Dirty Little Secret

Anxiety and Feelings

Nicolas' POV

   I walk upstairs with shaking legs, Jace's hand on the small of my back the only thing keeping me from freaking out.

   'It's okay, Nicky. We're almost to his room.' Benny encourages me and it gives me the strength and support I need to make it into Jason's room where Clary is, pacing worriedly when we enter.

    As soon as the door shuts, she's on us, hands on her hips as she frowns at us in turn. "That was intense. Is anyone else getting a bad feelings about this?" She asks quietly, worry laced in her words as she looks off to the side, thoughts emerging and distracting her for a second.

     Jace takes the brief pause to turn my body towards him, his hands holding my face close to his as he leans forward and placed a delicate kiss on my head. He leans back to look into my eyes again before a soft smile finds his lips, a genuine one that isn't coupled with a smirk, but a true sweet smile. "I don't know whether I should laugh or cry." He tells me, pushing my hair back from my face before pressing a kiss to my forehead.

     I never thought about it before, but it must have been so stressful, thinking about what to do and where we could so that we could be happy. I didn't even let myself think about the idea of pups.

    But now.

    But now, Jace isn't my brother, he's my boyfriend. The future forever love of my life.

    Mate.

    "Alright guys I know you just got a whole lot of information but we have shit we need to do." Clary's voice is like a dose of cold water, and my cheeks run red as I cover my face, embarrassed that she saw us like that. "Oh calm down, I sat beside you as a you guys trying to Mate right in front of me. Twice." She says and I blush harder groaning.

   Jace chuckles and rubs my head. "Leave him alone, Clair Bear." He says and she huffs but listens, instead going to herd us out of the room.

    The three of us go downstairs, being sure not to stop to talk to our parents, before we reached the basement door at the side of the stairs. Jace opens the door, and Clary and I head down, flicking on the light. Jace joins us once we reach the bottom, and I walk towards the back closet that has all of our kid stuff in it.

    I stop about three feet away and gulp, my feet not being able to move any further.

    'Are we sure we want to do this? Do we really want to know if what they said is true?' I ask Benny, my anxiety crawling up my throat and squeezing, nerves making me want to run away with my tail tucked underneath.

    'If those people were right, then Shannon and Logan need to be punished. If the people are wrong, they need to know so they don't have false hope.' He tells me softly, his voice sounding more steady than before thought still not that confident. I bite my lip, wanting to say no, but I agree timidly, knowing that it's the best thing to do.

   I walk towards the closet as Jace and Clary grab a few bins and boxes, taking them to the set of couches in the middle of the room. I grab one last container that's on the lowest shelf and bring it back to the others.

   "What are we looking for?" Clary asks and I turn to Jace, wondering the same thing myself.

    "Clary you look through the photo albums and look for hospital pictures and any that are younger than six months old. Nick you go through the bins that have all our medical bracelets and birth certificates I want to see what it says. I'm going to look for medical records." He says and we all nod before zoning out into our own worlds.

   I cross my legs together before opening the bin in my lap, but before I can look through it, Clary calls to me and Jace's attention, and I set the bin down and slide closer to her as she points to a picture in the Photo album.

    It's the three of us sitting in the park swing, Clary on the left, her arms up in the air with a big smile on her face, me in the middle with a timid curve of my lips barely visible by the camera, and Jace leaning back, his arm behind my shoulders as he looks down at me.

    My eyes shyly take a peak at him as he comes up beside me and looks down at the picture of us. His lips raises up as he studies us before he losing the curve of his lips and he sighs.

    "That was right after my sixteenth birthday and I kept wondering why I thought you smelled you when the wind threw your scent in my face. God I'm so stupid." He says with a chuckle and I roll my eyes, softly pushing him playfully with a smile.

      "I was just your baby brother. Not even fourteen. You couldn't have known, silly." I tell him with a nervous giggle, and Clary gags lightly though a soft smile is in her face as she secretly watches us.

     "Really? Because I think I always have." He says, leaning in to steal a kiss and give a wink before returning to his seat.

   With a burning neck and cheeks I go back to my spot and place the bin back in my lap, in search of my certificate.

~~~~~~~~~~
Jace is so hot i don't care. Ares can join and we'll call it a party. But ugh this book is getting so good, but it's about to get even better.

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