Sabrina ; The next generation

Seventy-one

"Fuck!" I exclaimed and threw the book on the table, startling Naomi slightly. "I can't do it, Omi. I'm gonna fail and I'm not gonna turn into anything in life."

She reached across the table, pulled the book closer to her and opened it. She went through the pages, then closed it and looked up at me.

"You're going to do just fine, baby."

I shook my head, pacing back and forth while cracking my knuckles.

"I'm gonna fail."

"Breena."

"I'm failing." I shook my hands. I was sweating, I was shaking and I felt so anxious about these exams. "They're gonna think I'm a failure. I won't amount to anything. I—"

"Who? Your parents?"

"Yes, my parents. They're both successful business people and I can't even get this shit right. I'm going to fail, Omi. I'll fail them."

Naomi stood up and walked around the table, wrapping her arms around me. She pulled me into her embrace, her arms tight around me. It stopped my shaking and it calmed me down just a little.

"They thought they would get a baby that could make them proud and instead they got me." I whispered.

"Stop talking about yourself like that." Naomi brushed her hand up and down my back. "They know you're trying your best."

I squeezed my eyes shut and I just stayed there, hugging her back, my face hidden against her neck.

"You're gonna do good." Naomi whispered. "We're gonna sit down and we're gonna prepare for the exams together. I'll help you through it. You're gonna do good, Breena."

She pulled back to look at my face and I let out a small chuckle, wiping the tears from my cheeks before pulling my hair back into a messy bun.

"I can't believe I freaked out like that." I breathed, and Naomi smiled. "You're right. I'll do okay,"

Naomi nodded.

"And the most important thing is to pass, not to get top grades."

I nodded and Naomi pulled me closer again, pressing a kiss to my cheek.

"Get your arse in the seat and let's study."

"I need to pee first." I said and Naomi sighed.

"Seriously? Right now."

"Yes. Or my bladder will burst." I said, shooting her an apologetic look. "I promise I'll be quick."

"Alright." She nodded and moved back to her chair, sinking into it, and I hurried out of the study hall and down the corridor where the bathroom was.

I locked myself in and hurried towards the sink, pulling the small plastic bag out of my pocket.

Pouring the white powder onto the sink, I found my card and divided it into one line.

I pressed a finger to one nostril, leaned down and snorted the entire line, feeling it hurt just the right way as it went into my system.

I closed my eyes and rubbed my nose, shaking my head before I let out a breath.

Fuck that felt good.

When I first tried cocaine, I hated it. I didn't realise how good it could feel. I didn't realise the effect of it. How it could calm me down from a situation like the one I just had.

I could get through this study session without panicking, and I could get through my exams too.

I returned to Naomi in the study hall, rubbing my nose against my sleeve as I sat down across from her.

"Do you realise how much I adore you?" I asked, leaning back in my chair while looking at Naomi.

She glanced at me, smiling.

"I'm not doing this for you, Breena. You have to participate in order to learn."

I groaned, throwing my head back and I swear I saw stars for a moment.

"I'm just kidding." I laughed. "Of course I have to participate! I'm so fucking hyped for these exams. I'm going to ace them!"

Naomi looked at me and then let the book she was holding drop to the table with a bang.

"Do you think I'm fucking stupid?" She asked, leaning over the table so she could lower her voice. "I sell drugs, Sabrina. Do you not realise that I can tell you're high off your mind?"

I laughed.

"You couldn't tell the last time though, could you?"

Naomi reached for my tie, pulling on it so that my expression dropped and I was almost pulled right over the table.

"What did you take this time, huh? Some more Oxy? Coke?"

I reached a hand out to grasp at her jaw.

"It's okay, Omi. I'm not stealing from you anymore. It's okay..."

"It's not fucking okay, Sabrina!" She snapped. "I am trying to help you with these exams and you're sitting there, high on fucking coke or something!"

I scoffed and leaned back in my seat once she let go of my tie.

"Well when you say it like that..."

"You said you'd stop. You promised me."

I shrugged, closing my eyes.

"I promise a lot of things, Omi. I promised my dad I'd try and stop smoking. I promised James I wouldn't kiss his girlfriend. Oh, and I promised Adriana that Theodore couldn't hurt her anymore, but look at that... I didn't keep any of those promises, did I?"

"So what? You're feeling sorry for yourself? Is that what it is? Well, listen to this, Sabrina. Loads of people feel sorry for themselves, but loads of people also don't turn to drugs."

She had moved around the table and now stood over me, staring down at me.

She was angry.

"Guess I'm just weak then." I said and she shoved me in the shoulder.

"You don't get to sit there and feel sorry for yourself, do you hear me?" She shoved me again. "Now, we're gonna walk down to your uncles office and we're telling him what's been going on with you."

I stood up quickly, gritting my teeth as I stared at her.

"Tell him and I will—"

"What?" She pressed, stepping closer to me, our chests almost touching. "Are you gonna threaten me? Is that what you're going to do, Sabrina? Threaten me?"

"Fuck you."

"Oh!" She laughed and clapped her hands together. "Look at how fucking big and brave you are, Sabrina. Doing drugs makes you look so cool, don't you think? Threatening me makes you look like such a big person."

I stared at her while she eyed me up and down, then shook her head.

"Drugs makes you a horrible person, Breena. Everyone who takes them, ends up in this really desperate state where they start lashing out at anyone and everyone."

I smirked.

"What kind of drugs are you taking then?"

And she slapped me.

She slapped me right across the face and I stumbled into the table, holding a hand to my cheek.

"You're exactly like your uncle. I can't believe I ever spent even a minute on you."

And she marched off, leaving me feeling absolutely devastated in the study hall.

All on my own.