[曦澄 | XiCheng]: The Fear Of Falling In Love [~PART 1~]

[140.] Departing from the south.

It took less than a day to pack all their luggage together, as it wasn't much  –  they didn't need much, just each other. The hard part came when Jiang Cheng had to part with his nephews. More specifically  –  the youngest one. The child could not understand why his  Shūshu  was leaving so soon.

- But we will see each other very soon again, my love.  -  Sandu Shengshou was cooing, holding him tight on his lap  –  he could not lift him any more, his belly was getting too large.

- But why? When?  –  he was weeping and rubbing his eyes with his small fists.

- Well, when the baby is born! You will want to see it, right?  –  there was a bribing smile on his lips.

- Yes! Yes!  –  the child beamed.

- Well then! You will come and visit me, and Zewu-Jun, and you will help us pick the baby's name! Yes?

- Yes, Shūshu!  –  the boy screamed with pleasure.

Wei Wuxian was shaking his head in disbelief. Far too impatient, his brother had always hated  kids. Now he was behaving just like one!  Zewu-Jun had changed him so much, perhaps for the better. 

Miracles never ceased.

- But until then, I need you to behave, and listen to your Papa, and also to Hanguang-Jun. Mmmmm?  -  Sandu Shengshou smiled gently.

- I promise, Shūshu!!!  –  he boy grinned and reached up to kiss his cheek.

- Oh, love!  -  Jiang Wanyin was so touched that he buried his face in the child's warm body, inhaling deeply and thirstily.

- Can I get a kiss too... perhaps?  –  Zewu-Jun's voice thundered somewhere overhead and the boy immediately reached out his hands to be held by his other uncle too.

Lan Xichen gladly obliged, and took him up, letting him kiss him and giggle.

- And what about me...  -  Jiang Cheng mumbled, unhappy that his kisses were all gone now.

Wei Ying got the hint and took his son away from the room, leaving them alone, huffing.

- Be ready to leave tomorrow morning, Wei Qianbei  –  Zewu-Jun called after him before closing the door.

- Mmmm.  –  Wei Wuxian knew that the hard part was not the preparations, but rather saying goodbye to Lan Zhan.

***

- How are you today, Wanyin, my dearest?  –  he leaned in and kissed his husband's lips gently.

- Is everything ready, Huan? I can't wait to be back home... We both can't.  –  he smiled and rested his palms on his warm belly.  –  We are fine... You are here, beloved, so we are great...  -  he murmured softly.

Lan Huan kneeled in front of him so that they could face each other better, and put his palms over his husband's hands on the baby bump.

- The carriage is ready. I will travel on horseback, I think your brother too. It will be quieter for you this time  –  without the nannies and the children... You could rest, my love... I know that it's a long way... and I'm so sorry...

- It's fine... Zewu-Jun, it's fine...  -  Jiang Wanyin wrapped his arms around his neck and drew him nearer.  –  I am not a child any more... And I am not some fragile woman, either.  –  he frowned.

- I know... Love, I know... I just... worry.  –  Lan Huan whispered.

- It will be fine...  -  Jiang Cheng murmured dreamily.  –  You will be there with me this time...

***

- You are leaving me... again, Wei Ying.

Jiang Cheng had never before heard such sadness in Hanguang-Jun's voice. He was holding his brother in his arms so tight that he was sure Wei Wuxian's chest hurt right now.

- It must be done, my heart... I will be back before you know it. I will be riding back to you and the children without stopping, I swear it... Lan Zhan...  -  Wei Ying was murmuring.

- Be safe, Wei Ying. I don't know what I'll do if something happens... to you.  –  Lan Wangji leaned in and kissed his lips, totally uncaring who was watching, or listening.

Their embrace was so tight that Jiang Cheng thought their clothes would start ripping from the sheer pressure very soon, but no. They let go of each other soon, and after kissing his sons goodbye, Wei Wuxian mounted his horse and they left.


***


The further north they went, the colder it was getting. 

In his heart, Jiang Wanyin was starting to regret leaving. He was used to the warmer climate in Yunmeng, and moving to Gusu and its harsh winter was not a source of happiness for him. But at the Cloud Recesses the servants always made sure that his room was warm, and his husband was keeping him warm any time possible, so he was not complaining. Now, at the Yùlán  Estate, he had gotten used to the mild weather again, reminding him of home too much. 

But now they were travelling towards the heart of winter, and the cold made him cranky and sad.