Beautiful Ruin

Chapter 39

Emani

Jordan sure was taking long at the door I thought. At that moment he walked in the room and laid on the bed taking the baby from me.

"You okay baby?"

"Yh am good."

"So tomorrow we are going shopping."

"Uh Jordan I think she has enough stuff."

"Not for her, for you. Remember Sunday we going to church."

"Oh shit the Christening, I totally forgot about that. Can we push that back some?"

"Nope plus I'm already on top of it. I already called the pastor, called your grandma, ordered a cake and got a caterer. All that's left to do is get you a nice dress."

"Damn, you serious about this huh?"

"Ain nothing gonna stop ma baby from getting her blessing," he said as he kissed the top of her head.

She fell asleep on his chest which was the cutest thing ever. I just know he is going to be a great father. The way he looks at her and holds I know he would never let anything happen to her.

"Earth to Emani."

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts I didn't even realize he was speaking.

"Sorry what were you saying?"

"I said we got a new neighbour, can't remember her name but I sure as hell can't forget her face."

I smacked him upside the head.

"What was that for?! I was being honest! Whatchu want me to do, lie and act like she wasn't bad as hell? Next thing you see her in the hall ways and get mad at me later for not mentioning it huh."

"That was for the fact that I knew you was staring. You better not invite her over either."

"Goddamn why you gotta be so insecure."

"With good reason."

I took the baby off his chest and made my way out the room. To be honest I don't know why am so mad. Guess it's cause we already went down this road in the past and I don't wanna go back down there. I love Jordan but at the end of the day I know he is capable of hurting me. He already proved it.

I put the baby down in her crib and turned the baby monitor on before I left the room. I went to the kitchen to get a glass of water before heading back to the room. As I was washing the glass out I felt two strong hands wrapped around my waist.

"I'm sorry."

I felt his head dip into the crook of my neck as he gently started kissing and sucking. I could feel a pull deep in my belly making me moan. God he is going to be the death of me I swear. I turned around and looked into his deep, brown eyes searching them for some hint of sincerity.

"Jordan, can I trust you?"

Jordan

Did she honestly just asked me that question? After all the shit we've been through these last couple of months she is standing here questioning my loyalty?

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?"

"It's a valid question."

"After these past couple months and all the shit we been through you go spring this on me now."

"Yes now that you be staring at random bitches that pass yo way I need to know. Do you think I want a repeat of what happened the last time?"

"I thought we were past that Mani, don't go bringing up old shit to fuck this up. It's always some shit with you like you don't want us having a happy moment. No here comes Emani to fuck shit up with her sad ass feelings cause she always thinks low of herself.”

"You know what fuck you asshole."

She said before stomped off into the bedroom and slammed the door which woke the baby up. I walked over to the baby's room and picked her up out of her crib. I sat in the rocking chair as I laid her on my chest.

"Mommy didn't mean to wake you up she just being unreasonable. Cause I made one mistake doesn't mean I didn't learn from it. She act like I don't love her and when I do show her love she push me away. That shit hurts but what can I do about it. Now you on the other hand, so much easier to deal with I always know what you want and how you feel."

She was jus staring at me the whole time which was fine cause she made me happy and suddenly Mani and her bullshit did not matter anymore. Her eyes were closing so I decided to sing to her.

"...Sometimes these walls seem to cave in on me
When I look in your eyes, I feel alive
Some days we say words that don't mean a thing
But when you holding me tight, I feel alive
Make it last forever
Come on baby won't you hold on to me, hold on to me
You and I together
Come on baby won't you hold on to me, hold on to me..."

She was snoring quietly in my arms which had me grinning. I swear having a kid brings so much joy in your life. I placed her in her crib and kissed her forehead before leaving the room.

I walked slowly back to my room to face Mani. Even though am dreading it, I know I have to face her and work it out. When I opened the door she was curled up on her side of the bed. I turned the lights off and got in on my side of the bed. I peeped over at Mani and planted a kiss on the back of her head. She didn't move so I guess she was really asleep. I relaxed knowing that my girls were okay, even though I know I would have to face the bullshit tomorrow.