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Alhumdullilah!
Since days, I was thinking to share a topic which could really help us, strengthen our Iman.
Alhumdullila...
A lot of married couples may need to hear this story I want to share today. Indeed, not all marriages are same but for sure it has its highs and lows.
Marriage is something you need to work on - indeed as they say it is not always a honeymoon phase but remember this is a person Allah has given you to be with in this dunya - so make sure you take good care of each other.
I want to tell you about Hammanah Bint Jahsh (or Hamnah) and Mus'ab Ibn Umair Radiyallahu Anhum.
You must have heard of the story of Mus'ab as he is a famous companion but behind this great man was a woman who gave all her support towards him - Hammanah or Hamnah (the sister of Zaynab bint Jahsh - one of the wives of the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalaam).
They were a young couple and were both from a prominent and well off families from the Quraish. Musa'b, before he entered Islam, was known for his luxuries and the way he would clothed himself - which earned him the title - the flower of the Quraish.
When he entered the fold of Islam, his family - specifically his mother Khunas int Malik, stripped him off his luxuries and all his privileges. During these times, Hamnah was with Mus'ab.
I want you to imagine the drastic change that this young couple had to go through both as individuals and as a married couple. Nowadays, when a wife usually asks for something and the husband fails to give or provide it - there’s chaos in the home or if husband doesn’t have a job but does what it takes to make ends meet - he gets a beating of words from the wife which boils down to a heated argument in the home.
This couple, lost everything in one turn. Yet, such are the believers of Allah - they knew well their purpose in life and to have that support from a person closest to you - sometimes if not most of the times - has a great affect in your perseverance.
They both gave this to each other. They both went through the struggles of it even during the time when every tribe in Makkah boycotted the Band Hashim - they were with them - struggling to even have something to eat yet this didn’t disrupt their relationship because the very core of it was Allah.
For that, Allah made their love for each other strong. They both did the migration to Madinah together. Those days when Mus'ab was sent as the first envoy - Hamnah was by his side as well.
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But the point of my story is not only the support and love they both gave each other, it is when an event took place during the battle of Uhud.
When Battle of Uhud took place, she was amongst the women who tended to the wounded by providing them with water and assisting them.
We all know in this battle, many Muslims were martyred. Amongst them were her brother - Abdullah ibn Jahsh, uncle - Hamza ibn AbdulMutallib and her beloved husband - Mus'ab ibn Umair.
The narration goes:
“After the defeat of the Muslims in the Battle of Uhud where 70 Muslims were killed - Hammanah was told by the Prophet to endure her loss with patience.
She asked him whom he meant.
He said: “Your maternal uncle, Hamzah.”
She said: “To God we all belong and to Him shall we all return. May God forgive him and bestow mercy on him. He is blessed as a martyr in heaven.”
The Prophet again told her to bear her loss with patience. When she asked him whom he meant, he said: “Your brother Abdullah.” She repeated what she said about her uncle.
Yet the Prophet told her of another loss, and on her enquiry he mentioned her husband, Mus'ab ibn Umair. This time,
she screamed, saying: “Woe is me! Oh, for my grief!”
The Prophet commented: “A husband has a unique position with his wife no one else can fill.”
It is said that Mus'ab was only 35 when he was martyred - so we can tell how young this couple must have been.
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My dear brothers and sisters in Islam, are you waiting for a tragedy (losing your spouse) to come for you to realize their worth and place in your life?
As much as a husband has a unique position in his wife or wives’ hearts - it is same vice versa. Indeed, most men don’t show much affection and this is their human nature but that doesn’t mean they do not value their wife or wives.
Bottom line is life is short. Embrace the struggle within your marriage because this is what will make the bond stronger. Communication is the key.
Realize that this spouse/s of yours is someone that is there to strive through life with you - a gift from Allah. Work on fixing the issues - at the end of the line - your spouse, after Allah, is your next line of support when everyone else turns their backs on you.
Make it work, and ultimately Allah will reward you for it. Talk about it, remind each other. Go on a "halal” date, spend some quality time with each other. If you are with kids, then look at your kids - they are a result of two people who fell in love with each other.
Work on perfecting your ibadah - motivate each other because the more the couple are close to Allah so does their relationship between each other, as lovers are.
Please Allah in simple yet consistent ways for a spouse who pleases Allah is indeed one of the greatest blessings that a person can have in this world.
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Brothers, be the Mus'ab to your Hammanah and sisters, be the Hammanah to your Mus'ab.
May Allah make it easy for every brother and sister who are going through rough patches in their marriages. May Allah protect all the marriages of the Muslims from the evil temptations of the Shaitaan.
