Beautiful Ruin

Chapter 29.

Jordan

I've been in the studio for 3 hours waiting on Emani to roll through. We've been paired together for the showcase and we planned to do a duet. I already did my solo and was just jotting down some ideas for the duet. She came in just as I was done.

"Let's get this over with."

"Good afternoon to you too."

"Cut the attitude Jordan," she took my notebook away from me and went over what I wrote. "This is good just have to tweak it a bit."

"Go right ahead."

"So baby tonight, I'm blowing up your line, I got you on my mind, an the truth is hard to find, so I'll be drunk texting ..."

"You can handle the bridge right?"

"Yh, I'll even throw an outro in too."

"Well when ever you're ready."

After about 10 minutes she was finished and we were in the booth. We did about five takes before we got it right.

"Sounds good to me what about you?"

"I'm good with it if you are, shall we go?"

"Yh."

We walked out of the studio and into the parking lot in silence. My phone rung, it was Zee so I ignored it. Mani looked at me then shook her head.

"What?"

"Nothing Jordan, nothing at all."

I sucked my teeth. All I have been getting from Emani lately is this stank ass attitude and it was really getting on my last nerve. We got in the car and I sped off towards the apartment. The entire ride was silent as usual, but this time she decided to talk.

"I went to the doctor's today."

"So how was it?"

"It was okay."

"Just okay, Mani can you put aside what ever anger you got towards me and just talk to me. It's my baby too you know. First off you don't tell me you even had an appointment you just keep me away. That shit hurts."

"Didn't think you would care."

"The fuck is that suppose to mean you didn't think I'd care. You know I fucking love you and I would do anything for you so now that you're pregnant what changed? Why are you treating me like some random nigga that got you pregnant."

"Jordan can we not do this right now. I just wanted to let you know I went to the doctor. Still haven't made up my mind if I'm keeping it."

I slammed down on the brakes hard, luckily no one was behind me.

"Emani, you are not killing our baby."

"It's not your choice to make Jordan, it's my body so I'll do what I want."

Emani

I didn't want to be this cold with Jordan but I don't know another way. right now. I don't want him getting attached when I'm not sure if I want to keep the baby. Looking at him now, I could see all the hurt and anger all over his face as he drove. He has been nothing but patient with me ever since I came back. I don't want to burden Jordan with this baby when he has so much going for him it would only slow him down.

Pulling up to the apartment, he got out and didn't even turn around to wait for me, he was beyond pissed. I took my time getting to the apartment not wanting to face his wrath. When I got to the door he was no where in sight. I suddenly felt like crying even though it was my fault that he was this way. Can't expect him to fight for me forever. I decided to take a shower then speak to him, after all it was his baby too.

I approached his door cautiously and raised my hand to knock. He opened the door and stood there in his towel making me forget why I knocked.

"Well Emani you got something to say or you going to look at a nigga, I ain't got all day."

I suddenly felt shy and looked down at my hands, "I want to talk about this."

"Haven't you said enough already? Seriously Emani I don't want to hear anything else okay."

"I'm sorry okay! I'm fucking scared and I don't want you to feel trapped or obligated to me. Jordan you have so much going for you, what kind of person would I be to take that from you."

“Emani we both fucked up by not using protection. I share half the blame and responsibility too.”

He took my face in his hands and brought it up to his. Tears began trickling down my face as he looked into my eyes.

"Don't you dare think for one minute that I would leave you to do this on your own. Having a baby won't stop any of us from what we want to do, it will motivate us to want it even more because we now have a legit reason to strive for greatness. Baby, I don't know how many times I have to tell you that I love you and I will always be here for you before you actually believe it. I know I fucked up but that don't mean I stop caring or love you any less."

"Whose to say you won't walk out on me again like the last time just because I fucked up and upset you.

"I can't say I won't and I won't lie either. Trust me when I say that you leaving me was the worst, but I was happy you came back. Our relationship has changed and I have to accept that. But like I said before you have all the power, always have always will it's up to you."

He wiped away my tears and kissed my forehead. I wrapped my arms around him and laid my head on his chest.

"I love you too Jordan and I forgive you."

"Stay the night with me."

"Okay."