confusifying | wicked | book 3/3

Nessa

My sister sits on her bed, cross legged, I watch as she pulls out a book and carefully begins to read the pages, taking in everything.
I used to be so astounded by this ability of hers to just read for hours at a time.
"I miss father" I croak suddenly, the words practically fall out of my mouth, they're unplanned and unpredicted.
I don't quite think I'm in control of myself, I must just be watching memories again but from a first person view this time.
Upon hearing my voice Elphaba sets her book to one side and scurries over to sit on the floor across from my bed, she smiles softly.
"he'll be back tomorrow Nessie, I promise."
I nod happily, though Inside I'm loathing being called Nessie again.
"Elphaba, I want to sleep," I whimper, starting to cry.
It's unusual, I'm not sad and I don't feel like crying but this 'outside Nessa is so distraught.

My sister scrambled to my bedside and wipes at my tearful face.
"Go go sleep then Nessa, I'll still be here when your asleep."
"I can't!" I wail uncontrollably "I just want to sleep but I can't!"
Elphaba leans over and gives me a tight hug, I wrap my arms tightly around her, screaming into her shoulders.
I hate that I can't stop myself from behaving like this, I know I'm only young but it's most unpleasant to have to relive, I can't imagine how elphaba felt.
"Oh Nessa," I hear my sister sigh sadly.
I'm convinced that my screaming as alerted the staff as Tilly appears in the doorway, she sighs sympathetically and walks slowly towards my sister and I.

Tilly crouches down beside my sister and gently pushes my off of her, she gives Elphaba a nod and she scampers hurriedly out of the room.
Tilly places a hand on the matters next to me and I feebly place mine on top of hers.
My hand is so tiny and pale compared to Tilly's pink fingertips.
"What's the matter Miss?" Tilly asks me gently, she was always my favourite member of staff as she was the one who worked the closest to me, in fact I'm sure father only employed her because she was good with me.
"I can't sleep," I sniff, still not in control of my words.
In fact I'm unsure as to if my movements are my own, it's like I'm sat inside of my brain and I'm just watching through my eyes, not making any decisions or choices, just merely observing.
"I'm sorry you feel so terrible Miss Nessarose," Tilly smiles "feeling under the weather eh?"
I nod sadly, though I'm sure Tilly was well aware of what was wrong with me.
"I'm so tired." I croak.
Tilly places her hand on top of mine, enclosing my tiny little hand between hers.
"I do miss having you about the house" Tilly chuckles, attempting to lift my spirits "your quite the treasure to watch."
I close my eyes for a few seconds, I'm hoping that now little me got some rest and I'm tired too and wish the two of us could get some sleep.

Finally after a rewarding nights sleep I'm awoken by my father creeping into the room, his face changes from that of a concerned parent to that of a loving father when he notices I'm awake.
"My dear little Nessarose." Father says kneeling down beside my bed "the Governors send their well wishes to you, my sweet."
I smile feebly towards my father who seems to find it satisfactory.
"You will tell me if you need anything, right Nessarose?" Father whispers.
I nod, for I'm sure I'm too tired to speak to my father, my body feels heavy and my limbs feel feeble.
"Rest now Nessarose, Doctor said that you have to get out of bed in a few days so enjoy your comfort for now my darling."

It's only just occurred to me that my sister has been awake this whole time, listening into the conversation, I watch her out of the corner of my eyes observing me on my bed from her own.
"I have to go out now Nessarose, but you'll be okay, Tilly will be here if you need anything and I'm sure your sister will be fine to aid you to."
Father kisses me on the forehead and whispers a goodbye as he leaves the room.
Elphaba leaps from her bed upon fathers exit and looks inquisitively towards my chair.
A few moments later Tilly walks in, she notices my sisters gaze immediately.
"You look deep in thought Miss Elphaba." Tilly chuckles.
I really had forgotten how much time Tilly used to spend with us when I was unwell as it happened rather frequently.
Elphaba turns to face Tilly.
"I think it's rather silly." My sister huffs disgustedly "they want Nessa to get out of bed in a few days but she's in no shape to do so."

Tilly sighs at my sisters words and I'm almost sure she wants to exclaim a few profanities.
"Well perhaps the doctors know more than they've told us." Tilly replies widely "the flu is a very common illness."
My sister sits down angrily on her bed a folds her arms, Tilly sits beside her and places a hand upon her shoulder.
"But Nessa isn't like everyone else with the flu, they don't know how what they're doing!" Elphaba cries.
I squirm at the sudden noise, my younger selfs ears apparently are very sensitive.
"I suspect they'll realise if they get your sister out of bed too early." Tilly replies with a far softer tone than my sister just spoke in "it's going to be okay Miss Elphaba, your father wont let them hurt her."

Elphie doesn't make eye contact with Tilly and instead she focuses solely on me, I'm assuming I look very pathetic and sickly for my sister to have such a strong opinion.
"Please get well soon Nessa." My sister whispers.