[曦澄 | XiCheng]: The Fear Of Falling In Love [~PART 1~]

[11.] Hungry.

By dinner time, exhausted but happy, they finally sat to have a proper meal, letting the housekeeper finally breathe after a day of worrying - the Masters had just locked themselves in the bedroom. She was quite surprised to see them sit very close together, and whisper things to each other, and laugh, and feed each other bits of food.

- Please, prepare a bath for us after dinner. – Lan Xichen told her.

She bowed low, and left them alone.

- So... -  Lan Huan smiled, looking, lost, at his husband chewing – his mouth was too perfect. – What do you want to do after dinner, Sandu Shengshou?

- Umm... I thought we were supposed to take a bath after dinner? Or perhaps I heard you wrong? - Jiang Cheng blushed. The "us"  in the order made him shiver all over.

- We can do anything you want. The bath is just one option. I don't want to make you do anything you don't want to, husband. –  Zewu-Jun said sternly.

- A bath sounds lovely. -  Jiang Wanyin blushed.

- You can disagree with me, you know! –  Lan Xichen exclaimed. – It won't make me like you less!

- I know. -  Jiang Cheng grinned, feeling bold after their day of amazing petting. –  But right now I absolutely agree with you, Zewu-Jun.

- Hmmm.

***

After dinner, the Hánshì  was fragrant with the hot scented water, waiting for them to enjoy. Jiang Cheng stopped in the middle of the room, too shy to disrobe now and suddenly very self-conscious. Lan Xichen turned to him and took his hand, saying:

- I have already seen you naked. Don't be afraid. Probably I should be the one worried...  -  he smiled. – Who knows, you might not like what you see?

His husband just shook his head, mumbling:

- This is absolutely impossible, Zewu-Jun.

- Help me. Undress me, Sandu Shengshou. –  he murmured.

Jiang Wanyin swallowed with difficulty, and his trembling fingers started their work. The pieces of clothing fell to the floor one by one, until just the underpants and boots were left. He kneeled slowly, and took the boots off, one by one. Lan Xichen was breathing heavily, staring down at him – he looked extremely small and fragile somehow, and his heart craved to protect him. It was an instinct he could not fight, and really didn't want to either.

Jiang Cheng was looking up, biting his lips. This was the hard part. His fingertips fearfully pulled the pants down, and now he was kneeling in front of his naked husband, and he looked magnificent, beautiful and graceful beyond words. He sighed deeply, and lowered his eyes.

Lan Huan helped him up and lifted his chin, so that he would face him.

- I could take a bath alone, husband. Just let me know – I will order new water for you. Why are you shivering like that, Jiang Wanyin? –  he asked gently.

- I... It's too much... I have waited for so long... and now everything is happening so quickly... It's too much to take, Zewu-Jun...

- I understand. Another time. – he said calmly, letting go of him and entering the bath.

Sandu Shengshou felt all alone again all too suddenly; all day long he had enjoyed the warmth of another body pressed to him, and now he shivered, somehow feeling the walls closing in on him. 

He approached the bath, hesitating, but kneeled next to it, asking quietly:

- Do you hate me now?

- Why would I? – Lan Xichen tilted his head. – I meant what I said. You will join me whenever you are ready. Why are you so insecure, husband?

- My father ignored me... My mother despised me... My sister pitied me... My brother is the only one who understood, and the one I pushed away because he married a man... My life is full of irony, Zewu-Jun. You were gifted damaged goods, I'm afraid... -  he said sadly.

- I still think you are the hottest thing I have ever seen. – Lan Xichen laughed. – I don't care about your Clan; what they did to you was unfair and humiliating. And I will never forgive them for causing you so much pain. My uncle is perhaps equally guilty for ruining my life, but at least he didn't know about your condition. Your family knew.  They knew, and still they did this to you. Despicable.  –  he hissed.

- Ruining your life... -  Jiang Wanyin murmured. – What does this mean... What does it mean, Zewu-Jun? – he turned his burning face to him, upset, and his eyes were brimming with tears.

- I will be honest. I loved someone else when we got married. – he frowned, unwilling to think about it.

- Loved?  -  Jiang Cheng cried.

- Indeed. It's... all over now. I am no fool, Sandu Shengshou. – he growled. – I know a lost cause when I see one...  And it was... hopeless. Moreover, I think it was you who said it best: I am married now. I belong to my husband. – he said simply. – And there is no one else.

- Do you really mean that?  –  he whispered.

- I do, darling. – Lan Huan smiled.

- Darling...?!  Darling...

Jiang Cheng felt light-headed. He jumped to his feet, removing all his clothes in a great hurry, and getting into the bath, kneeling in it, straddling Lan Xichen's hips.

- Why would you call me that... Why do you give me hope... - he was murmuring, grabbing his shoulders, and looking into his eyes with fear and despair, too upset to think that they were both absolutely naked now.

Lan Xichen wrapped his arms around him and said seriously:

- Everything I say to you is true. Everything I say comes from my heart.

- But I... I...  -  he stammered, confused.

- I think you are beautiful, and kind, and brave. I have left you all alone in this dead house for months, and you still hug me and kiss me... How can I not choose you, husband?  –  he asked gently.