Sabrina ; The next generation

11

It's been two months, but I'm back.

Sorry it's been so long but I had exams in June and I've been struggling a lot lately.

I overdosed twice this week and I've been in the hospital Monday through Thursday.

But now I'm back with another chapter.

You might want to read the last chapter since it's been so long.

-

Mention of rape

"What do you mean, again?"

I stared at my dad, feeling nothing but betrayal at the fact that he went and confronted Tomas behind my back.

"I mean... that if you hadn't confronted Tomas, he wouldn't have attacked me!" I snapped. "You couldn't just leave it alone, could you?!"

"So it was Tomas?" Mum asked, but dad and I didn't hear her.

"You're my daughter. Of course I couldn't leave it alone! He shouldn't be able to get away with what he did!"

"And what did he do exactly?!" I yelled and sat up. "I consented. He didn't fucking rape me! So stop saying it and stop acting like I'm a fucking rape victim!"

My outburst caused dad to step back, and I relaxed against the bed, staring up at the ceiling, trying not to cry.

"George, maybe you should go outside for a minute. Get some fresh air and let Sabrina calm down." Mum said, and I didn't look, but I heard the door shut as dad left.

"I think I should go too." Naomi said.

"Oh, I'm sure Sabrina doesn't want you to—"

"No, it's alright." Naomi cut off my mum. "She doesn't want me here right now."

Then Naomi stepped forward and placed a hand on my arm.

"I'll call you in a couple of days when you feel better." She said quietly and my mum stepped away to let her have this moment to talk to me. "I love you, Breena."

I didn't answer and I didn't look at her. She left the room and when mum approached the bed again, I rolled onto my side and turned away from her.

"Bree, baby." Mum said and I felt her sit on the edge of the bed. "Your dad shouldn't have gone looking for Tomas without your permission, but you have to understand why he did it."

I shut my eyes and slid my hand under the pillow, hugging it to my face.

"You were unable to consent, Sabrina." Mum said and placed a hand on my arm. "I know how hard it can be so admit to yourself that you were raped. I went through it once, but once you can admit it, you can start working on your trauma and get through it. It will get better. I promise you that."

"There is nothing to admit." I said. "Because I wasn't raped."

I heard my mum sigh.

"What if you had a daughter, and she came home one day to tell you that she slept with someone, but she also tells you that she was drunk or high when it happened. How would you react?"

"I'd kill the person she slept with." I whispered.

"Exactly. Baby, sit up will you?"

I sighed and turned onto my back before sitting up. I pulled my legs up and folded them while running a hand through my hair.

"I was having withdrawals." I said, staring down at the bed I sat on. "I was desperate and I wanted to buy Oxy from him. We shared a joint and then he showed me heroine. Not the kind you inject, but the kind you snort. He told me the effects were better and... he promised me a free first order if I liked it, so I snorted some. He wasn't really high. He had just been smoking some weed and his tolerance was higher. He then told me that he couldn't give me a free order. I had to pay, so I gave him the money I stole from Naomi. But then he said that wasn't enough. I didn't have anymore money so he said I could pay him with sex, and I agreed because I wanted the drugs."

I shut my eyes.

"But I could barely even walk. I was that high. He carried me to the bed while I was laughing. I found everything funny. I couldn't think straight."

When I looked at mum, she nodded but didn't say anything. Her hand still rested on my arm.

"But I consented."

"Being lured into saying yes in exchange for something your were addicted to, isn't the same as consenting, and in your state, you weren't able to anyway."

"I know." I mumbled, running a few fingers over the material of the duvet.

"You do? That's good." Mum nodded. "Now we can get you the help you need."

I shook my head.

"I don't need help. I'm alright. I just need dad to mind his own fucking business and—"

"Sabrina." Mum cut me off, her voice sharp. "Don't talk about your dad like that. He didn't purposely make it worse for you. You have no idea what it's like, watching your daughter go through what you yourself went through once. Your dad was there when it was me, and now he's here, watching it happen to his youngest daughter as well. It makes us crazy because we don't know how to help you. You act like you can handle everything on your own, but you can't, Sabrina. No one can."

"He still went and—"

"He went and threatened that boy which I tried to stop him from, but imagine it, baby. We're both feeling very much helpless and we handle it differently. Your dad handles it by acting on it. He confronted Tomas because he loves you and he thought it would scare him to stay away from you."

"But it didn't."

"No." Mum shook her head. "It didn't, so we'll have to try something else. If you decide to press charges—"

"No way." I cut her off and looked at her. "There is no way in hell I'm doing that."

Mum didn't say anything. She looked at me and then nodded, removing her hand from my arm.

"Okay. It's up to you. I'm not going to pressure you into doing anything you're not comfortable with." She said and stood up before leaning down, pressing a kiss to my forehead while her hand held my chin. "I'm going to talk to your father. I'll try and calm him down, yeah?"

I nodded.

"And then maybe you should text or call Naomi. Tell her to come back. I know she loves you and you love her. You need her."

"No I don't." I muttered, looking away. "She's better off without me."

"Sabrina Magdalena Weasley..." mum sighed. "...I do not want to hear you talk about yourself like that. She likes you for a reason, yeah? I see it when she looks at you. She loves you, and love like that is amazing. She's not going anywhere. Especially not while you're going through all of this."

I stared up at my mum, tensing my jaw.

"Going through what? Yeah, sure I was raped, but I'm okay with that. It doesn't hurt me."

What I said was a lie, but for some reason I wanted to spite my mother.

She stared back at me for a moment and then turned around, walking out of the hospital room.