confusifying | wicked | book 3/3

Nessa

I find Boc, he's sat on a bed facing away from the door, I can't believe what I'm about to tell him to do.
It's for the best, I need him to leave and forget I ever existed, for him to go away and never look back.
I just don't want to hurt him anymore and hurting him now will save him later.
"Boc." I whisper delicately, he turns around frantically.
"Nessarose!" He cries softly "I'm so sorry I ran away I just..."
"Boc." I stop him mid sentence "you have to listen to me."
He nods slowly, a look of concern spreads across his face.
"You need to leave."
Bocs posture goes ridged, his mouth drops and his eyes widen.
"Nessa I don't understand." He cries, grabbing my hands in his.
I hurriedly untangle my hands from his web of fingers.
"Boc you need to go, I don't care where, I don't care who your with, you just need to go and never look back." I snap, I just need him to leave, I want him to have a life.
"Nessa I won't do that to you!" He sobs, his eyes red and devastated "I love you."
I take a deep breath, I know this is what's best for him, the sooner he forgets me, the sooner he isn't in pain anymore.
"I don't want you to love me!" I shout "I want you to leave. Go, get out!"
Boc shakes his head as large tears roll down his face.
"No, Nessa." He whispers "we can do this, we can make this work, I'm sure we can, I know we can!"
"You can't be anywhere near me anymore!" I cry, a feeling of desperation rattles the furniture, I long to breathe heavily, using these powers don't affect my sisters physically in the slightest but they leave me breathless and exhausted.
"Okay!" Boc cries, the rattling subsided and I can finally take enough breaths to last me my next few words.
"Boc." I whisper, biting my tongue "Boc it's time, I'm sorry."

Boc walks dismally towards the front door, his feet dragging behind him like a sad, forlorn Puppy without food. Glinda is waiting nearby, I hold my breath, she shakes her head sadly.
"Glinda you have to talk her out of this!" Boc sobs.
"Nessa think this through," Glinda hisses.
"Boc get out." I snap "just take care of yourself."
Boc turns around to put his hand on my shoulder, I can't bare this.
"I said go!" I scream, the room seems to shake, Glinda is knocked to the ground and Boc is thrown against the door.
"Nessa!" He cries, I breathe heavily for a long time, slowly regaining my stamina.
"Boc please, just go."
I attempt to turn myself away and go into the lounge, I feel two hands grasp tightly onto my chair, attempting and failing to push against the force, I cry out defeatedly.
"Oh would you just let go!" I explode.
"No." Boc replies coldly.
His hands release themselves and I turn around to glare at him.
"Nessa I'm not going anywhere." Boc snaps.
I can't even fathom the words to express how upset I am, I'm not trying to hurt him, I just want to let him forget all of this mess.
"Oh for goodness sake Boc!" I snap "don't you understand?"
A bewildered Boc stares at me.
"I don't want you anywhere near me!"
Boc wipes at his face and then calmly walks upstairs, away from me.
Away from horrible horrible me.

I push myself angrily into the lounge, Glinda follows behind me, dumbfounded.
"Why did you want to do that?" She cries, red faced "that's the love of your life!"
I break down into floods of tears.
"Because all I'm doing is hurting him!" I cry, Glinda steps forward, bends down and hugs me tightly.
"Glinda I just wish he'd forget about me and be happy."

I hold on tightly to Glindas embrace, feeling her shaking with tears too.
"Remember when we were kids," I chuckle "I was so obsessed with being beautiful because I thought that's what I needed to find love."
Glinda sniffs and holds me gently at arms length.
"Nessa you've always been beautiful."
"I've always been pathetic." I reply dryly, we both laugh loudly for a few minutes until reality sets back in.
"Bocs not gone." I whisper shakily. "I wish he was"
Glinda nods.
"He doesn't hate you." She mutters "he'd never hate you"
I know she's right, I just wish he'd meet a lovely munchkin who'd sweep him off his feet, one that wasn't miserable all the time on top of being chronically ill.
"He won't be happy here Glinda, not with me"
Glinda stares at me, I can tell she's almost at a loss for words.
"I think you've made a horrible mistake telling him to go." Glinda mutters, I feel so ashamed. "Nessa he really wants to be by your side through everything, it's beautiful."
I nod, knowing all that I'm giving up, but I don't care, Boc needs to face a chance of a normal life and making him leave was is only way to do that.

"I stand by my words." I respond coldly, Glinda narrows her eyes suspiciously.
"Could you be unwell Nessarose?" Glinda asks calmly, "perhaps you have a temperature or a headache, something that's impairing your judgement because this isn't like you Nessa."
I wait for Glinda to stop squabbling and i finally get my words out.
"I feel fine." I mutter calmly, "I'm not discussing this anymore."
And with that, I turn myself towards the door and go out into the hallway, looking for a room to hide in, all I want is to be alone right now, I just need to be on my own for a while.
I finally find a rather large bedroom, it was supposed to be my room when I became an adult, the room is massive and it has an equally as impressively sized bed.
I hear Glindas footsteps approaching and without thinking I turn around and the door conveniently slams shut.
I take a deep breathe and try to enjoy the silence.