Rosete | REVIEW SHOP [CLOSED]

《Rose》Zephyr

Reviewer: therosepoetk
Written by: AelinAshryver07

Okay, so on a first note, I have to critique your title. Whether you chose it for a name of a character or a mythological figure, in the hopes of either character centrality or symbolism, it works well. I am intrigued by it, and I want to know more about why you made this choice. The cover is amazing - I adore how it captures the essence of a character who has multiple dimensions and versions of himself, and how this is portrayed in the text. As a writer, one of the best powers that you have is to share those different concepts with the reader. By this visual expression, I can see that this is going to be a story of a boy-turning-man who struggles with something intangible within his mental or emotional capabilities, and how another character is going to help him deal with that. While I absolutely love this cover and art style, I need to criticize the blurb. For one, it is not exactly clear on what you are expressing, and the variation of the details presented don’t give off the best vibe either. I feel as though if you change your vocabulary from this metaphoric sense into more concrete, literal terms, it can give the reader more clarity into whether they want to be reading the story or not.
On that note, the opening itself is unique. I don’t really like how you choose to italicize the text, as there is a general rule in writing texts that I advise fellow writers to follow. Bolded text is usually for headings or titles, italics represent the thoughts or internalized dialogue of a certain character, and regular text is used to narrate everything else. By using this format, it makes your story a lot easier and simpler to follow, so I heavily suggest it. Aside from that, I’d also like to note how you narrated that scene itself. As someone who has gone through a fair share of nightmares, night terrors, panic attacks, anxiety attacks, and quite the numerous variations of everything in that list, I’d like to offer more realism to it. Usually, when someone wakes up from a dream that quickly, usually out of fear or shock, they take some time to process their thinking and feelings. Before reaching for a glass of water, make your character sit there for a minute, trying to control their breathing. By adding these little elements of mental health and the actions of what this could entail, it makes your writing more real and more relatable. The plot moves at a steady pace, and your style of description is also simple to follow along with. The grammar and coherence could use some editing and looking over, just a bit, but overall it’s lovely. The emotional appeal is tied closely with the characters, which as I stated earlier, could use more realism. But overall, this was such a fascinating text for me, and I can’t wait to see what else you can conjure up. Keep up the lovely work Aelin!