Dirty Little Secret

Midnight and Talks

Jason's POV

    I lay down on the couch, looking up at the ceiling, my kind blank.

    There's nothing to do. 

     Nothing to think.

    Nothing to fight for.

    I promised him, that no matter who he picked, I would support it. I would have happy. I wouldn't be angry or try to change it.

    I promised him that I wouldn't take him away from a choice that he made himself.

    And now I have to hold that promise. It feels like it's killing me already.

    I sigh to myself as I twist over on the couch to face away from our room, his room now. Just as I go to move again, unable to sit still in my sorrow and Ryan's silence, I hear the door open form the other side of the room.

   I sit up in the darkness and recognize Luis's form as he always out of his room.

    "Hey." I call out and he doesn't even sound surprise when he comes over to the couch and sits on the cushions beaide me. He doesn't say anything for a little while, the two of us just sitting there until he finally opens his mouth.

     "I can feel your emotions through the wall." He tells me and I sigh, though I don't know how to control it.

    "Wolves are emotional creatures." I answer him, my voice sounding weak and hoarse to my own ears.

     "That is true. But you and Nick, you two... there's some sort of connection between the two of you that's so different. I don't get it." He tries to tell me.

    "Yeah, well we see how well that connection actually held up." I say, trying not to sound bitter but failing miserably.

     "So he changed his mind. What are you going to do about it?" Luis asks me and I scoff and turn to lay back dom on the couch, ignoring his large presence beside me. I don't say anything for a moment before I finally answer.

     "There's nothing I can do. But play the role I was born to play. Literally." I tell him and he doesn't answer.

     Instead he placed his hand on my leg and sighs. "You're one stubborn bastard. You can't let this happen. The two of you were made for each other, more so than once. You're just going to let that go?" He asks me, and it makes me growl in anger, not liking that he's trying to make it seem like I don't care.

    Like my heart isn't tearing in my chest and my head isn't filled with such conflicting thoughts I can even make out what they're saying or what to do.

     "I'm not letting shit go Luis. I'm trying to make sure I don't try to tell him what to do and what he wants like everyone else seems to do so carelessly. If I'm not who he wants, then I'm not going to try and force him to be with me. I know how to pick my fights without hurting the one I love. Maybe you should pick up a few lessons." I snap at him.

    Somewhere inside of me, I know that I shouldn't have said that. But I don't care.

    It doesn't matter, nothing does anymore.

    I wait for Luis' hand to burn through my clothes and torch my skin, but his hand stays normal temperature. He pats his hand on my leg softly before he stands up and loams in front of me for a few second.

     "You're lucky I already knew how much of an asshole you are when you're not happy." He tells me before he goes to walk towards the door.

     "Sorry." I mutter out into the darkness.

     "Yeah yeah. I know." He says and I hear  the door click as he walks in the hallway, and I turn on my back and stretch my legs out to the other side of the couch, trying to strain my ears to hear anything beyond the wall. But I know I won't. It was made for the purpose of silence.

       I've always been the person to be pessimistic. Good things don't just come, good luck doesn't exist and love is a concept that takes two people to keep it alive, if it's truly real.

     And yet somehow through the course of me getting to know Nick has my Mate and not as my brother, that has changed. And I found myself forgetting who I am. Forgetting that good things don't last for me and my true role in this family. Protect, love and keep it moving.

     Except for once, I wasn't treated like an infection, or someone that was only a menace to society.

     I was treated like a person, like I mattered, like the every day things that I did were important. I forgot myself. I forgot my place.

     And it ended up with me in love, all by myself.

~~~~~~~~~~~
Stan is kicking my ass, but i call this progress. I haven't been able for like a week so i call these past few days a win.

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QOTD: What's your thoughts on break ups?