Speechless | Spencer Reid FanFiction ✔️

Chapter 50: St. Patrick's Day*

       The morning of our makeup trip to nyc for our make up valentines trip I'm up and at 'em, finishing up packing for both Spencer and myself. We opted to drive instead of fly because by the time we got to the airport and waited for our flight and boarded and took off and then got off the flight we could've just driven there in more comfortable conditions for both of us. I'm wearing my brooks tennis shoes and an athleisure set from lululemon - sorry not sorry I love their clothes because they're very comfy and I feel confident in them - and Spencer is wearing black sweatpants and a t shirt with a quarter zip and converse.
        We are dropping Ryder off at the pet lodge on our way out of town so he's watching us walk around the apartment confused but with a wagging tail. Poor thing has no idea we are about to leave him for a few days. Today is Wednesday the 16th and we are leaving and won't be back until the 19th. I've just finished packing up our toiletries in our suitcases and zipped them up. I yell to Spence in the kitchen "suitcases are packed and ready!" I start to make the bed so we will come home to a made bed on Saturday and it makes me feel like I have my life together just a little bit. Spencer walks in and helps me finish making the bed and then we both grab our suitcases and Ryder and head out the door. I feel like I'm tricking Ryder and I think Spencer senses this.
         He gives me a soft look while still driving to the pet lodge and tells me sweetly "Annie, it's just a few days. He will be fine and he will have a great time with the other dogs and get a lot of energy out." I nod and tell him "I know, Spence, it's just so hard. I've had him for nearly 10 years and I rarely go more than a day or two without seeing him. I love him more than most of my not immediate relatives." Spencer asks "do you love him more than you love me?" My jaw drops and I look at Spencer and say "don't make me answer that." Spencer chuckles and says "sorry sorry I should've known not to come between you and Ryder."
        I groan and say "I love you both just in different ways. I had Ryder first." Spencer chuckles and says "so it's first come first serve?" I shake my head and say "he says less stupid stuff and listens better than you do." Spencer's eyes grow wide and he responds with "that's because he doesn't talk!" I nod, loving on Ryder in my lap some more "exactly, he's the perfect male companion." Spencer rolls his eyes and says "perfect male companion until you want an orgasm," under his breath. I gasp in shock and hit him on the arm "rude! And I can do that just fine by myself." Spencer scoffs "okay, sure." I scoff and say "I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that so that you and I can still have a nice valentines vacation and have sex instead of the silent treatment, sound good?" Spencer gives an apologetic smile and nods "deal." 
       We drop Ryder off at the pet lodge with his stuff, like his food and toys and his favorite blanket from home so he will feel loved and comforted. I hold on tight to him until the last possible second and give him lots of kisses before I hand him to the nice girl who works there and leave with Spencer. Spencer rubs my thigh comfortingly while he drives. It's just a little after 8 am now so he pulls into a drive through for us to get breakfast at the next most convenient place. It ends up being a Starbucks and I opt for a skinny caramel macchiato and a Diet Coke in addition to a turkey bacon, cheddar, and egg white sandwich. Spencer opts for a black coffee with 8 sugars and a bacon, Gouda, and egg sandwich.
         We eat as Spencer drives towards Philadelphia on I95, listening to music and sitting in silence for a bit while we eat. The drive is fairly uneventful, thank the lord. Our plan is to park the car at the hotel Rossi has set up for us and then not use it again until we have to leave the city. I turn on Taylor Swift and give Spencer his own concert of Fearless (Taylor's Version) and Red (Taylor's Version). There are some songs where I'm actually trying to sing songs and sound good like "Fifteen," "Mr. Perfectly Fine," "Better Man," and "I Bet You Think About Me." Then there are others where I try to scream sing as loud as I can like "All Too Well (the 10 minute version)" and "The Way I Loved You."
I think Spencer is the most confused by the last song. He asks me "I don't understand - why is she unhappy in this relationship if it sounds like it's a lot better than the one she was in before?" I shrug and say "sometimes girls just crave dramatics and don't want a safe kind of love." Spencer turns to me with a face contorted with confusion and says "what does that mean? Should I be worried you're going to leave me because this is a 'safe kind of love?'" I giggle and shake my head "Spence, our love isn't a safe kind of love because you are an FBI agent and you're dangerous and sexy." Spencer laughs "I've never been called dangerous and sexy in my entire life." I smile and lean towards him, kissing him on the cheek, then I say "you are to me." He blushes a bit and smiles "thanks, baby."
Eventually I get tired of Taylor Swift and move on to some of my favorite songs from musicals, Disney and Broadway. When I'm singing "She Used to Be Mine" from the musical Waitress Spencer kind of looks at me in awe. I start to feel self conscious, worried I was being too loud or obnoxious. Spencer pauses the music and says "I knew you could sing but I don't think I've ever heard you sing like that. Why on earth are you not a singer on a stage every night?" I shrug and tell him "growing up I was forced to sing this or that and I didn't always enjoy it. When I sang the pop music I loved, even this song is considered pop music, I was berated for it because it wasn't opera or classical. So instead I sing in private in my own time for stress relief and I try to help others regain their voices in part in my career as a speech therapist. I'm very happy in what I do and I do it to help others."
Spencer tells me "if money wasn't an obstacle or anything like that, would you drop everything now and pursue a career as a performer?" I laugh quickly and say "God no. I'm very happy with my life right now. I feel very fulfilled. I love singing but I'm constantly afraid I'll be made fun of for my singing. I tend to keep it to myself for the most part. The most I would do is a karaoke night or like a community theater performance. Nothing crazy like American Idol or Broadway, just something fun and for me." Spencer nods "well if you want to sing, whether it be in the shower or on a stage somewhere you have my full support. Why don't you sing around me more often?"
I laugh nervously and say "well my family always said I was loud and obnoxious growing up so I tend to sing in private when I can just to avoid that anxiety." Spencer gives me a sad look and says "I never don't want to hear you sing. It's beautiful and I love it. Please continue." I giggle shyly and nod, continuing singing through my musical playlist. Spencer smiles at me the whole time and I've never felt more seen and heard and loved in my life. This is my person, I've found him and I'm never going to let him go.