[曦澄 | XiCheng]: The Fear Of Falling In Love [~PART 1~]

[95.] Meet me beyond Death. [TW]

NOTE:

Trigger Warning

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***

- I will get to him... Even if I have to crawl one thousand years... I will be with him... Even if I have to bleed all along the way... I'm coming, my love...  -  he was murmuring to himself, trying to get to the door on his hands and knees.

- Oh, Gods, enough!  –  Lan Wangji mumbled, rolling his eyes, as he lifted him up again.

Jiang Cheng's eyes managed to focus again, and he bit his lip  –  he realized that it had actually been Hanguang-Jun who had carried him that night, it was him he was hugging, and it was his robe he was hiding his face into. 

Hopeless and shivering, he let himself be carried on, and soon the cold winter air outside cleared his head a little. They walked past the Hánshì ,  and to his terror he saw that almost all of it was burnt down.

Zewu-Jun was lying in one of the guest rooms, and the housekeeper was sitting next to him, changing his bandages, and crying. As soon as she saw them, she bowed, sniffing.

- Masters.

Jiang Cheng stirred violently, and with some newly acquired strength he rolled out of Lan Wangji's arms and rushed to the bed, leaning in, watching his husband closely.

- I'm here. I found you. Huan, I'm here... -  he was whispering, caressing the dark hair.

He heard the woman sob and say:

- Thank all the Gods you are safe, Master.  Zewu-Jun will be fine too, the doctor said. It was so scary, Master...  -  she whimpered. -  Sandu Shengshou... -  she approached him a step. – Master, is the baby alright?  –  she asked scared.

- All is fine... All will be fine.  -  Jiang Cheng said huskily.  –  Our son is a fighter. He has survived two deaths now.

He climbed clumsily onto the bed; Lan Xichen's left side was badly burned, so he cuddled into him on the right, whispering words of love and comfort all the time.

- Leave me. Leave us. Please.  –  he said in a raspy voice.

The housekeeper bowed and left, still crying. 

Hanguang-Jun had observed everything very carefully, so now he bowed lightly and left too, frowning.

***

Wei Wuxian came in a little later to bring some soup to his brother. He heard someone speaking, and stopped at the door, lingering there for a few moments, listening.

-  Was this what it felt like, my love? When I was lying in our bed and you were taking care of me, healing me? I am so weak... I am so useless, Zewu-Jun... I am nothing without you... It's you. It's always been you. You are the one who keeps the world together. How am I supposed to go on? What do I do, Huan... I am here, my love... Come back to me... Come back, please...

He was pressing himself to the sleeping body, sobbing quietly. 

Wei Ying entered and left the food next to the bed, and said softly:

- A-Cheng, you have to eat. The baby needs it. You need it. Please.

- I am not hungry.  –  he whispered coarsely.

- You are killing yourself, Jiang Cheng! Why?  –  Wei Wuxian cried desperately.

- You can't understand. Nothing makes sense without him. Why do I go on without him?  -  Jiang Wanyin glared at him.

- This is the stupidest thing you have ever said, A-Cheng!  –  his brother scolded him. –  You need to be strong, both for your child, and for your husband when he wakes up!

- Leave me alone.  -  Jiang Cheng hissed. –  I want to be alone with him.

- Please, eat. Please.  –  Wei Ying said sadly and left the room.