Trying For You

Chapter Fifty Five

RILEE POV

Brittany sat on the porch swing while I stayed standing. I leaned against the wall and crossed my arms, waiting for her to say whatever she wanted. I thought she left after not seeing her for weeks but I also knew how persistent she could be. I once loved that fact about her but eventually found out it was used against me too often.

"I don't have all day." I muttered, staring her down.

She inhaled and exhaled, running her hand through her hair. "I'm sorry."

I lifted a brow at the lame ass apology. "Okay, is that it?"

"Rilee, I'm late. Like a year late but I'm so fucking sorry for what I did to you. I'm not even going to excuse it with old feelings I had for her. The fact is, I hurt you. I should've come sooner for that. But after we broke up.....I just," she shrugged. "I was so ashamed of what I did and I let it keep me away. I should've chased you, begged for forgiveness and do whatever I could to get you back. Because I know what I lost when I lost you." She got up and walked over to me. "I lost the very best thing in my life. I lost someone who loves me without question, a girl who went above and beyond for me. Gosh Rilee, you are the very definition of perfect and I sabotaged that."

I silently stared at the woman who was now a stranger. I heard everything she said and thought about how I'd feel months ago. How her words would've affected me. Would I have forgiven her? I'd like to believe I wouldn't have, that I would've had more self respect than that.

Here, before me stood someone I once saw my future with, the woman who held my heart back then and someone I would've done anything for. Blue eyes that once rendered me speechless and a frown that used to make my heart ache. Because that's how my love for her was. It was selfless and so profound that her moods affected mine.

Now those eyes seemed as plain as, well anything that wasn't the shade of Quinn's blue eye. Her smile didn't make my heart happy and her frown only made me uncomfortable. My hands didn't itch to run through red hair but enjoyed the feel of thick, soft raven hair. When I thought of love, only one girl came to mind and it wasn't the one standing on my parents' front porch.

"Loved." I corrected.

"What?" She asked, stepping closer.

I stepped back to put distance between us. "You said love but that's wrong. You're right, Brittany. You're right about everything but that one word because I did love you that much. I loved you so much that I lost myself, lost who I really was. But I'm not lost anymore and it took me a while to heal from the damage you caused but I did heal. I rediscovered myself and came out stronger." I decided to speak my mind. "I found someone who accepts me, faults and all. Someone who supports my dreams and encourages me. Someone who has never, not once, asked me to give up part of myself for their own selfishness. Her clinginess matches mine and she never fails to reassure me. She taught me what real love is and what we had," I gestured between us. "While it was real to me, it meant so little to you. Because you don't destroy the people you love."

She nodded solemnly. "I'm too late."

"You could've ran after me that same second but it still wouldn't have mattered. You broke us the instant you took someone else to bed."

Brittany sighed, looking out to the street. "I am truly sorry for what it's worth. For not only the cheating but our fights before that. It doesn't change anything but yeah. This girl, I take it, it's the one from earlier?" I nodded curtly. "I hope she makes you happy."

"She does." I answered simply.

The redhead went silent for a moment before looking back at me. "Goodbye, Rilee. I'll see you around."