[曦澄 | XiCheng]: The Fear Of Falling In Love [~PART 1~]

[68.] Lovers' talk. [continued] [TW]

Jiang Cheng came in closer and leaned his forehead against Zewu-Jun's, whispering in his face:

- Is it connected to sex?

- Yes.

- Will it bring me pleasure?

- Yes...

- Will it bring  you  pleasure...

- Y-yes...

They were both panting now, feeling each other's burning faces, giddy with arousal. Jiang Cheng wrapped his legs around Zewu-Jun's waist tighter, unwilling, unable to leave.

- Huan... I need to ask you something... I have been thinking about it a lot...  -  he murmured weakly.

- Anything, my love...  -  Lan Xichen breathed, hugging him even tighter.

- If I... if...  -  he stuttered as sobs were choking him again.

- I am here, my love... Please, calm down... Wanyin...  -  Zewu-Jun was speaking softly, caressing his cheek and his hair, seeing how upset he was.  –  I thought you'd be happy, little one? Wanyin?

Jiang Cheng shook his head and lifted his eyes to gaze at him sorrowfully.

- Zewu-Jun, if I lost... if I lost our baby... Will you... Will we try again?  Will you try again with me...?

He was very pale, and his eyes were begging. 

It broke Lan Xichen's heart awfully, but he was not surprised. It must have been horrible to grow up the way he did  -  Jiang Cheng doubted everyone's actions all the time; he always felt alone and lonely, everything felt like an attack and he constantly felt the need to defend himself; his life was the constant sensation of losing the ground beneath his feet.

- We will try again. I swear, Sandu Shengshou.  –  Lan Huan's eyes filled with tears too, he knew that he had to comfort him, assure him that all was fine.

- Oh, Huan...  -  Jiang Cheng held him tight, clinging to his body with all his strength.

They were entwined in a tight embrace for the longest time, until finally Zewu-Jun said very quietly, speaking in Jiang Wanyin's hair:

- I must say something too, love. If you really lost our child because of your mother's words, I will kill her with my own two hands. Without remorse, without regret.

Jiang Cheng's breath hitched. Those words meant war between the Clans. He stirred in the embrace and looked at his husband's face, scared.

- You really are going to do this for me? Go to war for me?

- My family is the most important thing for me. Unlike your mother, clearly. –  he grumbled. –  She insulted you in your own home. This already is an act of aggression and reason enough for war. I showed her mercy. Twice. Some other Clan Leaders would have had her executed on the spot.  –  he said darkly.

Jiang Cheng bit his lip. He saw the truth in those words. Most Clan Leaders would have sent assassins, to avoid open conflict between two Clans. But Lan Xichen had too much honor and pride, and would always prefer an open and fair fight.