confusifying | wicked | book 3/3

Nessa

Something smells wonderful, a marvellous smell that resides in my nose, I push myself towards it.
Down the hallway and into the study.
I finally find the location of the beautiful fragrance.
On top of my fathers desk is a lovey botanical arrangement is sat upon the desk, wonderful pinks, purples and vibrant greens adorn the bouquet and sat behind it is my father.
"Nessarose!" He cries warmly, I'm rather startled to say the least.
"Father I thought you left." I whisper monotonously.
My father pushes the flowers out of my eyesight so I can get a better look at him.
Still the same man, still my father.
"I'm not back." He replies, I'm confused beyond belief. "This time it is you who's visiting me."
I look around myself confused.
"But I'm not asleep." I reply "I never went to sleep!"
Father closes his eyes and takes a deep breathe.
"My dear sweet Nessarose." Father whispers "your are such a treasure, it's good to see you again."
I continue to look around frantically, until father grabs my shoulders to stop me.
"Nessarose, please relax, I'm sure we're going to be here a little while, try not to stress."

A little while?
What does that mean?
I don't remember going to sleep, in fact I'm sure I didn't but I must have, I must be asleep because my father is gone and this has to be a dream.
"I have missed you so Nessarose." Father whispers "every hour of every day."
I feel myself blush, father smiles gently.
"I wish I was by your side when you were governor, it would have been fine if I hadn't passed too soon, I failed you daughter and I'm sorry."
"Father please." I cry "no not remind me of your passing, I do not wish to relive it."
Frex nods calmly his head and gazes lovingly at me.
I love him so much, I don't care what my sister says.

"I don't understand how I'm with you again." I mutter to myself, though my father seems to hear it.
After a moments pause, my father looks at me, his eyes are worried and his face is creased.
I'm slightly on edge, all of this is so confusing.
"What is it?" I ask fearfully.
Father adjusts his robes and clutches my hands in his.
"Nessarose, my dear sweet Nessarose, you feel so cold."
Cold?
I'm not cold.
"Father" I chuckle "what are you talking about?"
He clears his throat and stands up, carefully strolling around to the side of the desk I'm sat by.
My father looks as my sorrowfully, I'm getting the feeling that something is wrong but I'm unsure as to what it is.
"Come with me," he commands suddenly, gesturing out the study and into the hallway "to the balcony."

I follow my father cautiously all the way onto the balcony, taking in the air and the beautiful snow but oddly enough I have this strange feeling running through me.
Tears stream down my cheeks and my father rushes to console me.
"Nessarose what's wrong?"
"I don't know I just feel like I've been here before..." I cry frantically, my words losing themselves in my throat, before my father has time to respond there's a flash.
Everything disappears momentarily and when I can see again I'm not on the balcony anymore.
I'm in a school, my first school.
The carpet is a dull green colour and the walls are littered with artwork by students, none of it particularly exemplary.
The school bell rings as children flood the classroom, looking eagerly towards the door, until finally a young happy looking girl arrives in her wheelchair followed by her green sister unsteadily carrying an immense amount of books.
I look around myself, my father is nowhere to be seen.
"Nessarose come and sit with me!" Many occupants of the class chorus, in an instant, my sister is stood in front of me protectively, whilst still juggling all her books.
Another flash, and all I can see is my father, looking a lot younger than he is now, cradling a small infant in his tense arms.
"Melena your beautiful daughter has been born" my father sobs at the baby "and we named her Nessarose, just for you."
Another flash, I'm in my childhood room, young me is on her bed, I look deathly.
Elphaba rushes in to talk to me, her hair in beautiful braids.
"Hi Nessa." Elphaba whispers "fathers asked me to ask you if you would like to come downstairs for dinner" her tiny voice cracks slightly as she's talking to me.
I watch myself blink slowly and shut my eyes shakily.
"Umm I see." Elphaba mumbles "I'll tell father that you don't feel well enough."
Elphaba scampers out of the room and tears fill my eyes as I begin to watch myself cough, splitter and sob and then, a final flash and I scream, all of a sudden it all stops as my father has dragged me away from the balcony and back inside.

"I don't understand!" I cry, gasping for breath "what's happening, why can't I wake up!"
Father puts his hands on my shoulders, stroking them gently.
"Nessarose calm down," he whispers "please."
I shake my head, alarmed by his calamity.
"No, no!" I explode "I don't want to be here anymore, I want to see my sister and my family."
"Don't you speak of that eyesore!" Father barks, he retracts his hands from my shoulders and stands up, scowling at me. "They're not your family, I'm your family! I am your father."
I stare at my father his face contorted with rage and hat, I exit the room as fast as I can and race down the hallway away from him.
Father soon catches up.
"Nessarose!" He cries "Nessarose I'm sorry, I shouldn't have raised my voice at you my sweet."
Father and I lock eyes, he takes an uneasy step towards him.
"I want to see my family."