[曦澄 | XiCheng]: The Fear Of Falling In Love [~PART 1~]

[23.] The hollow underneath your heart.

Jiang Cheng woke up in the master bedroom, feeling extremely dizzy. The good rest the previous day, and the adrenaline from last night had given him energy to start his day, but now he was crashing miserably, barely able to move his head even.

He mumbled:

- Oh dammit!

Moving his head was not a good idea, as his head hurt too. The room was warm and dark, but he knew it was still daytime – his husband had instructed the servants to make it as comfortable for him as possible.

His husband... 

 He remembered, and his eyes filled up with tears. He missed him so much... And today, when he got so angry with him  –   he should have known it was a test. Lan Xichen had always been so good to him... 

The Gusu Clan disciples had secretly told him that he had been so badly wounded during the last hunt that no one could heal him; the curse that had hit his chest had been vicious, and had it not been for Zewu-Jun and his exceptionally strong magic... they just shook their heads, but he knew – he would most probably be dead right now.

His husband had saved his life.

He turned in the bed, although his stomach turned too, and sobs shook his whole body. He hated being so weak, he hated the sudden mood changes, the impulsive outbursts, the pains trapped inside his body that no medicinal tea could soothe. Back at home, Wei Wuxian and Jiang Yanli had used to take care of him before, but now he was married off, he had to be a burden for his husband. 

He feared he was even ruining his birthday that was approaching very soon.

He sighed deeply and suddenly wondered what it might feel like to be pregnant with his child... 

How happy would he be  –   a man who was so gentle and caring? He was thinking dreamily that it was impossible to find anyone who'd be a better father. His heart ached – in times like these, in his weakness, he was craving for a baby. He felt his body so empty that it hurt, it hurt physically.

- Wanyin? Are you awake, sweetheart?  –  Lan Huan peeked at the door after a light knock, afraid to disturb him.

- Yes, Zewu-Jun.  –   he said quietly.

Lan Xichen turned back and gave some instructions to a servant who soon came back with water and tea, and some sweet cakes that she left on the table, leaving them quickly.

Lan Huan was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at his husband with worry and care   –   he could clearly see that he had been crying again.

- Can you forgive me, my little one? I never knew I'd upset you so much... Oh, Wanyin! I am so sorry! – he said sadly.

Jiang Wanyin looked at him incredulously   –  he was blaming himself for all of it? He was on the brink of tears again, but then he remembered that he was supposed to be mad at him, and swallowed hard.

- I want my kiss, Zewu-Jun. You can't deny me my kiss. You are mine now too.  –   he said boldly.

- Oh, Gods! – the Lan Clan's Leader moaned. – How beautiful you are... how hot... Do you know how much I yearn for you every minute of every single day, Jiang Wanyin? Ever since I saw you naked for the first time... you are all I can think about... Uhhh...Husband! I need, I want to be kissing you... constantly!!!  Wanyin!

Jiang Cheng turned carefully to lie on his back, wincing at the pain that was cutting him in half, but swallowed and said faintly:

- Is this a love confession, husband? Do you really love me? Or... just like you said... do you just want to fuck me?