Dirty Little Secret

Indescion and Fear

Jason's POV

   My hand rubs up and down on Nick's back softly on autopilot just like the rest of my body. My mind is so destroyed to wvej function on my own.

    My Mate.

    Is Nick.

    My omega sixteen year old baby brother.

    'I can't think.' Ryan mutters, his mind just as empty as mine though I can feel the sam sense of chilling fear spread through my body as I feel
in his mind.

     I can hear Nick telling me something, his lips pressed against my neck, but I can't listen, my body not listening to me at the moment. All I can focus on in how soft he feels in my arms the way my spine shivers at the feeling of his lips on my neck and how... wrong it feels.

    Because I shouldn't want this.

    I shouldn't want more.

     'He's Mate.' Ryan tells me, his voice not as confident as it usually is and I can tell that he's struggling to come terms with it himself. And while his biggest barrier is our ancestral connection and that fact that we're related, I have another thought in my head that in my eyes is so much worse.

     Because I promised Nick that I would make sure that his Mate was someone good for him. Someone that would take care of him and someone that I approved of. Someone that wouldn't hurt him.

     I broke that promise.

     Because even if we weren't brothers I would never wish myself on him.

     My anger, my emotions my violence. It's too much for him to handle. Though he's the only in that I know that doesn't see me as. mister now, that doesn't mean he wants me anywhere near him.

    I could hurt him.

    Hes my brother.

     I shouldn't be here.

     I should have left when I had the chance.

     'Hes Mate.' Ryan growls, his voice stronger and more confident than before but I feel more confused and lost than ever. 'Listen.' He tells me.

    I frown at first until i remember that Nick is speaking to me, his lips soft against my necks dk i struggle to come back into the real world, his words finallt coming into focus.

    "Please don't go. You promised. Don't leave. Stay." His words are jumbled as he mumbles, hot tears splashing against my akin.

    I open my mouth to answer that I won't. That I will stay around and not leave like I promised. And while my mouth shapes the words, mapping them out for the sounds to follow, the promise doesn't come out.

    I can't promise him that I won't walk away in hopes that maybe we can find something normal. Something not so tainted and wrong.

    Because that's what this is. Being Mates to my kid brother is disgusting and wrong. If anyone found out them there will be hell
on this family and both of us, something that he can't handle. It would wreck him, me and everyone we love.

     We can't.

     This is wrong.

      "Move." I whisper, my eyes squeezing shut against the pin in my chest, almost gasping at the pain that the thoughts are causing me. My arms feel like lead as I drop them away from Nick, begging him not to make this worse and just move.

    But he clings on to me, his arms wrapping around my neck softly, trying his best to get me to stay, but I can't sit around him anymore, I can't.. If I touch him, I feel sick just thinking about it. I gently pull his arms away from me, trying my hardest to ignore his snuggles and whines of protest, his tears getting louder and he tries to latch on to me.

    I grit my teeth against the pain in my heart and force myself to let him go.

     "Nick let me go." I beg, my jaw tight as I struggle to hold in the sounds of pain and my tears as I pain him away, his arms getting weaker the harder he cries until I sit him down away from me and I stand up, breathing heavy as he curls into himself on the floor.

    'Jason. Mate.' Ryan tries to convince me to go to Nick who's crying harshly his hand holding out to me and I feel myself panic, unable to think straight with so much going on.

    He's my Mate. But he's my brother. I would be a bad match for him. I would hurt him. He's my brother. He's my Mate.

    My head is a whirlwind of a bunch of emotions and while I want to reach across the room and snatch Nick into my hold and tell him that it's okay and that I won't leave him I can't. Because I promised I wouldnt ever lie to him and I can't tell right now what's a truth and what's a lie.

    I don't know what's going to happen.

    And I need to get away.

    I go to walk away towards the doors my own breath unable to get stable and as my hand touches the knob, my ears are barely able to pick up on the whispered son form across the room that cuts my heart apart.

     "Come back." He tells me and I grin the knob before turning away from him once more, shaking my own whisper that I hope he hears.

    "I will." I tell him before I walk out of his room and shut the door behind me, wasting no time in running away as fast as I can.

~~~~~~~~~~
How was this? Did i do a good job with describing how hard it would be to realize that you're tiene is your Mate? What do you think will happen next?

Thoughts?

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