Speechless | Spencer Reid FanFiction ✔️

Chapter 36: Taking Care*

       I've stopped dead in my tracks, frozen where I had been standing. Harrison bridges the gap between us and engulfs me in a big hug before I can find my voice to protest. He hugs me and says "it's so good to see you, it's been so long!" I still don't have much to say and just muster out a weak "uh huh." Spencer has caught on to what's happening, thankfully, and gently tugs me towards him protectively. Spencer tells Harrison "sorry she isn't feeling well, so we are heading out." Harrison looks disappointed and says "oh okay. Feel better. I guess I'll see you around?" He says it only to me, staring into my soul as he does it.
       I don't say anything and Spencer turns us around, partially supporting my weight as he holds me against his side with an arm looped around my back. As soon as we get outside and I find my footing I take what feels like my first breath in days as I follow Spencer's lead out the door and to the parking lot. As soon as we make it out of sight of the front doors Spencer finds a bench and has me sit down. He kneels in front of me and takes my hands. He asks "are you okay?" I take shaky breaths and shake my head no. He nods in understanding. "Your pulse is racing, let's get you home." I nod. I lean on him as we walk to the car and I get in and buckled just fine on my own. I lean my head on the window and close my eyes.
     Spencer continually and quietly repeats sweet nothings of comfort while quickly driving home. As we make our way up the driveway I turn to Spencer "my parents don't know what happened. Just tell them I'm sick." Spencer nods and follows me as I walk up to the house on my own, just wanting to be in a safe space. He catches up to me, placing a hand on my lower back. I flinch, not expecting it, and quickly swat his hand away. I realize what I've done and turn with wide, apologetic eyes. "I'm so sorry, Spencer, I didn't mean to do that," I say quickly. He shakes his head. "No, it's okay, I shouldn't have done that."
My parents aren't anywhere to be found, thankfully, as we quietly make our way back to my childhood room. Spencer shuts the door quietly behind me as I turn to change clothes. I feel conflicted and stop in my tracks. Spencer notices. "What is it, Annie?" I gulp and say "I feel very vulnerable right now. I don't want you to see me naked or even half naked even though you've seen more of me than anybody else has." Spencer says "okay, I'll step out, I understand." I quickly say "no wait, don't go. I don't want to be alone either. I don't want anybody else but you."
Spencer nods softly. "Do...Do you want me to turn around?" He asks tentatively. I nod quickly and turn myself to quickly change into fuzzy socks, my softest pair of sweat pants and my favorite sleep sweatshirt that's overly stretched out with stains so old I don't even know what they are. I tell Spencer "okay, you can turn around now." He does slowly. I take my contacts out at the vanity, put my glasses on, and put my hair in a messy bun. I turn to Spencer who isn't moving. "You can change, Spencer, I'll turn if you want me to like you did." Spencer shakes his head and says "that's not it. It's just...all my life I've done what I can to solve problems. This isn't one I can solve. It took everything in me to not knock him out or shoot him right then and there as soon as you said his name and confirmed my fears. I can't do anything to help you besides be here, but I don't know what else I can do. Tell me what I can do to help, Annie."
I bite my cheek and nod. I look up at him and say "just change into comfy clothes and lay in bed with me. That's the safest I feel every day, wrapped up in your arms." Spencer nods and finally moves to change clothes. I hop in bed and snuggle up under the covers. I surf Netflix and find a comfort show to put on the tv. Spencer chuckles "you always have to have the tv on to sleep." I nod my head. "I wish I could sleep any time or anywhere like you can on cases, but I can't." Spencer scoffs "I can't sleep any time or any where on cases. I sleep the best with you. A lot of times on cases I sleep alone in a room by myself and have nightmares." I turn and look at him. "Why didn't you ever tell me this, Spence?"
He shrugs. "I never have nightmares with you. You're my own personal dream catcher." I smile at the sentiment. "I have less nightmares with you, Spence, but I think mine sneak up on me. Hopefully with therapy mine will go away." Spencer nods "so you want to go back to therapy?" I smile. "I never stopped going, Spencer. It took me a while to find one in DC, but he works for the hospital and I find time to go before or after my shifts usually." Spencer nods "how did I not know this?" I chuckle "well I don't like broadcasting it. People treat me like I'm not messed up enough to go to therapy, even though there's no such thing, and I don't want to have to tell them how messed up I really am. So, I work through things with my therapist and on my own time. And now with you." Spencer hums in acknowledgment.
"Do you want to talk about it now?" Spencer says carefully as he gently runs his fingertips up and down my arm from behind me. I shake my head. "No, I want to forget I ever saw him. I also want to forget my childhood bullies confronted me like they did. You see now why I left?" Spencer chuckles and I feel him nod behind me. "That was really hot. Seeing you stand up to them." I chuckle "yeah it was something I always wanted to do, but if I did that in high school I would still have to see them every day in classes. It was easier to just grin and bear it and then get away when I could." Spencer nods "I understand. Graduating from high school at 12 didn't help much in the bullying area. There was less bullying when I went to college, but I was still a 12 year old in college."
       I turn to look at him briefly before saying "I couldn't imagine doing that. You are stronger than I was, bubs." Spencer hums. "The jury is out on that," he says through a small laugh. I start to settle in a bit more and slowly feel my eyelids become heavier and heavier.  Spencer is humming a lullaby of sorts. I say with my eyes still closed "I know what you're doing." He laughs once and shushes me "just get some sleep, Annie, you'll feel better." It doesn't take much convincing from Spencer for me to let sleep envelop me as I let my mind rest from the stressful day.