Beautiful Ruin

Chapter 19.

April

I was out having dinner with my parents since they were in town for the weekend. Over dinner they went on and on about my sister and how she is engaged to a doctor. The whole time my mind wandered to my results from the blood test and I wondered if this was the perfect time to share.

"Well now that we're gonna have a doctor in the family maybe He can give me fake boobs."

"April, you are beautiful do you really need bigger breast."

"I may not need them to be bigger just replaced.

They both looked at me confused.

"I found out that I am in the early stages of breast cancer."

The table fell silent.

Emani

When we got home that night I went straight to my room. As I laid in bed all that kept replaying in my mind was that kiss. I touched my lips absentmindedly as I pondered why Jordan kissed me. Does he still have a thing for? I mean he seems to get mad when Austin comes over and hangs out with me but looking back now, I think it might have been jealousy. One thing was for sure I couldn't sleep without answers. I got out of bed and walked over to Jordan's room. As I lifted my hand to knock on the door, I got scared. Next thing I knew, Jordan was opening the door.

"Why are you outside my door?"

"I wanted to ask you something." I said looking down at the ground as I spoke.

"Well come in."

I walked in his room suddenly feeling nervous.

"Look," we both said in unison.

"You go first. I said.

"First off, I'm sorry about the kiss Mani. I never meant for it to happen like that it just did and I don't want my stupid mistake to affect out friendship."

"Oh good," I sighed with relieve. " For a second I thought you still had a thing for me. I was kind of nervous that it was serious," I said laughing.

He looked at me with hurt written all over his face from my response. My eyes opened up in shock. So Jordan still does have a thing for me.

He turned away from me and went to sit on the bed. I followed suit and sat next to him. He looked me directly in my eyes and said,

"Would it have been so bad if I did have feelings for you?"

Jordan

I didn't want to rush her into something she wasn't ready for but I just had to let het know how I felt. She stared at me surprised and scared at what I just said.

"You know what forget I said anything."

"That's just it Jordan, I can't." She got up and started pacing the floor.

"Mani it's okay if you don't feel the same way about me , I understand after all you've been through you.."

"That's just it Jordan I do feel the same. I just buried my feelings cause I thought you didn't anymore but being around these past weeks brought back those feelings and it scares me. If we decide to explore these feelings and it doesn't work out then what. Things get awkward and eventually I'll lose you, my best friend. I don't want to keep losing you."

"What if it does work out? We won't know unless we take the risk and I'm willing to try but only if you are."

I was now standing in front of her holding her face and looking into her eyes. I leaned in to kiss her again only this time she responded. She parted her lips and allowed my tongue access to her mouth. As the kiss deepened a desire awakened from deep within me. I pulled away not wanting to frighten her off. I stared into her eyes and started singing to her.

"What the hell babe,
Damn I ain't never felt this way
Somebody, somebody, tell me
I don't have a clue what to do
When it comes to you
Baby, you're so beautiful
Every time I see you girl, it throw me off
It's so unusual
For me to be waiting
But I don't want to blow it girl,
But you should know this girl
I'm not gonna be the one to mess this up
Cause I done effed up in love before,
I'ma be the one to take a back seat girl
We can take our time and
you can run this, Stay in, go out,
Anything you want girl, we can do
Girl are we going down, I don't know,
But from here now baby I'm gone leave that up to you,
I'ma leave it up to you"

I wiped a tear that escape the corner of her eyes.

"I mean it Mani. You got all the control so what's your call. Do you want to forget this happened or explore something new with me?"