[曦澄 | XiCheng]: The Fear Of Falling In Love [~PART 1~]

[7.] Let me into your garden.

He was gaping, dazed, as Lan Xichen helped him up, and helped him get dressed, and then took his hand and brought him to a bench in the garden, seating him in the mild midday sunshine, and ordering breakfast.

The housekeeper was too happy to see her Masters up and about again, and she brought a lot of food and tea for an improvised picnic. As news travelled very fast, Lan Xichen could actually hear and sense the Lan disciples, hiding in the bushes around them, too curious to see the Masters together, and holding hands.

He huffed:

- Bring some wine for your Master. And make sure we have some privacy today – I suggest you take a broom and swipe those bushes over there!

She raised an eyebrow – it was a long time since Zewu-Jun made a joke of any kind, and now, as they both stared at the spot – the bushes moved аnd murmured nervously, and whispering voices could be heard to move away from the garden.

She bowed and left them.

The garden was suddenly so quiet.

They were alone, and now suddenly embarrassed.

- How are you feeling? – the taller man turned to Sandu Shengshou and asked carefully. – The wound has closed now, but I guess it will hurt for a month or so. I am sorry.

- Why are you so nice to me? – Jiang Cheng was frowning.

There was a silence, in which Lan Xichen filled up a plate for him, and gave it to him with a smile.

- I realized that I have been unfair to you. This marriage is not your doing, and not your fault. I think I needed someone to be angry with... - he said, lowering his eyes, slightly ashamed.

- This is not what I was asking about, and you know it. - Jiang Cheng blushed and looked away.

- I do. – he said simply, sipping on his tea.

- You can't possibly know  and still want me to stay. I cannot expect it. I do not believe it. - Sandu Shengshou said defiantly. – My family knows about... this... But I was hoping you would never have to see me... naked.  –  he stuttered in pain.  –  It is a political union, not a real marriage,  we all know it.

- Hmmm. – Lan Huan stood up and looked down at him. – Must it be?

Jiang Cheng was gaping. It was as if he was looking at a different person. He mumbled:

- You have to explain, because I don't understand. I really don't.

- Let's eat. You need your strength. We can talk about it later. – Lan Xichen smiled.

Amazed, Jiang Cheng was watching him eat, placing some food on his plate from time to time, urging him to feed, to have some wine, smiling all the time. He was taking small bits and pieces, secretly looking at his husband's face – there was a new glow on it, he looked... happy.

***

His heart was sinking – was it a joke? Some sort of mockery? He knew his body looked awful, it was impossible that anyone would like that, accept that, least of all the proud Master Lan.

He was such a disappointment – everyone had expected for Lan Xichen to marry a woman of stature and fortune, gorgeous – just like he was. Jiang Cheng was biting his lip – he bitterly thought how plain and defective he himself was in comparison to the man he was forced to marry. Zewu-Jun looked like a young god, tall and slender, well-built and strong, beautiful beyond words...

When Lan Huan looked up at his husband and saw him cry, he instinctively leaned in and touched his face.

- What is it? Why... Jiang Wanyin, why are you crying...? Did I do something...? – he asked, worried.

- Why are you so good to me... You shouldn't be... there is no logic to it... - he sobbed, hiding his face in his hands.

- No... Please... - Zewu-Jun got on his knees in front of him, and gently removed his hands, brushing tears away. – You are my husband, and I don't ever want to see you cry again. Do you understand, Jiang Wanyin? – he murmured.

Jiang Cheng was staring, mesmerized, fully aware that this was the closest the two of them had ever been. His face was burning and his lips parted, and he gasped when Lan Huan leaned in closer and whispered:

- Can I kiss you, Sandu Shengshou...? I denied you a kiss at your wedding...

Jiang Cheng was trembling, weak to resist, weak to say a word even, but he nodded slightly, and immediately felt two strong hands on his waist, pulling him in.