confusifying | wicked | book 3/3

Elphie

My sisters sleeping face just looks so peaceful, I'm still slightly concerned as to why she got so panicked earlier.
Sure I feel, but it's not that big of a deal, I'm fine.
I'm worried though, Nessa may have brushed away the things said earlier I don't think she's unbothered by it.
In fact I think it's quite the opposite.
"Twisty legged girl." I mutter to myself.
"Keep your voice down." Glinda snaps, far louder than me, Nessa stirs slights by she doesn't wake.
Glinda and I stare at each other before Boc decides to break the awkward silence.
"If we all stop harping on about it we can move past it." Boc grumbles, obviously guilty for being the once to announce it to the room "I'm sure the old king meant no ill will."
Glinda nods in a hesitant agreement.
I look back towards my sleeping sister, recently seeing her asleep has become somewhat of a relief to me and I thank the stars for when she isnt awake.
It riddles me with guilt to think that way but with how her health has been lately, knowing that she's asleep and safe is quite a comfort.
Her breathing is more regulated too, I've come to notice how rhythmless Nessas breathing is when she's awake, she either takes little gasps of air constantly or she'll draw one long breath and just hold it for far too long for her own good.

"About four more hours." Glinda announces, I'm skeptical to the fact that it's been five hours already but time could be feeling slow but moving fast, I don't really know.
Nessa stirs in her sleep, this time jolting herself awake and opening her eyes in a panicked frenzy.
I lean back on the matters and lie beside her as I hadn't moved from the corner of the matters during her entire nap.
"Ness, Nessa are you alright?" I whisper, she turns her face towards me and nods but I can tell something has bothered her.
Boc and Glinda don't seem to have taken any notice to Nessas alarmed state, instead the two of them are bickering about something whilst staring out of the window.
I reach my hand over and interlock it with my sisters, she turns her head to face me, her eyes wide like diner plates.
"I'm scared." She whispers quietly.
I nod calmly, giving my sisters hand a gentle squeeze.
"I know" I whisper back, smiling gently "and that's perfectly okay."
Nessa swallows hard, closes her eyes momentarily and then looks at me, her face is ever so slightly calmer.
"This is a big change."
"You've had bigger." I reply reassuringly.
Nessa scowls at me.
"This could affect everyone in Oz Elphaba, everything will be my call to make and I'm not sure I'm ready for that."

If I'm brutally honest, I'm not sure Nessa is ready for that either.
She's more than intelligent enough but I fear for her health and well-being above all else, though I know she's desperate to make a difference.
"In what sense aren't you ready?" I ask calmly.
"I'm not a well woman Elphaba." My sister responds tearfully "I don't understand how I'm supposed to take care of Oz when I need round the clock care whenever I catch a cold."
Nessa trembles, her fingers are now tightly interlocked within mine.
"You won't be alone." I promise my sister "I'll always be there for you, I'll never let you go through anything alone."
Nessa let's a single tear roll down her face.
"Boc will be with you every step of the way too, you can do this." I continue. "Make yourself proud."

Nessarose leans her head onto my shoulder and the two of us lay there beside each other in silence, it doesn't take me along to realise that she's fallen back asleep again, lulled to sleep my the gentle clatter of the carriage wheels.
Her hand is still firmly entwined with mine and her head firmly pressed upon my shoulder.
I used to do this a lot when we were children, when Nessa was very young, usually after she'd had a hospital or doctors visit, she'd have horrible night terrors and would wake up bawling her eyes out.
She would usually cry out for father but depending on where in the manor he was, he wouldn't be able to hear my sisters cries, so I would get out of my bed, clamber into hers and lay next to her until she fell back asleep.
But I'd have to sacrifice my own sleep if we did that as I knew if father found me in her bed he'd be ever so cross with me because he would be terrified that I'd hurt my sister whisky laying next to her.
I understood his fear though and I was willing to give up my sleep to prevent this from happening.

"Are you two both asleep?" Glinda chuckles, miraculously maintaining her voice at a whisper.
"Nessa is, I'm not." I answer softly, though I didn't need to announce that I wasn't asleep as I feel me answering the question was quite self explanatory.
"Poor thing, Nessarose is so tired" Glinda remarks "I hope she's well rested when we reach the Gilliking country."
Boc clears his throat and all talking between Glinda and I seises, waiting for Boc to say something important but instead he just sits in silence waiting for us to resume our conversations.
"I'm sure she will be," I reply, I gently trace the outside of my sisters hand with my thumb. "Much like you Glinda, she's always had a knack for public relations."
My words are true, despite being phrased rather sarcastically, everyone's always loved Nessa and that seems to spread to anyone she meets and since the old Gilliking king seems to remember her fondly, I feel the current king will enjoy her company too.
"The ex king seemed quite fond." Boc remarks, practically stealing the words from my head, though his words are optimistic, his delivery is much more aggressive and angry.