Little Avenger

Little Trouble

With the coldness of the night after the sun fell, it felt almost impossible for a being to live in a closet. It didn’t get warm in the space. It was cold and dark. The lights barely peeked through the bottom of the door. Even when they did, it meant that the door hadn’t been shut fully.

Moments like this, when the door hadn’t been shut all the way, always made Yunno’s heart race. It pounded so hard within their chest that they practically could feel it thumping into the tip of their fingers. It was a strange feeling, one they did not enjoy. Admitting the fact they had grown used to it was already impossible enough task on top of everything they experienced day to day. With the oh so familiar anxiety burned through their being, their large frame pressed deeper into the closet. They did not fit in it, but it didn’t stop the cruel being who forced them to sleep in it anyways. The closet was the only space they were allowed to be in... unless stated otherwise of course.

The front door of the apartment slammed closed. The sound made them jump a little more. It always made them jump or flinch. The heavy door never closed right, even when he and Yunno were first looking at the apartment to buy it. Carefully, they waited in the closet. They were sitting up in the corner on the right. The clothing hides them away and only makes the space darker than before. Hiding behind the clothes always made them feel as if the fabrics would protect them from the horrors that often waited outside for them. While it, obviously, didn't work this way, it helped.

About thirty minutes had passed with the apartment being sent into deathly silence. With this time given, Yunno carefully scooted on their butt to the doors. They pressed their hands onto it, one on each door, before putting pressure on it. The doors creaked loudly, startling the little one trapped within the doors. Their heart practically skipped a beat as they quickly pulled their hands away. Their large frame shuffling deeper into the closet again until their back was against the wall. Their chest rose and fell at a quickened pace. For a moment, just one, they had been convinced the sound came from the much heavier front door.

Ten minutes ticked by as the apartment was cast into silence once more. Now being reassured it was just the doors in front of them, Yunno pushed open the doors. They didn’t swing open, not in the slightest. The carpet of the bedroom had always made the room impossible to get doors open since they hadn’t been cut right for the frame. Seeing all the lights off in the room reassured the regressor. It felt safer knowing that the cruel being that they had found themselves living with was gone from the home.

Carefully, they looked around the closet for their comforting items. Soon their fingers found their pacifier, popping it into their mouth quickly as they allowed themselves to fall into little space. The headspace comforted them and urged them to relax in safety. They always found it easier to slip when they were calmer. They've never experienced a panic attack in little space, well one that they could remember anyways.  Yunno didn't really remember a lot when they regressed in all truth.

They picked up their favorite blanket before carefully getting out of the closet, mostly crawling honestly. The little one carefully balanced themselves onto their feet, using the frame of the closet doors to have something to hold onto. Then shuffled themselves out of the doorway of the closet once they were sure they could stand okay. Yunno looked around the bedroom, just double checking or even tripple checking. The home was quiet, besides the soft night breeze that came through the poorly insulated bedroom window. A heavy breath fell from them while their shoulders slumped. Relief washed over them quickly.

They carefully shuffled across the carpet to the nightstand by the bed. They almost tripped as their knee bumped into the night stand. A small whimper escaped them as their hands scrambled in the dark to turn the lamp on. It took a few tries but Yunno managed to grasp the knob on it and turn it. After a few clicks the lamp flickered to life. The lamp was a soft yellow, a shade that didn’t make their eyes hurt, so they often turned it on instead of using the main light.

Soon they settled down in front of the bedroom tv on the floor. Honestly it was more of a fall then a graceful sitting. They didn't really care about that though. The tv sat low on the tv stand the pair had found on the side of the road a few months ago. It worked out since their bed didn’t have a frame. They looked around for the remote, quickly finding it discarded near the foot of bed. They reacted over an snatched it up as soon as it was in their sights.

As the tv booted awake, Yunno wrapped themselves into their blankie so they were safe. Their blankie would always keep them safe and it has always done so too. Once the tv was on, they curled up on the floor and flicked through the various movies kept on the tv. As usual, they settled on watching the first Avengers movie. They had always loved the Avengers. It didn’t help that ever since things had gotten worse with their boyfriend, who happened to be their promised caregiver, they wished they could escape to the world they watched on repeat. They often dreamed of going to the world, how they would fit into it, and everything. Even if it meant they would be weak and discarded in the world. Just being there brought them comfort.

They quietly rocked back and forth as they watched the movie. They giggled at some parts, and sometimes even shook their hands around from excitement. No matter how many times they watched these movies, or shows, they never got old. This world would forever be their world to them. Yunno felt their eyes grow heavy while watching the movie. They fought the urge to cast themselves within their mind and the world that they had watched. They would always be safe there, something they often told themselves. Their eyes began to close as the front door of the apartment swung open.

They barely had time to react to the sound. They shot up from the floor, scrambling to turn the tv off, then the lamp, before just barely throwing themselves into the closet. As much as they wished it was quiet, they knew it wasn’t. They we're too big to do such actions in a quiet manner. They've always hated their size. Nothing could convince them that they would like their size, at least that's how it felt.

Yunno curled up on the floor of the closet, biting down on their pacifier as they pretended to be asleep. They kept their back turned to the doors that now were held so tight no light came through the bottom. Laying down made it next to impossible to fit within the space. They were nowhere near small physically, as much as they wished they were. The closet barely had any room for the makeshift bed their caregiver allowed them to have. Most of their stuff Juan burned, so they didn't own much. Even the clothes on their back were hand me downs from Juan.

They closed their eyes tightly and prayed that Juan didn't hear them. Though they were too late, he had found the blanket they had forgotten about on the floor at the foot of Juan's bed. Yunno wasn't allowed out of the closet, unless at meal times or if Juan, their boyfriend, got bored and wanted some company. They hated when he was bored because he didn't understand the difference between sexual little space and non-sexual. Yunno wasn't a sexual little. They didn't feel those things even when they weren't regressed, they're asexual to put it simply.

Though, as time went on it felt like Juan did it on purpose. They thought it was normal, at least now given how long this all had been happening for. Deep down they knew it was wrong, but it was hard to break such feelings when you are so used to this sort of cycle.