towards you, but it's also so... wrong. Nick we're brothers. We can't just ignore that." He stressed, his hands coming up into his hair and I nod silently, unable to speak through the pain in my throat, stealing my voice away, but when I go to leave again, he speaks back up. "And yet.... that's all I want to do. I want to say fuck it and grab you and hold you so that's we won't hurt anymore. And it's wrong, I know it's wrong."

My heart flutters in hope at the words and I watch as he raises his head, eyes tired and body drained. His hand reaches out to grab one of my own, playing with my fingers softly as he looks down at them.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry you got stuck with me as your Mate. I'm sorry that I let you think it was your fault. I'm sorry I forgot to protect you from myself. I'm sorry that I broke my promise to make sure your Mate was perfect for you." He tells me, his voice a prayer as he talks. "But maybe, if you'll let me, maybe I can slowly try to make it up to you. Maybe we can one day make it work."

My eyes fill with tears again, though this time happy, and my cheeks fill with a blush as I let out an almost silent breath of relief.

"Okay." I whisper, suddenly shy in front of Jason and he looks up at me through dark lashes and gives me a weak version of my favorite crooked grin.

"Okay." He says with a nod before he looks up at the dark sky. "You ready to go home?" He asks me after a few seconds and I shake my head.

"Can we just sit here." I ask him hesitantly. He nods his head with a smile.

"Of course." He says and the two of us sit in silence and relish in the feeling of the moon as we sit and soak in the promise of tomorrow.

~~~~~~~~~~~
Look at that guys progress and confessions. damn that's a good title I should have chosen that.

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