confusifying | wicked | book 3/3

Nessa

Tip left.

Tip left without a word of goodbye.
I think I've been a terrible person.
Everyone is crowded around my bed, everyone except Boc and it's starting to worry me.
He's stood so close to the door and he keeps leaving the room for short moments at a time and my mind is running rampant trying to work out what he could be doing.
Marigold is sat on the chair beside my bed, she had my left hand in hers and is holding it gently, I feel slightly childish holding an old woman's hand but at the same time it's rather comforting.
Elphaba and Glinda are sat on the window seat and yet again Boc has disappeared out of the room, only to return a moment later.
We lock eyes awkwardly but he says nothing.

Before he's barley been back a moment he dashes out again.
"where does he keep going?" I cry, Marigold squeezes my hand tightly, perhaps telling me to calm down slightly.
"Sorry Nessa I'm none the wiser." Glinda replies unhelpfully and my sister doesn't even answer as she seems lost in thought.
Boc reappears a moment later, still refusing to come away from the door.
"Are you alright Boc?" Glinda asks awkwardly.
Boc clears his throat aggressively.
"I'm good." He replies obscurely and we all seem to ignore his periodic absences for now.
As the day continues, I'm beginning to question why I haven't had to do anything entirely unusual yet as eminence.
Everything I've done this far is fairly standard and I was doing it anyway as governor.
I've decided that I'm going to address the citizens of the emerald city soon as I feel they are my closest subjects.
Though each faction has their own flaws, including the emerald city.

I'm getting increasingly more bored as time goes on, Glinda and Marigold have started to converse between themselves age my sister has moved closer to my bed.
Boc, at this current moment of time, has dashed out the room again much to my confusion.
"I feel as though I aught to be doing something." I mutter anxiously "I've barely done anything for anyone."
Glinda stops chatting and turns to me, noticing the fear in my voice.
"Nessa it's alright" Glinda replies with an unusually motherly tone, "you don't have to be doing things straight away, you have the whole of Oz on your shoulders, you simply being a mediator is enough."
She's right, the whole of Oz will be looking to me.
I need to start looking more presentable, more regal and just overall more powerful.
I'm so tired of people seeing me at my worst.
Marigold taps my hand reassuringly.
"Your doing enough." She whispers sweetly.
The room falls silent again until Boc reappears, closing the door behind him anxiously.
"Boc, where on earth do you keep going?" I ask impatiently, I'm starting to wish he was stood next to me.
Boc looks around awkwardly.
"Nowhere." He replies, void of any usefulness.
I glance angrily at Glinda who rolls her eyes at Boc.
I'm just so desperate for Boc to be by my side.
It's times like these when I really really need him.

After some time, I take my hand out of Marigolds grasp and lay it neatly upon my lap, placing  the other hand on top of it.
I'm growing increasingly more exhausted by the minute and am hoping to be able to sleep soon but I'm kept awake by my inner thoughts.
What am I doing?
I shouldn't be a leader on this type of scale!
This hardly feels real and it still hasn't fully sunken in yet that this is what's happening, I am the eminence of Oz.
The door shuts again and unsurprisingly, Boc has dashed out again.
"Where's the young lad going?" Marigold asks sweetly, probably on my behalf.
My sister looks at me, analysing my facial expression.
"I'm not sure." Glinda replies, staring towards the door, she turns her head to Elphaba. "Should I be going to check on him?"
Elphaba looks at the door, as if looking at it would make Boc reappear.
"Why not!" She exclaims, turning to Glinda who happily gets up and ventures out the room.

Bocs absence has done more than unsettle me, now I'm staring to worry terribly that if I've done something wrong.
Though perhaps it's just my imagination but there's always the chance that this is all my fault.
"Elphaba, have I upset him?" I ask shakily.
My sister seems lost in thought at first and jumps slightly at my voice.
"No Ness of course not!" She cries, locking eyes with Marigold and strangely enough, not me.
"Your sisters right." Marigold whispers "the boy is just being difficult, leave him be and he'll be alright."
I nod happily though I find the advice useless, if people followed that advice with me then I think I'd be dead.
I've started to become most exhausted and I'm desperate to fall asleep for a while but I can feel Marigold watching me attentively, and despite her being the sweetest soul, it's making me most uncomfortable just knowing that she's watching me breathe.
My sister, however, is doing the opposite and avoiding eye contact with me.
Perhaps she can sense my fatigue or maybe she's just fed up with me being quite so worried about Boc.
I clear my throat to gain everyone's attention.
"Would you all mind leaving?" I ask gently "I'd really like to go to sleep for a little while."
Almost instantaneously, everyone starts pouring out of my room like blood from a wound and in an instant, I'm alone with my thoughts.
Everything seems significantly more peaceful now that I'm alone and I finally feel like I've got the time to sleep and truly think over my new status in Oz.
However, sleep always has a way of taking fond of me very quickly, without so much as a warning I feel my eyes begin to close and the fatigue creep in.