MCYT/DSMP oneshots/preferences

{ONESHOT} (Sapnap): I'll See You Again My Loved One

Tw: death

Age: 21

Pronouns: none are mentioned

Notes: am i projecting my depression and sadness of losing my best friend onto a character? yes.  is it healthy? probably not.  is it cheaper than therapy? absolutely.  sapnap is about five years older than he is rn in this oneshot

Enjoy, darlings!

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No One's POV
Alone on a cold winter day, in a state he didn't live in, a man kneeled in front of a grave, which was decorated with colorfully painted stones, rosaries, jewelry and other gifts.

He sighed, closing his eyes.  "These days I'm becoming everything that i hate," he whispered.  "My friends have started to notice, they're asking what's wrong, but...  I don't know that I can explain it to them...  How does somebody explain that you're missing someone you lost forever ago?" He spoke, his voice watery as tears spilled from his brown eyes.

He tugged his jacket tighter around him as he waited for a response.  The wind blew through his hair, shaking the trees and bringing a storm closer, and the man nodded.

"I don't understand why I can't get over you...  I guess it's because I've hardly ever known a life without you, but..." He opened his eyes, staring at the granite headstone in front of him.  "I'm trying to move on but I'm always in my head about everything, and it's a place I just can't escape your ghost..."

Water began to drip down from the sky, gently soaking the grass around him and he shook as he received no response to his words.

"Sometimes I wish that I could wish it all away, just so I'd have time to get myself together and carry on, but there are people out there that need me, so I know that I can't just give up..." He continued, running his hand through his hair.  "How did you always move past things so easily?" He whispered, staring hopelessly at the grave.

There was no answer to his question.

"And sometimes- all the time, actually, I wish that I could see you just one more day," the man breathed, hanging his head.  "Mostly on the rainy days, when there's nothing to do, and I just sit there, doing nothing but think about you..." He confessed.

He shook his head, his face hidden behind his hands as he tried desperately to wipe the tears from his rosy cheeks. 

He sat on the dying grass as rain started to pour around him, the wind picking up and blowing dead leaves off of trees around him.  Sobs wracked his body as the fact that his loved was gone hit him harder than ever before.

"You had so much left to do!" He cried.  "We were gonna go so many places! We were gonna do everything together!" He screamed, letting the sound of the wind carry his words away.

As he broke down into a mess of tears and pain, the violent scene around him listened to the words he left unspoken.

I'm a wreck without you here.

I've been a wreck since you've been gone.

I tried to put this all behind me.

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Heyyyy shawty

did i almost cry while writing this and have to stop halfway through this to compose myself? maybe. 

anyways i found a GREAT way to make myself stop crying, and that's by sending a really funny text to one of my friends at like one in the morning about period cramps

on the topic of periods i am so deadass about going on birth control to regulate my period and make it more tolerable and i can't wait for my mother to call me a whore cuz she thinks i just wanna fuck which is just 🤩 yk?

anyways my roller derby team is playing a lower level team soon as well as a team that just started, so i'm pretty excited cuz it means i'll get to jam and therefore flirt with all the spectators which is always a very /j moment, very funny haha tee hee hee moment yk

i feel like sometimes this is less of a oneshot book and more of a diary or a twitter thread bc of all the dumb shit i say in these notes but like...  no one has complained yet so i guess people either ignore these or find them funny? that's kinda cool ig

love you all /p

go to bed it's probably like 2:14 in the morning (not me calling myself out aha)