confusifying | wicked | book 3/3

Elphie

"Mother!" I cry, flinging my suitcase to the ground and clutching the Grimmere tightly before setting it down on a side table. "Mother, Albert, Fiyero?"
"Elphaba?" I familiar voice cries from behind me, I turn around excitedly relishing in the sight of my husband before dashing over and throwing myself into is open arms.
"Fiyero." I whisper tearfully "I've missed you dearly."
My husband holds me at arms length and looks at me gently, his soft gaze making it hard for me not to cry.
"How's Nessarose?" Fiyero asks anxiously.
I roll the answer around on my tongue for a while before I finally answer.
"Content for now." I answer hesitantly "theres a woman staying with her, Marigold, she's a nurse and she's getting under my skin."
Fiyero chuckles and lifts my face towards his with a steady hand.
"What's this nurse doing then?" Fiyero questions.
"My sister hates me and loves her" I grumble.
Fiyero chuckles.
"Nessarose doesn't hate you." He counters reassuringly.
I sigh sadly, tilting my head down.
"She's just so miserable all the time and yet Marigold seems to know exactly what to do!" I cry.
"Nessarose is constantly getting sick, if it were me, I'd be miserable too." My husband remarks.

"What about Nessarose?"
I hear my mother croak from behind me, I turn around to see my mother leaning shakily against the doorframe, her eyes look sunken and she just seems exhausted.
"Melena." Albert soon joins us all out in the hallway as he quickly catches up to my mother and places an arm around her.
She look so exhausted.
Albert makes hesitant eye contact with me.
"I must speak with you Elphaba." He says ominously.
I nod politely and turn back to my husband,
"Would you go and pack Nessarose some more clothes for me dear?"
My husband obliges and takes my suitcase and walks away upstairs.
I turn to my mother and Albert.
"Shall we go to the lounge?" I ask forcefully.
Albert nods and attempts to guide my mother back inside the lounge but she shakes his hands off of her and marches ahead, I watch as she collapses into an armchair.
I remain standing and Albert perched beside my mother on the sofa.
"How's my Nessarose?" Mother asks wearily, Albert pats her gently on the hand.

"Nessa is settling in well and Is having a rest for a few days, the carriage ride was quite tiresome." I reply.
Mother looks at me hopefully.
"Can I see her?" She asks slowly, she seems to fall asleep for a moment but suddenly shakes herself awake.
"Mother." I reply sadly, "I'm going back tomorrow, you're welcome to join me if you would like."
Mother smiles, the first smile I've seen since I've arrived, as she looks at me hopefully.
"You have to sleep well tonight though." I command "if your not well rested I shan't be taking you."
Mother scowls at me and then turns to Albert who is still patting her hand gently, rhythmically and lovingly.
"I think I should go to sleep now." Mother whispers.
Albert leads her out of the lounge and leaves me alone with my thoughts for a few moments.
Mother looks awful, this is just what worrying for Nessarose does to a person.

Albert returns after a few minutes, he sits down upon the sofa and places his head in his hands.
"Your mother hasn't been sleeping well." He comments anxiously "I think she feels that she's not doing enough for your sister."
I nod silently, I've not got many words, I know I'm only coming back to bring mother to Nessa for selfish reasons.
I want her to get Marigold out of my way for a while.
It should be me tending to Nessa, that's the way it should be.
But I can't just let my mother stew at home like this, it's just not right.
"How have you been, Albert?"
He looks up at me, as if I've said a word in an incomprehensible language.
Albert stares for a few seconds before answering me hesitantly.
"In quite alright Elphaba, don't you worry about me."
I'm unconvinced by his answer but I don't pressure him for information and the two of us sit in a strained silence.

I'm starting to worry less about my mother and more on what her impact on Nessarose is going to be, Nessa hates unannounced guests and doctor Tip says that it's best to keep Nessa as stress free as possible for as long as we are able to.
I fear that if our mother isn't able to pull herself together, then she will just overload Nessa with stress.
However a part of me needs mother to hate marigold for being so close to Nessa so I'm not being cruel and hateful alone.
I probably am.
It concerns me the state that our mother had managed to get herself into because I fear that Nessa may never come home and I hate to think of myself here and her all the way in the emerald city without me.
Nessarose needs me, she always has.
Even as a child I hated to be at school when I knew Nessarose was at home and that anxiety only grew after her accident on the stairs, I feared that I'd come home and something terrible would have happened to her and I'd never be able to forgive myself.

Caring about my sister is encapsulating, she does it to everyone, she's just such a memorable and lovely person that she makes everyone think of her constantly and then they start to fret and worry of her all the time.
Nessa doesn't mean to do that to people, it just happens and she hates it, I wish I could stop for her sake but I don't think I'd be happy if I wasn't as involved in my sisters life.
It makes me feel like I have a proper purpose in my life, caring for her gives me a role.
And I'm eternally grateful.