Fifty shades of Phan

Chapter 58

I waddle like a penguin down the road which the hospital is in, in the rough direction of my office, which I can see looming in the distance, the tall, black object blocking a section of London's sunlight.

"Taxi!" I hail, and the can pulls over,
"I need a free rice to my office" I explain to the driver as I clamber in,
"Fuck off" the driver laughs, and I glare at him,
"This is a rescue mission you little shit, I never see total badass rescuers paying their drivers!" I protest, and the driver snorts,
"Well this isn't a Disney movie laddie, now you either agree to pay or get out my vehicle." The driver growls at me, and I sigh, leaning forward in the backseat so I'm closer to the driver's window blocking the front part of the taxi to the back.

"Do you have any idea who I am?" I whisper the the driver, who shakes his head,
"No idea" He exhales, obviously getting frustrated by my refusal to move.
"My name is Daniel James Howell, I am the owner of Howell's clothing- the most popular clothes line in the whole of the United Kingdom, and the second most popular in the Untied States of America. I am the man who has more power in one strand of hair than your whole family put together has, and I am also the man who's deeply in love, which is already a dangerous enough thing, so you fucking better drive now or you'll have to deal with the consequences" I snarl, and the taxi driver looks at me with an unimpressed look plastered on his face.

"Yeah, and I'm the Arch Bishop of Canterbury" The driver jokes, and I glare at him,
"I don't give a fucking shit who you are, now DRIVE!" I scream, and the cabby gets out of his car and opens my door,
"Out" He glares, and I shake my head, "That's it, I'm calling the cops" The driver threatens, as he whips out his phone from his pocket and trudges over to the pavement and holds his phone up to his ear.

I peer through the glass into the front of the taxi, and see that the driver has left the keys in the ignition, and I know exactly what I have to do. Slowly, I edge my bum towards the open door, keeping my eyes glued on the taxi driver, who is too busy staring at his reflection in the shop window in front of him to notice what I'm doing behind him. Am I really going to steal a taxi? Wait, why am I even questioning this, of fucking course I'm going to steal a taxi. Why not, eh?

"1...2...3..." I whisper to myself, before quickly leaping out the back of the taxi, and running round the door, diving into the driver's seat and starting the engine up, and quickly slamming my foot on the acceleration pedal.

"HEY! STOP!" I hear the taxi driver shout, but I choose to ignore him. I'm too concerned about the fact I'm driving in a taxi at about 70mph through the congested streets of London with two bloody doors wide open. I'm probably going to die, but I'll take the risk for Phil.

I reach out and shut my door, just leaving the door behind me in the back wide open as I weave through the cars, lorries, busses and other taxis all honking their horns at me as I drive dangerously, cutting in front of them to squeeze into narrow gaps.
I see a gap to the right of me, and I quickly roll my steering wheel round so the car spins through the gap into the space. I hear a smash, and I see the back door which I'd left wide open fly through the sky into the road.
"Oh, shit!" I mutter, looking horrified at the debris of the taxi's door lying in the road.

Now with the missing door, I feel about ten thousand times more vulnerable than I already did, so I decide to scrap the congested roads, and transfer myself to the thinner, quieter route through single roads and crossing through the occasional red light. To my surprise, I managed to arrive at my office without any police chasing me, and with only a minor whiplash! SUCCESS.

I try to drift the taxi into the lay-by, but of course as the taxi isn't manual it didn't work and I just did a really lame skid into a lamppost, which set about four surrounding parked car's alarms off.

I scramble out the taxi, having no time to adjust my terrible parking skills, and I gallop into my office.
The reception area all looks relatively normal, and there's no sign of Nick, and for once, not seeing Nick worries me, how do I know if Phil's already been injured?

The lift doors ping open, and I see a man run out looking frightened, then Phil slowly pulling himself up off the floor, and start to slowly trudging out towards the exit of the building. I feel my heart sink in relief, knowing Phil is alive and okay, but of course that didn't last long as I spot Nick walking straight towards Phil at the quickest pace, and the next ten seconds went in a literal blur.

I watch in horror as Nick grabs Phil's shirt and pulls the startled looking boy back into his grasp and wraps his arm around his torso, pulling him into the blade of the potato peeler.

I move quickly, and grab the fire extinguisher next to me and run around the back of Nick Jonas, wielding the extinguisher over my head.
"Tell me if this hurts" I hear Nick whisper to Phil,
"You tell me" I snarl, as I plummet the metal object down onto Nick's head using all the strength I has in me, and instantly Nick's grip loosened on Phil, and he falls to the floor in a heap.

The room erupts with gasps, and Phil spins round, and instantly tackles me in a hug which I instantly return to him, and I allow the boy to use my chest as a tissue as he sobs gently into it.

Gently, I kiss Phil's forehead, glaring down and Nick's body on the floor,
"Can someone ring the police please? Make sure this thing is arrested and never released" I shout, motioning to Nick on the floor, and instantly all my colleagues start to pull out their phones and call 999.

"The police are on their way" I hear a woman speak up a few seconds later, and I sigh in relief.

Finally, we're going to be safe.

A/N-
GOOD NEWSS, SHE'S DEADDD
THE WITCH OF THE WEST IS DEAD.

Ahem. Sorry, this isn't Wicked.
I figured that would be kinda appropriate though, even though Nick isn't either dead or a girl.
You get the idea though xD

I'm sorry my updating has been really dodgy, I've been so busy with so much stuff and just haven't had the time.
ALSO-
You might have seen me post about this on my Wattpad page but I was literally on a bus the other day and the person I was sat next to was READING THIS BOOK!!! I was so shocked and surprised, it was just like 'oh hey, that's my book... hey'- EXCEPT I didn't say anything as I was too shocked, so I just looked like a weirdo staring at them for the whole journey.
So if it was you sat on the bus with a weird person looking at you and your phone for the whole journey, I'm very sorry, but it was so cool I was just AHHHH.
I'm still not really over it if you can't tell xD

-Llamaandlion =•=