Crucified -Jean X Reader

Lost

***🍋 A BIT OF LEMONADE & A BIT OF TEARS🍋***

"Y/N?"

Your hand stop writing as you looked up. A tired smile made it's way to your face as you see your cadets in front of you.

"Hey Munchkins how can I help you"

"Come hang with us tonight" pleaded Sasha.

"Yeah, you haven't hanged with us for months, you're always busy" agreed Connie.

You sighed as you casted your eyes back at the paper you were writing on, more so doodling.

"Like you said Connie, I'm always busy. Sorry"

"Y/N, are you sure everything is alright? You've been well a bit gloomy these past few months" said Marco with full concern.

"Pft. Me? No, it's just life of an Advisor Marco, loads of work you know. Especially with the whole expedition coming up-"

A sound of laughter interrupted your conversation as Mikasa arrived with Jean. Mikasa glanced behind before she entered the room.

A soft smile made a way to your face as you see Jean linked with Mikasa. You truly couldn't believe Jean was on his 5 month with her, you were truly proud of him. He was a gentleman with her, always spoiling her with affection and random little things. 

You see as Armin walked in your room followed by Eren both smiling. 

"What is this, an interrogation?" you joked.

"What? No! We thought if we all came, we'd probably convince you to hang out with us" smiled Armin

"Yeah, you've done so much for us we want to treat you out" smiled Jean at you.

Your heart wanted to jump at the chance and go with them, but your brain took over dominance as it replied for you.

"Very sweet of you guys to offer such a sweet gesture. I truly appreciate, but I can't. I'm sorry"

"But Levi is coming with us to babysit Eren, Can't you keep him company? You know how he gets bored with us" said Sasha.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Levi stood by the doorway of your office as he folded his arms looking at you waiting for your answer. You quickly looked away as you gave Sasha an apologetic smile.

"Sasha Love, I'm so sorry, but I have my hands completely tied here."

You looked around the room seeing all the sad faces, "Maybe some other time guys, but go enjoy your night! I wanna hear all the gossip when you get back, full details got it" you beamed at them.

"You got it!" beamed Connie.

They waved their goodbyes as they left socializing with one another. Levi was out the door last, before he turned around to look at you. His mouth opened to say something, but you simply held your hand up not wanting to hear him. He looked down as he left the room, closing your door.

You stood from your chair as you walked over to your window. You peered down as you see the figures of your cadets walking. Your eyes casted down to Mikasa and Jean. A hint of jealous and envy pained your heart.

Mikasa was everything , She was gorgeous, She was talented, skilled, She had cool friends, she went out every night, she had a loving boyfriend too. She had everything. 

All the things she had, you lost.

You just wanted her life. what did you have? Your friendship with Levi was gone, you never went out, all you did was overwork yourself to the bone.