[曦澄 | XiCheng]: The Fear Of Falling In Love [~PART 1~]

[57.] My brother, Brother-in-law.[continued]

Jiang Cheng frowned, but said nothing. 

After a pause, Hanguang-Jun continued.

- Yes, indeed. I wouldn't know anything about him either, but how could I not, when he almost destroyed my brother?  –   he mumbled, and then fell silent, brooding.  –   Perhaps it would have been better if Zewu-Jun told you this story himself, but I guess it is still too painful. He is too proud and too stupid to admit his own mistakes.

- Well, Hanguang-Jun, not everyone can be as blameless and righteous as you are.  -  Jiang Wanyin mocked, ready to fight.

Lan Wangji just shook his head.

- Please, listen. I am not here to blame my brother. I am here to let you know what kind of person he is. Because you don't know him.  –  he grumbled.

Jiang Wanyin raised his eyebrow, but listened.

- Zewu-Jun was fascinated with Jin Guangyao. He fell so deeply in love that he forgot himself.  And I can bet that it is the same  this time, right?  –   he glared at Jiang Cheng and went on without needing a confirmation; Jiang Wanyin bit his lip.

- For many years I have believed my brother to be just uninterested in the matters of the heart  –   he focused on his education and his career as a Clan Leader, always obedient to our Uncle's instructions. We both were.

But then he met Meng Yao, a boy no one noticed, but who noticed absolutely everything and everyone. And he fell deeply, head over heels; he was the only thing he could talk about  –  he was obsessed; he babbled on and on how smart he was, how deep his thought ran, what incredible vision he had, how amazing he was, how refined, his manners perfect...

- Whenever they met, they would have long conversations, spending hours upon hours together, understanding each other too smoothly, and suddenly Xichen thought he had met the one.  What he had met was a manipulator who was able to play a part with just anyone. Zewu-Jun was never special to him  –  he used his affection for his own political agenda, grappling for the top, but when I told my brother what I could clearly see from aside – he refused to even listen to me. He was ready to defend him till the end...  -   Lan Zhan sighed, remembering.  -  Sounds familiar, right?

- Have you and your husband talked about what happened this summer, Sandu Shengshou? Have you talked about why Lan Xichen looked like a ghost after returning from the battlefield?

Jiang Cheng shook his head; he was starting to remember scenes and pictures from two-three months ago, when Lan Huan came back to the Cloud Recesses looking wanton and exhausted, shunning away from everyone. 

He had only thought that Zewu-Jun hated seeing him...  meeting him...  And they both kept to themselves all the time, but now he remembered the seclusion, the prolonged meditation, the refusal to feed. He had thought it was the aftermath of the war.

But now... His heart was bleeding now to listen to this tale.

- While you were sitting comfortably at home, Sandu Shengshou, Xichen went to join the armies, although he didn't have to, in the hope to die. Upon finding out what his beloved was really like, after finding out all the schemes he had spun, all the murders that stained his hands, he almost went mad. His heart was so badly broken that I was afraid he would never recover; at one point I feared he might take his own life.

Lan Wangji made a pause, and it felt like years passed, years of impossible anguish and pain in Jiang Cheng's heart.

- Did you know, Sandu Shengshou, that it was Lan Huan who had to kill him...? Jin Guangyao, the traitor, the oath-breaker?   –   Lan Wangji sighed, looking pale and exhausted somehow.

Tears were running down Jiang Cheng's cheeks, silent tears he was unable to stop.

- When our Uncle announced your ridiculous wedding, I wasn't sure if this was salvation for him, or rather a final dagger into his heart that would finally kill him... I knew he was angry about it, but then he also didn't care any more what would happen to him, he had given up. I am pretty sure it wasn't too pleasant for you either...

- So I will never understand, for the life of me, Jiang Cheng, how the two of you got to be so close... But what I can tell you now is this - you are his rebound.  He doesn't love you.  You are just his new obsession, a means for him to forget his previous pain. And I fear, Future Clan Leader Jiang, that when you fully realize my words, you will break his heart anew. And I cannot allow that, you see...