confusifying | wicked | book 3/3

Nessa

"Nessarose?"
A voice wakes me up, it's masculine and familiar but I can't quite pin point it.
"Nessarose, come here at once!" It cries.
I look around myself, I'm in bed, my head feels like it may fall off and my arm aches but considering what happened.
It could have been worse.
"I can't," I reply sheepishly, unsure of what's happening.
The room looks the same, I'm still in bed, I just can't hear anyone else apart from this voice.
"Don't you want to come and see me?"
I glance around the room another time, unsure of where the voice is even coming from.
"Just take the blanket off." It commands.

I do as I'm told and with my good hand, I throw the blankets off of myself.
"Now what?" I ask blankly, considering the circumstances, I'm surprisingly unafraid.
"Now you get up," the voice responds.
And strangely enough, I do.
Slowly I move my legs until I'm sat up.
I'm sat up without any back support.
This is most unusual.
"Hurry up," the voice cries, sounding impatient "I want to see you."
I get up off of the bed and stand up on the floor.
No shaking or uncertainty, as if I've been standing my whole life.
I look towards the door, it opens a crack, I cautiously walk out into the hallway.
It's dark and cold, at the end of the hallway a light is on.
Inside of my Fathers study.
"Elphaba, is that you?" I call out to no avail.
Slowly I meander down the corridor towards Fathers study.

His desk lamp is on, no other lights are lit.
I stand before the desk, still amazed that I'm walking by I'm concerned about what this means for Boc.
"Take a seat." The voice commands, It seems to bounce off the walls.
I feel compelled to listen.
But before I can't find a seat, I find myself already sat down, in my wheelchair.
The soft red fabric now cushioning my back, which seems to be aching, my underarms doing the same.
As if I've been pushing myself all day.
All of a sudden, the desk light extinguishes, I look around, desperate to see a face in amongst the darkness.
The suddenly the ceiling light turns on, in front of me is a familiar person, the person who's voice I've been hearing.
"F...father!" I gasp, my eyes feel cold and damp.
I'm going to cry.
He leans forward and smiles sympathetically.

"It's been so long," he cries "my beloved daughter, how have you been?"
I don't know what to say, I'm so scared yet comforted at the same time.
"You look tired" he sighs "you shouldn't be taking on so much stress."
I clutch at the arms on my chair.
"And your poor arm." Father whispers "same one as when you were a girl."
He points to my sling, and a tear drops down his cheek.
"If only your sister had perished instead of me," he says coldly "I would have kept you safe, your miserable, you always have been and I wanted to make it better."
I nod my head, I'm astounded by the fact that my Father is before me.
"Your incredible." He smiles tenderly "my little girl, always has been, always will be."
"Father," I mumble "I don't understand why I'm here, am I dead?" I suddenly start to panic.
Perhaps I have died again and now I'm stuck here with him.
"Nonsense!" Father cries "your merely dreaming, you can leave if you want to."

Dreaming?
What if he's right and this is just a dream.
"Nessarose, before you go..." Father says sounding empty "tell me you love me."
I look at father in disbelief.
"I know I've made mistakes and I'm sorry, I know that I've made things worse for you but I never meant to, I understand if you won't tell me."
I suddenly start to shake violently, I shut my eyes tight and hope that it ends.

When I open my eyes again, I'm back in bed, Glinda has her hand on my shoulder.
Was she the one shaking me?
She looks terribly relieved about something.
"Oh Nessa your awake!" She trills. "I thought you were going to sleep forever"
I looks around frantically, the blanket is still on me.
"Nessa it's okay, calm down." Glinda whispers tearfully.
"I don't want to be in bed!" I cry out suddenly.
Glinda looks alarmed but goes and steers my chair over to the side of the bed.
"Sorry," I mumble "I just don't want to spend all weekend on my back."
Though that would be the comfier option, I have to get back into my chair, ready for when I go back to work.
Glinda picks me up carefully and sits me down.
"Where's Elphaba?" I quiz, Glinda looks uncomfortable.
"Talking to Boc." She mumbles.
I've really ruined things with him.
"Boc wanted me to ask you this," Glinda says "when you go back to Shiz, can he come with you?"
"Of course." I answer without hesitation, I don't want to ruined our friendship, I'll just have to find a way of not falling back in love with him.

It shouldn't be too hard, I've got the Halen, I'm sure there's a spell in it somewhere that I can cast on myself.
"Nessa, are you angry with Elphaba?" Glinda asks nervously.
"Frex is." I mumble under my breath.
I cough loudly.
"I don't know, it's been weeks, I decided when I came to talk to her that I'd put it behind me." I reply confidently.
"Are you sure your heads alright?"
I smile emptily.
"I have a crashing headache, but other than that I'm fine." I say wittily "oh and the broken arm, can't forget that."
"Honestly Nessarose!" Glinda laughs "your ridiculous!"
I smile joyously.
"I like to think of it two ways." I announce.
Glinda puts her hands on her hips,
"Oh yeah?" She chuckles "and what are they?"
I tap my sling dramatically and wince with the pain.
"I can either spend my day in tears or I can poke a bit of fun at myself!"