Fifty shades of Phan

Chapter 30

The ride pulls back into the 'harbour' and Phil and I climb out the boat,
"Thank you, have a good rest of your day" the lady beams at Phil and I and we thank her. I look at Phil to see that he has positioned his hoodie over his crotch, and I figure out he's probably hiding something.

I wait till we're out the queue section for pirate falls, and with one brisk hand movement, I manage to swipe Phil's jacket out his delicate hands, freeing a small erection into the world.

"DAN!" Phil hisses, scrambling to the floor to retrieve his jacket,
"Yeass?" I reply, making a it sound like my voice is breaking. Phil looks up and makes eye contact with a small child, staring horrified at his crotch, and I can't help but burst out laughing.

"Mummy!!" The little child screams, running away from Phil, who desperately tries to grab the child to relieve them.
"No wait!" Phil begs, but the little boy has already sprinted off and is pointing to Phil and I to a disturbingly muscly woman.

"Phil..." I whimper, as the lady storms over to Phil and I, with the boy behind her smirking at us with a look of smug satisfaction plastered on his face.
"The fuck you think your doing mate?" The lady confronts Phil, who's mouth is practically touching the floor,
"I-I" Phil manages to stammer,
"It's not what it looks like" I slide into the conversation, and the lady raises her eyebrow at me,
"His trousers are old, and they got wet, basically when his trousers get wet the fabric of the jeans kinda 'sculpts' itself, meaning that he looks like he has an erection, when really he's just wet" I grin, and the lady stares at me even more horrified,
"OH NO NOT WET WET, NO I MEANT SOGGY WET, WATER WET!!"  I un-innuendo myself.

"You make me sick" the lady spits and I glare at her,
"Well when you swore in front of your child I didn't exactly feel like you were particularly nice either" I growled at her and she raised her arm as if to hit me,
"I DIDN'T SWEAR IN FRONT OF MY PRECIOUS TOMMY, HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF SUCH A RIDICULOUS THING" the lady shouted, and I smirk at her,
"Why the fuck you lyingg, why you always lyingg, oh my god, stop fucking lyinnngggggggg" I sing, and that was the last straw for the woman. She took a swing at me, punching my nose, and I grab it in shock.

"Dan!?" Phil asks shocked, and I remove my grasp from my nose so Phil could examine it,
"Come on Tommy" the lady who just punched me instructs her son, and I look desperately around for a member of staff who have possibly seen this witch punch me.

"Where do you think you're going?" Phil hisses, snapping his arm out and grabbing the woman's hand,
"Get.off.me" the lady snarls, and I see Phil slowly start to retract his arm,
"Do you know who he is?" Phil asks, pointing to me, and the lady shrugs. For fuck sake Phil don't bring me back into this!!
"HE is Mr.Howell, from Howells clothes. This man has more respect and money than you will ever earn in your entire life. So how's about next time you want to physically touch him, you consider getting to know the person first" Phil smirks at this woman who is now looking at me with interest.

"Phil let's go" I reach out and hold Phil's hand, and start to lead him off towards the Dragon's castle,
"Bastard" I heard the lady mutter under her breath, making me stop dead in my tracks, spin round and salute her with my middle finger.

I ignore the mothers shout of hate to Phil and I as we disappear round the corner,
"You brought that punch up on yourself" Phil scolds me, and I grin cheekily at him,
"How so?"
"You showed a small boy my erection" Phil glares at me, and I wink at the gorgeous man stood in front of me,
"Next time, don't take so much Viagra" I laugh, and Phil playfully slaps my arm,
"Actually shut up!" Phil giggles.

Phil and I wonder round the theme park, going on different rides, and even buying a few of the picture souvenirs on 'The Viking ride' and 'Fairytale Brook' as we're just that awesome.
"The park will be closing in five minutes, please make your way to the exit" a voice is heard over the loud speaker, and I see Phil's face sink with disappointment,
"We can always come back another day" I whisper in his ear, and Phil chuckles, hugging the giant fish teddy bear I won him, being the cute, adorable person I am.

We amble up through the model village, back up to the exit, stopping for a quick selfie when we saw my office building,
"Dan look!" Phil exclaims, and I walk up to him, where he is pointing to a Lego version of my office, with a Lego person standing looking out the 69th window.
"Their attention to detail is worryingly accurate" I laugh, pulling my phone out, and snapping a few selfies.

"Do you think they'll have a lego version of the BBC?" Phil asks me, and I nod,
"They must do! If my office is there, and paddington station is there.... AHA! Look there it is! The BBC!" I exclaim, pointing to the glass curved building, where alas there is no mini Becky and Jessica reading magazines.

"The park is closing in two minutes, I repeat two minutes" the voice on the loud speaker repeats, and a man in Legoland uniform comes over and ushers Phil and I out up to the exit.

"Have a nice day!" Phil reads the sign, as we return to my car,
"You too!" I reply sarcastically, revving the engine to life, and driving out back onto the motorway.

"I have work tomorrowwww" Phil whines and I giggles,
"We could always repeat today?" I wink, and Phil glares at me,
"I have to go to work Dan, I need the money" Phil rolls his eyes at me, and I putt hands up in defence.

Soon I'll persuade you Phil...

A/N-
OLA AMIGOS!!

I'm sorry, I'm not Spanish but I had a rare YOLO moment.
This is just a quick apology to say I'm really sorry if I haven't replied to one of your comments. Basically my Wattpad has stopped notifying me when someone comments on an early chapter, so I don't get told.

I'm not ignoring you I promise! I just honestly haven't been told you commented XD

Anywhoo, see you all soon :D

-LlamandLion =•=