[曦澄 | XiCheng]: The Fear Of Falling In Love [~PART 1~]

[12.] On parents and children.

NOTE:

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Jiang Cheng buried his face in his chest and sobbed. The strong arms were holding him tight and he was pressing himself against Lan Xichen's lap  –  it was the first time they were touching so intimately. He kissed his neck softly and whispered there:

- I don't deserve to be so happy... I don't deserve to be so blessed... You deserve someone better, Zewu-Jun... If you decide to take a wife, or a mistress – I won't mind...  -  he sobbed, too upset to care any more.

- Why would I want that, silly? –  he was stroking his hair gently, holding him and trying to calm him down.

- I thought... I thought... You preferred women, Zewu-Jun.  -  Jiang Wanyin mumbled.

- I prefer those who are gentle with me, who support me, understand me. Why are you giving up on us so easily, Sandu Shengshou?  –  he smiled as his hands were now working to undo Jiang Wanyin's hair so that he could help him wash it.

- I thought... an heir to the Clan... I thought you wanted a child...  -  Jiang Cheng was blushing desperately, hiding his face in the smooth skin, too ashamed to look up.

- Can you give me a child, Wanyin? –  Lan Xichen lifted his chin up again, forcing him to face him again.

- Yes. – he nodded shyly. – I can try.

- Then why would I want a woman at all, my darling?  –  Lan Huan laughed at how worried he was.

- Well... It's one thing for the heir to be born by a woman, and another by a...  -  he could not go on, burning with shame.

- A child that's mine is mine. Isn't that so, Sandu Shengshou?

- I... I don't know...  -  Jiang Cheng gave up.

- You look so pretty with your hair down, husband... -  he purred, pressing him to his chest again, holding him tight.

- I ... I didn't know... -  he said, confused, but smiled at the childish joy on his husband's face now.

- Will you sleep next to me tonight, husband...? –  Lan Xichen hid his face in his neck, licking over an artery that was throbbing under the skin, and inhaling deeply.

- Yes... Yes, please, Zewu- Jun.  -  Sandu Shengshou whimpered.

- Naked? –  he growled, kissing and licking some more, his arms enveloping him again.

- Yes... -  Jiang Cheng felt weak.

- No more jealousy?

- Yes...

- And no more women?

- Yes... No more.  –  he murmured.

They finished with the bath, and dried their hair, and went to bed together. 

It was a warm night of hugs and kisses, and exploring. Lan Huan let his husband kiss him all over – it was very clear that he was doing it for the first time ever, but he did it so gently that it sent shivers down his spine. And Sandu Shengshou let his husband explore his body, kissing him and licking him all the time, but only daring do so much. Lan Huan knew that he had to take things slow  -  Jiang Cheng was on the verge of breaking, his anguish and sorrow were too great.

He watched him fall asleep, cuddling into him, squeezing him tight, as if afraid that he'd run away any minute now. 

Lan Xichen was smiling. It was so nice to be so loved.