MCYT/DSMP oneshots/preferences

[PREFERENCE]: Your Relationship As Incorrect Quotes

Tw: none

Notes: i have no idea what this is

Enjoy, darlings?

_________________

Dream:

You: all the letters in my name are actually silent, it's actually pronounced like *gust of wind*

Dream:...  We talking about a poetic breeze or a fart here?

You: depends on your accent

Georgenotfound:

George: just once i'd like to get up in the morning without going through all seven stages of grief first

You: what are the other two?

George: denial 2 and astral projection

Sapnap:

You, in the kitchen at 2:12 AM making a triple decker sandwich: i don't mind hanging out with empaths because whatever emotions i'm experiencing are definitely outside the normal human range, if you wanna know what i'm feeling good fuckin luck

Sapnap: please go to bed

You: waging psychological warfare on empaths by making them experience the emotional equivalent of shrimp colors

Karl Jacobs:

You: *walks into the kitchen*

Karl: *is trying to cut a pizza with a samurai sword*

You: alright i'm gonna skip the "what" and get straight to the "why"

Quackity:

You, on twitter: on our way to Mexico for miyo de cinco

Quackity: Cinco de mayo*

You: Cinco de mind yo fuckin business lil boy

Wilbur Soot:

Wilbur: the cricket crew is like a bunch of Christmas lights

You: what do you mean by that

Wilbur: they all hang together, but half of them don't work and the other half could be brighter

Jack Manifold:

Jack: how do you sleep at night?

You: paranoid, cautious, and with my eyes open

Technoblade:

You, desperately trying to compliment techno: i like your personality

Techno: thanks, it's professionally diagnosed

Tommyinnit:

Tommy: know any good jokes?

You: life.  *laughs hysterically*

Tommy: well i was hoping for a nice knock-knock joke

Tommy: but no

Tommy: i have to call the child psychologist, again

TubboLive_:

Tubbo: is that? could it be? but it is! my last fuck! disappearing over the horizon! be free, old friend, be free...

You: ...

You: i literally just ask you to stop leaving the fridge open

Ranboo:

You: if poison expires, does it become more poisonous, or less poisonous??

Ranboo: i want to sleep

You: ...

Ranboo, rolling over to furiously grab his phone: i wanted to sleep

Purpled:

You: with so many people in the world, every time a microwave counts down to zero, it's counting down to the end of someone's life

Purpled:

Purpled: y'know what maybe I'll put this burrito in the oven instead of the microwave