confusifying | wicked | book 3/3

Nessa

"Nessa?"
I look up suddenly, Glinda stands before me.
I jolt backwards, slamming my chair against the wall behind my desk.
"Nessa, is everything alright?" Boc exclaims rushing in from the lounge, he startles too at the sight of Glinda.
"Glinda you nearly gave me a heart attack!" Boc cries,
Glinda tilts her head downwards.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." She mumbles, "Nessa we didn't get to finish our phone call yesterday and I just wanted to see..."
Boc coughs loudly, I'm assuming it's supposed to be a subtle way to tell Glinda to be quiet as to not upset me, but I don't care anymore.

"If I'm alright?" I smile "I'm fine, I'm all good."
Glinda looks unconvinced.
I try harder.
"Glinda I'm perfectly fine, I'm not upset anymore." The more persistent I become, the closer Boc seems to stand to me.
I'm unsure as to why he's doing it.
"Glinda," Boc mumbles, "can I speak to you for a moment."
Boc gestures towards the lounge, Glinda slowly follows him in.
"I'm not a child." I snap suddenly, they both stop and turn to me. "You don't need to have a secret conversation about me being upset."
Boc steps towards me awkwardly, whilst Glinda does the opposite, she teeters backwards and places a hand on my office door.

Suddenly, it's thrown open, Glinda stumbles forwards.
My sister rushes in.
"Elphaba!" Glinda hisses "you were supposed to stay outside."
Elphaba places both hands into my desk and leans over at me.
"Nessa I know you want space but I can't do this anymore!" My sister cries "I'm sorry, I need you to not be angry at me."
I'm flabbergasted, I don't know how to react, if I say anything I might just start to cry.
"I... I don't want you to get worse!" Elphaba blurts our to fill the silence, she quickly covers her mouth, Glinda gasps loudly.
"What do you mean, worse?" I pry.
Elphaba shakes her head then starts to cry, she sits down dramatically onto the chair in front of my desk.
"Father said your sick! He said you've always been incurribly unhappy and..."
I slam my hands down.
"Elphaba shut up!" I bark, "I don't want to hear it, maybe I shouldn't have taken this job, maybe we aren't supposed to be friends and maybe you should have left me under that house!"
Everyone goes silent, I start to cry, loud drawn out sobs.

"We both hated him, we blamed him" I whimper "I can't blame other people for my decisions, I hurt everyone!"
Elphaba looks at me, her stature shaking.
"Nessa, I never meant to hurt you, Nessa but what he said is true, your not well!" She cries.
"Elphaba stop it," Boc barks suddenly, I meet his gaze for a second before I cower away.
"I don't get it, out of everyone I hurt you the most, why are you here?" I question tearfully.
Elphaba looks sternly at Boc, Glinda looks around anxiously.
"Because I love you."
Boc words ring in my ears, the whole world goes silent.
Tears slowly drip down my face, I reach a hand up and gently wipe them away.
They are gone momentarily before being replaced by newer sadder tears.
I don't know how to comprehend any of this.
I open my mouth to speak when suddenly that searing pain cuts through my side.
I wail loudly.
"Nessa!" Elphaba cries "Nessa are you okay?"
I sit, hunched over, unsure of what to do.
I straighten myself out and glare at the room.
"Elphaba, we shouldn't see each other for a while." I say coldly, Elphaba starts to cry.
"No!" She screams "no Nessa you can't, your my sister, I need you, your not well!"
Glinda gently eases Elphaba out of her chair, Elphie fights against it for a while but then stops and gives in.

"Boc," I whisper, he turns to me hopefully, "I'm sorry, you can't stay here anymore."
"Nessa, I didn't mean..." he mumbles "I...I understand."
Elphaba and Boc leave together.
Glinda walks around the back of my desk and throws her arms around me.
I hold her back.
"Have I made a mistake?" I ask, "have I ruined everything?"
I fill Glindas head shake.
"Nessa take the time that you need," she replies calmly.
"I didn't want to know, I didn't want to know the things that my father said," I sob "it just makes it more real."
Glinda leans back gently and cups my face in her hands.
"If Elphabas right..."
"Glinda!" I mumble trying to gee her to stop talking.
"If Elphaba is right and you aren't well, you've obviously been sick for as long as you can remember, look how far you've come Nessa."
I smile meekly.

"Glinda you don't need to talk all sweetly to me, I'm not a child, I understand life."
Glinda chuckles,
"Sorry, you still look so young, I forget sometimes that your a woman."
"Eighteen." I whisper "I died when I was eighteen."
Glinda looks around herself anxiously.
"What about what Boc said, how do you feel about that?"
"You should leave." I snap suddenly,
"Nessa..." Glinda sighs, looking hurt.
"I told everyone else that they had to leave." I reply blankly "I think I need to be alone."
Glinda stands up, she gracefully brushes her skirt down.
"You were dead for two years," Glinda says shakily "I knew you were gone and I believed that I'd watched Elphaba die in front of me."
Glinda takes a deep breath, tears roll down her cheeks, I don't interrupt her.
"Every day for those two years, I stood by the crumbling farm house and I cried, Elphaba had accepted her death before it happened, but the world was cruel to you, your life was taken." Glinda takes a step towards me "Nessa I believed you and your sister were dead for two years and for those two years I had to give speech after speech telling the munchkins of my friendship to the witches, West and East. We weren't really friends, I was too scared of your sister to try and talk to you, people felt sorry for you because Elphaba was your sister."
I clench my fists, longing not to break down and cry.

"For those two years I blamed myself, because it was my fault, I told Madame Morrible that the way to your sister was through you, and it was. You died and she came, she came and she cried too, the saddest of ever seen her, she had failed the only thing she had ever cared about, your sister is a selfless person, she didn't speak to your father to try and hurt you, she wanted justice for you but as you well known there are two sides to every story."
I can't help it, I'm crying.
Glinda curtsies and opens the door gently.
"Goodbye Nessarose, I hope to see you soon."