Fifty shades of Phan

Chapter 1

I wake up, my bed sheets tangled round me in a untidy knot. I reach out and grab my phone and check the time, 11:30am, I'M ALREADY THREE HOURS LATE!

I shove the covers off me and race towards the shower, picking up the best suit I own as I pass my wardrobe.
"I can't be any later, I can't be any later" I repeat, over and over again, as I frantically jig about waiting for the shower to turn on.
Not bothering to wait and see if the temperature is comfortable I leap into the stream of trickling water, temporarily freezing my bum in the process, but I don't have time to fiddle about with the heat settings, so I have to bear the icy coldness of the shower for a few minutes.

I climb out the shower and swing my towel around my back,
Hey, I'd be a pretty good Matador with Cape skills like that... NOT THE TIME! I HAVE AN INTERVIEW WHICH I'M ALREADY LATE FOR!!
I quickly rub the towel around me to dry myself off before slipping into my suit.

I fiddle to try and do my shirt buttons up, but my fingers aren't getting a proper grip of the button,
"BUTTERFINGERS!" I yell at my hands, bloody hell, I'm going to get such a bad reputation for this.
Once I finally manage to do up my shirt, I slip on my jacket and do up my tie, before racing downstairs.

I grab an apple to eat on the way, and run out the house, slamming the door behind me.
That's the moment I realise I've left my phone, keys, Oyster card and wallet inside.

"BLOODY HELL!" I shout, rattling the front door which, as I suspected, won't budge,
This means I've got to run to work.
One thing needed to be known about me is that I don't do exercise, not even if my life depended on it,
But today I have no choice, I sprint down my road, I've taken about five paces and am already tasting blood, my head feels light and in sweating like crazy,
"Are you a wimp?" I ask myself,
"I SAID, are you a wimp!?"
"YOUR RUNNING WETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!" I scream, once again quickening my pace.

"MOVE!" I yell to a clump of tourists who are congregated in the middle of the pavement to take a picture of a Phone box, they slowly part to the side of the path so I can get past quickly.
I take a few bends and my office is in sight, I can't breathe properly anymore and my lungs feel like they've turned inside out and swollen up to the size of a Giant rabbit.

"Good morning Sir" the lady that works the front reception greets, as I rush through the revolving doors, I have no time to chat now, so I ignore this lady and smash my hand into the lift call button.
Luckily the lift was already waiting at my current floor, and the doors opened immediately.

I pressed the button for floor 69 where my office is and collapsed in a heap, panting heavily, but this wasn't over yet... I still have to get to my office.

I listen to the awkward lift music as I travel up the office, and the second the doors open I flee down the passageway towards my office.
I spot a man with jet black hair, about my height walking the same direction as I was heading carrying a mug of hot tea,
I bet he has no where important to be right now!
"INCOMING!!" I scream, shoving into this man spilling the hot tea all over him, I have no time to see my victims face and apologise, I don't even hear him complain.

I fall through some double doors and into my office where I slump in a heap on the ground.

I made it...

*BUZZZ* "Sir, the interviewer is here" Janet, my secretary informs me, and I sigh,
"Bring them in"

Well done Dan, you officially didn't die.