confusifying | wicked | book 3/3

Elphie

"It's probably for the best that you missed dinner," I sigh humorously "Fiyero burnt the meat."
Nessa sighs at looks up at me, she looks so small surrounded but fluffy pillows, though that bed does look comfy.
"I've made a right spectacle of myself," Ness sighs.
Even after just fainting she still speaks incredibly formally.
"It's alright Ness." I mumble.
Nessa looks towards the door.
"Mother and Albert left." I add,
Nessa sighs and looks at me forlornly.
"Do you think Glinda is happy?" Nessa asks curiously.
"I doubt it,"
Nessa nods.
"Munchkin Land seems happier with her in the Emerald City."

Nessa stops talking and for I while I assume that she's asleep.
"Do you think I can die?" Nessa asks quietly, her voice is shaky and tearful.
My heart stops as she says that, why would she want to know that?
"Mother, Boc and I, we've all died and come back, do you think we can die again?"
"Nessa, why do you want to know?" I question.
She smiles to herself,
"Because I don't want to live without you." She sobs suddenly breaking down into tears. "We don't know anything about resurrection, we just did it."
She's right but I'm desperate to end this conversation about death.

"Nessa," I mumble, trying very unsubtly to change the subject "how are you feeling?"
She looks towards the door.
"Doesn't really matter," She whispers shakily, "it will be fine in a few days"
I've somehow made the conversation even more dismal.
I try for a final time.
"I'm not sure what you and Boc were talking about, but we had to practically hold him down to stop him from coming in and waking you up,"
Nessas eyes widen, she scrambled around with her arms and painfully pulls herself up so she's leaning against the headboard.
"Boc wanted to see me?" She exclaims "is he still here?"
I rush to Nessas bedside, I hover next to her, placing a hand on to her shoulder.
"Yes, do you want me to get him?" I reply, happy that she seems to have the energy to sit up.
"Please," she calls, I'm practically out the door onto the landing, "tell him to bring my book."
I stand out by the banister and stare down at the large staircase, every time I look at it I feel a bit sick, bombarded with the memories of seeing my sisters limp, unconscious body lying at the bottom of it.
"Boc," I shout downstairs "Nessa wants you and she says to fetch her book."

After a few minutes, Boc emerges in the room, by this time I've already put Nessa back into her chair.
Bic Hands her the book and she carefully placed it onto her lap, I watch as she slides her finger in between the pages.
"Are you feeling better?" Boc asks frantically, "I shouldn't have pushed for answers, I get it. I understand, I'm just glad your okay."
Boc has more patience than I give him credit for, he's gladly accepted a loveless existence with Nessa.
I think it's very admirable.
"It's not your fault Boc," Nessa says shyly "don't blame yourself please."
Boc nods but I can still hear his thoughts ringing in his head, he feels insanely guilty and yet I don't really know what he did.
Abruptly, Boc turns to me.
"Thank you for having me round for dinner," he hums, turning back to my sister. "You will tell me if you need anything, right?"
Nessa smiles, she continues to slide her finger into the pages of the closed book, drumming her fingers against her arm rest with the other hand.
"That's sweet, but I'm sure for the most part I'll be able to get what I need." Nessa replies, sounding put off by Boc assuming she would need any help.

Nessa looks down at the cover of the Halen, she seems to examine every crease, each line, the way it curves and shapes the dusty book.
Boc seems encapsulated with my sister, his eyes carefully follow the subtle movements of her head.
Boc carefully gazed at Nessa, his eyes a soft and loving.
As I've thought many times, Boc has really given himself such a cruel reality, one that Nessa herself has faced.
He is in love with someone who refuses to succumb to the emotion.
In doing so, Nessa is also subjecting herself to a cruel and empty world.
It's disheartening to see.
But if also makes me very glad, I know that Nessa will always have someone with her, whom she (hopefully) will never grow tired of.
I know that Nessa has most definitely grown tired of me, but I'm okay with that as she still allows me to take care of her when she needs it.

Suddenly Nessa throws open the Halen, a small gust of wind flutters the pages.
Nessa violently pushes herself backwards, she begins to cry.
Boc and I both lock eyes, neither of us are aware of whats happening.
Nessa looks about the room and fixates her eyes on us.
Boc takes a small, hesitant step towards her.
"I'm sorry," Nessa sobs, trying her hardest to focus her eyes onto the book "I simply can't do this anymore!"
I dread the worst.
Nessa seizes the book with both hands and in a shaky uncertain voice, she begins to recite from the book.
My heart stops, I'm terrified of what the spell means.
It's unintelligible to me.

I do the only thing I can think of, I rush out of the door and scream my lungs raw, calling out for Fiyero.
He charges up the stairs and stands rigid at the door.
Boc is frozen in place, there's no stopping Nessa, she's well into her spell.
There's a loud thudding sound, large amounts of black smoke behind to appear around the base of Nessas wheelchair, Nessa continues to read with tears in her eyes.
Until after a while, the smoke has completely engulfed my sister.
In an instant it's gone, my sisters chair topples violently onto the floor but Nessa is nowhere in sight.
"Nessa!" I call frantically rushing to the fallen chair, "Nessa!"
My heart beats out of my chest.
I'm absolutely terrified.