Dirty Little Secret

Shyness and Whimpers

Nicolas' POV

I struggle to pull my shirt over my head, almost getting caught in the sleeve hole as I do and I can feel my face heat up, again, for the fifth time today and it's only seven thirty.

'It's not gonna be a good day, is it?" My wolf, Benny, whimpers in my mind and his anxiety only feeds into my own. Being an omega is hard and tiring, all the panic attacks and the overthink gives me headaches and dizziness from thinking too much and too fast.

I place myself on the bed as I answer my wolf that doesn't seem to be having a good day. Which means I'll have to take care of the both of us today.

Which is just as hard as it sounds.

'Maybe it won't be so bad.' I offer, trying my best not to be as pessimistic as my wolf but the disbelief that flows from him is only dragging me down with him. Just as I think about giving up for the day and staying home, there's a knock on the door.

"Come in." I say, voice softer than what I was going for, but the person hears it nonetheless as the door gets pushed open.

My mother steps in with a worried smile and a creased brow before he closes the door behind her. I watch with curious eyes as she walks over to me and sits down beside me on the bed before turning towards me.

"Has your brother been bullying you?" She asks and I huff silently in annoyance. As much as Jace has done stupid stuff and gotten in trouble, hes never bothered me, though no one ever listens to me when I say that.

"No, Mom, he's not mean." I tell her and she looks at me.

"Clary is getting worried. She says he's always rude and inconsiderate of you being an omega. If he's being an asshole, we will talk to him, Nicky. We just don't want him to hurt you.." She says and I want to scream at her, but I know that she's trying to look out for me.

Jason is the only one in the whole world that doesn't treat me like a little baby that could break at any time. He treats me like a normal wolf and not some china doll.

'I think Jason is mean.' Ben says and I huff at him before lecturing him as best I can, knowing that he'll end up crying and the two of us will have a bad day go not talking to each other while needing each other's support.

'You think everyone is mean. And you only call him mean because you like to be babied. I don't.' I tell him and he turns away from me as I try to explain that to our mom.

"Momma, I promise. Jace isn't mean to me. He's mean to Clary but that's because she's mean back." I tell her and she looks at me for a few more moments making me swallow a whimper at being forced to hold her gaze for so longe before she breaks the eye contact with a sigh.

"If you say so, baby. Finish getting ready for school. I told your brother to be ready by eight so he can take you to school." She tells me and I nod my confirmation as she gets off of my bed and begins to make her way towards the door. She opens her mouth to say something else, but a little whimper escapes form my mouth with a push from Benny. She look at me apologetically before she leaves the room and closes the door.

I breath a sigh of relief as soon as she's gone and throw myself on to the bed with an already anxious heart, though I haven't left home yet.

I want to stay home today, but if I ask, then my mom is going to call out of work, and stay here to make sure that I'm okay, even if I bed for alone time and peace.

Something I don't get unless it's only Jason home.

It only takes me five more minutes to get ready and I grab my big goodie that I got for my birthday, throwing it on over my small body before I grab my book bag and make my way out of the room and down the stairs.

To my surprise, Jason is already standing in the kitchen, his back leaning against the counter behind me as he eats an apple and watches the family move around the room. And I already know what he's thinking about. He's thinking about leaving. And that's the scariest thing that I've heard in my life.

Even though he doesn't know, his reputation is the only thing that mostly protects me from the mostly human school form picking on me.

Though there's a few that still brave the shakes waters and survive.

I don't want to bother Jason or Clary with my problems, knowing that people already see me as weak and defenseless enough.

If he leaves, I'll become free meat in the market.

If he stays, he might not find his Mate, the real reason he wants to leave. Though Benny doesn't care, I don't want to be the reason that he doesn't go find the love of his life. So I keep my mouth shut about school and take the insults and beating in silence, even if I know that he would drop it all for me.

When everyone hears me enter the room they all turn and smile at me but I don't pay any attention. It's Jason that looks at me as if he's bored and ready to go.

"Come on, runts. It's time for school."

~~~~~~~~~~~~
Whew okay, quick nap and then i'll be back up. I almost fell asleep in the tub. I might gts around two and write the while way in the car if I'm going to be up earlier than I thought.

Thoughts?

Comments?

QOTD: Whats your favorite thing about yourself. You're not allowed to say nothing.