Sabrina ; The next generation

Sixty-two

That night, I walked into the dining room where mum sat with so many sheets of papers spread out in front of her.

She had her hair in a bun, glasses sitting on her nose and she looked very concentrated, a pen scribbling across the pages.

"Mum?" I asked softly as I stood in the doorway, waiting for a sign that told me it was okay to approach.

Mum glanced up quickly at me, then went back to focusing on work.

"What is it, Sabrina?"

I gulped.

"Can you talk?" I asked, and she sighed, standing up while gathering her things.

"Not right now, darling. I'm rather busy." She said as she made her way past me and out into the foyer, continuing towards dads office.

I sighed, leaning against the doorway and looked into the room. Then Mia appeared across the room, leaving the kitchen with a cup of dry cereal.

"She'll be ready to talk once she's taken all of her emotions out on work." Mia told me as she took a seat at the table, reaching for the book that laid in the middle of it.

"I didn't mean to scare her." I said. "I didn't know about Marco."

Mia threw some cereal into her mouth while gesturing for me to join her at the table, so I did.

"Of course you didn't. None of us did. I don't want think Marco would want his nieces and nephews to know that about him, but when three of mum and dads children, ended up doing drugs, dad had to tell you."

I sighed, leaning back in my chair while looking out of the windows.

"Listen, Sabrina..." Mia sighed. "...we both know you tend to be a little selfish."

"Selfish?" I scoffed. "Name one situation."

Mia sat up straight, eating some more cereal.

"Didn't you make out with James' girlfriend, knowing she was James' girlfriend?"

"That wasn't... she came onto me!" I spoke. "She kissed me!"

"Sabrina—"

I could hear the doubt in her voice and with a scoff, I stood up, my chair being pushed back.

She didn't believe me. She'd rather believe Hannah who had been spreading the lie that I kissed her. Eli was blaming me for the entire drug thing, and yes, I did smoke it but he shouldn't have made me hide it. And Alec... Alec was Alec.

Mum was angry with me and dad was disappointed.

Everyone in my family were against me and I felt like a complete outsider.

I rushed out of the dining room, ran up the stairs and into my bedroom.

I found my phone, dialed Naomi's number and held my phone to my ear

I hadn't even realised I had been holding my breath, before I heard her voice and I finally exhaled.

"What's wrong?"

"I—" I closed my eyes, running a hand over my forehead. "...I don't know... I don't feel like I can— there's no room for me, Omi. They're all—"

"Babe, take a deep breath." Her voice was soft and I stared into my room, taking a deep breath. "Calm down. Is this about the weed?"

"Yeah." I breathed, sinking onto the floor where I sat against the bed, shielded from the door. "Dad's disappointment and I can't stand when he is. Mum is upset with me. Eli blames me and Mia thinks I'm selfish and she doesn't believe me when I say that Hannah was the one to kiss me this summer at my dads shop. I have no one and I can't stand to be here."

"You have me, don't you?"

"Yes, but you're with your grandparents and your brother at a fucking festival. I can't— fuck, I'm doing it again. Mia's right—"

"Sabrina, stop." Naomi let out a quiet laugh. "It's okay. You know you can vent to me whenever. You also have Alec, you know..."

"No." I said quickly.

"Breena, baby... listen to me." She said softly. "He's your brother and I know you two have a tight relationship, but I'm sure he'd be there if you needed it."

I sighed.

"Go talk to him. If you do, I might let you go down on me again tomorrow." She was now whispering and I knew her grandparents and her brother were nearby.

"Fuck. Fine." I groaned and I heard her laugh before I hung up the phone.

I got up, pushed it into my pocket and left my room again.

I walked down the hallway and stopped at Alec's door. I took a deep breath, then knocked before I opened it.

Alec was sitting in his chair by his desk, talking to someone through the headset he was wearing.

He was playing some sort of game.

He turned to look at me, then spoke into the headphones as he saw me and the kind of state I was in.

"Sorry guys. It's my sister. I gotta go."

I watched as he turned everything off and then turned towards me again.

"Are you okay?" He asked while I stepped inside and shut the door behind me.

I shrugged.

"Did you hear I smoked weed?" I asked quietly, and Alec snorted, letting out a small laugh.

"I heard you smoked Eli's weed." He nodded. "It's ironic how he hates me for overdosing when he's doing and selling."

I walked over and sat myself on his bed.

"It's more the fact that I had to find you." I said. "He's angry that you let that happen."

"I didn't exactly—"

"No, I know." I said, nodding. "You didn't mean for that to happen, just like you didn't do the drugs. You were drugged."

Alec didn't answer. He looked at me as if wondering why I was talking to him.

"Am I selfish?" I asked.

"Uh... you're the youngest child. Of course you're selfish." He said and shrugged. "But not all the time. You can be, just like everyone can but you can also be a very selfless person."

I scoffed as I moved back towards the headboard, leaning against it.

"I hate making mum mad." I said. "And I hate when I give dad a reason to be disappointed, but they are mad and disappointed. Mia and Eli hates me and—"

"Woah..." Alec laughed and stood up, making his way over to the bed where he sat down. "Mia and Eli do not hate you."

"Yes they do."

"Why would they hate you?"

I shrugged.

"I basically stole Eli's drugs and Mia thinks I'm this selfish person who kisses people's girlfriends, and yes, I kissed Hannah back, but she's the one who insinuated it."

Alec didn't say anything at first. He moved back to sit next to me against the headboard, and then he sighed.

"They don't—"

"They think they're better than us because they're not adopted." I said. "They—"

"Sabrina, are you even hearing yourself right now?" He asked. "That right there is your own insecurity about being adopted. I don't care that I'm adopted and you shouldn't either. Mum and dad chose us out of many other kids..."

I laughed.

"I don't think that's how it worked." I said. "They were presented a child's profile and they accepted. There weren't any other choices."

Alec let out a small chuckle, and shrugged.

"No one thinks less of us because we're adopted." He assured me. "You need to try and get out of that mindset."