Crucified -Jean X Reader

Cold Shoulder

Your eyes flutter open from the direct light that hit your face. You tried to sit up, but you feel something holding you down. A light snore breaks your confused thoughts as you realized it was Jean still sleeping on you.

You lift him up a bit as you slid from underneath him. You see his brows furrow as his hands search for your warmth. Not wanting to disturb his slumber you slipped one of your pillows under his grasp. A smile of satisfaction makes it's way to Jean's face as he snugs into your pillow.

You dressed before you grabbed your plan. Before making your may you walked over to Jean's sleeping figure. You patted his head as you gave him a solemn smile.

"Take all the time you need" you whispered.

You quietly click the door behind you as you left.

---

Advisors and Captains sat around the table. Today will be the presenting of possible plan routes to engage in during the Expedition. Each Advisor was asked to try to come up with one possible formation/route.

As you looked down at your plan. you smiled pretty happy with your route. You felt the scent of Black tea brush up your shoulder, giving away the persons identity.

"Looks pretty good L/N" he stated.

"Thanks Ackerman" 

"Y/N.." 

You didn't respond.

Levi sighs as he runs his hand through his hair.

"I miss you, you filthy germ"

Again you didn't reply.

"C'mon Y/n" he said nudging you. "I miss picking on my favorite booger"

Your face cringed in distaste at his words. You felt him nudge your side again.

"Oi! Cut it out will you" you answered bitterly.

Levi dropped his elbow as he sighed in defeat. Seems like the friendship between you really died. He couldn't help but shoot a dagger of a glare at Erwin, after all he was the cause for all this.

You placed your face in the palm of your hand as you heard one of the advisors speak. As they finished their presentation you see Shadis call Erwin next. That meant you were last to present.

You tried to lift your nerves up. "Their saving the best for last" you said to yourself.

Your eyes scanned Erwin as he stood and flashed that sweet saint-like smile. He stood like a sculptured god before his praisers waiting to hear him preach wisdom and knowledge. 

Erwin's eyes met yours. You froze not knowing what to do. The next thing you knew, he was blowing a kiss to you in front of everyone. Everyone awed at the sweet affection towards his beloved, but all you did was sit there. Your eye began to twitch. Was this some fucking kind of joke?

Eyes went on you waiting to see the gesture return. Erwin stood as well waiting with a smile on his face . You couldn't help but give In, in defeat. You did forgive him after all, but that didn't mean you still weren't upset with what happened. Your lips trembled as you sent him a smile and pretended to blush at the gesture, earning "Awws".

Shadis gestured Erwin to commence and he did. You couldn't help but actually listen to Erwin as he spoke. The plan began to sound eerie familiar. And as he pulled out his drawn out formation. Your mouth gape open as your eyes widen in shock. He was presenting your own plan as his own.

You began to stutter not believing what was happening. Has this man not done enough to hurt you already? For fucks sake you forgave the man! All because you didn't want to be lonely, because you love him, but this? How could he?! He knows how much work and effort you put in your work. He knows how much the Commander role means to you as much as it means to him.

He back stabbed you. That dirty sadistic fucking liar. How could you fucken love him.

You felt your hands grip the table harshly. Your teeth gritted. That dirty fucker. Was that why he came into my room that night? He planned this. He did. He set this up. He knew it would hurt you and he didn't care.

"-/N, Y/N" 

A hand came down on your shoulder. You look up to see the presence of your savior himself looking down on you. He offered you a smile as he asked if you were fine. 

"I'm fine" you mumbled.

Shadis called you to present. Your hand grasped your plan. You walked over to Shadis and. handed it to him with explanation before sitting back down. Everyone was confused on why you didn't begin presenting.

Shadis pulled away from your plan and asked Erwin to hand his over. Viewing both a straight-line formed on his face. He looked displease.

"Smith, L/N who wants to explain themselves?"

"Commander Shadis-"

"Explain what?" asked Erwin innocently.

"This" he handed over the two plans over to Erwin.

Erwin pretended to study them for a bit. His acting of a saint came into play as he widen his eyes. He gasped as he looked up at you.

"My Love, did you steal my plan?"

The room gasped as it fell silent.

You felt your heart literally drop.

"Your plan?!" you scoffed.

Erwin pretended to feel hurt by the way you responded. He look down as he shook his head in disappointment.

"How could you Y/N, After we both agreed to support each other for this role..you-you back stab me?! But.. "

 he kicked it up a notch and brought in his water works

Seeing his eyes glaze your anger began to burn into pure furry. Don't you fucken dare!

"But I thought- You loved me" he said looking at you as quiet tears stream down his face.

Everyone looked over at Erwin in empathy while they looked over at you with pure hatred. You should of known. Levi was right this whole time. You saw it before that night, but yet you ignored it. Why did you ignore it? You were too in love with him that's why..But why? Why must you always want Erwin? Your hair fell over your eyes as it casted a shadow over them.

Right. You know why.

You sighed as you gave up in defending yourself. What was the point. This isn't the first time a false accusation was made about you. Who would believe you over the all good saint. You look in the eyes of the liar.

Before you were able to speak you sense movement on your right. You knew Levi was going to stand to defend you. You swiftly kicked his leg out from under causing him to fall back into his chair. His eyes widen as he looked at you. You didn't look at him, you simply shook your head.

"I-I. I'm sorry Erwin, Shadis. Forgive me. I was so tired and I couldn't come up with anything...Please let me be excused" you whispered.

You could feel water threatening to leave your eyes.

"Go ahead L/N"

You quickly walked out and made your way outside to the top of the hill. A sob escaped from your mouth as you dropped to your knees.

That traitor. I loved him.

You sat yourself leaning back on the tree as the sun began to go down. Your tears dried up as you blanky stared out. You felt someone plop down next to you. You didn't bother to turn, you simply leaned your head on his shoulder.

"Why must you always want Erwin?" he asked quietly.

"Because...that cold shoulder will always feel warm to me"