[曦澄 | XiCheng]: The Fear Of Falling In Love [~PART 1~]

[99.] Transgressions. [TW]

NOTE:

Trigger Warning

***

The next couple of days were lonely; Jiang Wanyin would shun absolutely everybody. Zewu-Jun was spending the days in discussions and arguments with Lan Wangji, and sometimes they would raise their voices so much, fighting, that they could be heard even outside of the study. All the servants and disciples were worried and nervous, and there was uneasy silence and tension all over the Cloud Recesses.

Hanguang-Jun declared that immediate actions should be taken, retaliation should be sought out and revenge should be executed right away. He argued that the pride and honor of the whole Clan was at stake, and he was right.

Zewu-Jun argued that the moment was just wrong, for too many reasons. He was pointing out that he would not make their children hostages to military actions and operations  –  they needed their fathers now, and fully. The risk was too great, too many innocent lives were to be sacrificed if the snowball of war was to roll free. He was right too. 

In the end, the final decision was his.

There was no consensus, and the strain in the relationship between the two brothers was tangible. Mealtimes were almost torture now, as everybody strived to be polite, but quarrels would inevitably blow up, making Wei Wuxian sad, and Jiang Cheng  -  stressed out.

This stress got its natural expression in severe insomnia. No matter what they tried out  –  he could not sleep; no tea and no potions would help. Often Zewu-Jun would go to bed frowning, angry, keeping to himself, keeping silent about too many things. Jiang Wanyin was alone, and cold, missing him terribly. He would spend most of his nights crying, and in the mornings he would barely be able to leave the bed. Lan Xichen was focusing on the bigger picture, and those small details were lost to him.


***


The month rolled out too quickly, and, as promised, the doctor came again for the check-up  – this time for both Masters. It was Jiang Cheng's turn first, and he got undressed shyly, as Zewu-Jun was in the room too; it had been too long since he had seen him naked.

The physician was asking the same questions and frowning at Jiang Wanyin's complaints, and pleas for some medicine to help him sleep.

- Master, I can't do that. Such medicine would be poison for your child.  –  he said sternly, and Jiang Wanyin bit his lip.  –  You just need peace and quiet. No stress, no worries, and a lot of rest and strong food. Are you getting those?

Jiang Cheng looked away, flushed.

- Yes. Of course.  –  he mumbled.

- Good. I am glad to hear that. After what happened last month, you should be extremely careful –  in case of a situation that is too straining  –  you could lose this baby too. And as you are in your 4th month now  –  this may hold risk for your health and your life too! This is serious.

Lan Xichen was listening to all this, growing paler and paler.

- The good news is that your general condition is fine  –  I see you are starting to show slightly. Next month we should be able to hear some heartbeat too, and you will start feeling some faint fluttering. Women patients tell me that it is a great joy, Master.  –  the doctor stroked his beard thoughtfully.

Jiang Cheng turned his face to the side, trying to hide his tears, curling up, hugging his belly, and forgetting he had to get dressed. 

The doctor was not too happy to see this, but turned to Zewu-Jun and said:

- Let's take a look at you now, Master Lan.

Lan Huan was observing the physician's face carefully  –  the old man was frowning even deeper now. He asked just a few questions and let him get dressed.

- I regret to say this, Master, but those scars will not go away. I see the pain is gone, and your muscles are healing nicely. But the skin will never be repaired. No matter what ointments we try –  if your core has not cured this by now, it cannot be done.  –  he shook his head.

- So... you mean...

Lan Xichen's face was dark and his voice was low and menacing  –  so much so that Jiang Wanyin turned in the bed to look at them. His eyes were pinned to the awful traces of burnt flesh all over the left side of his torso where the flames had licked his delicate skin. 

He felt that he was choking for air.

- I am sorry. The scars will stay like this for the rest of your life, Master.  –  he doctor said sadly.