Speechless | Spencer Reid FanFiction ✔️

Chapter 48: Say Yes to the Dress

       After I finally started feeling better from having flep (TM) for a few days, Spencer started displaying similar symptoms. By Wednesday of the next week we were making another trip to the same urgent care clinic. I was pretty much fully recovered at this point, still just a bit tired and achey. Spencer, however, appeared to be on the verge of death. We were recognized by Dr. Mercer and her nurse, as well as the lady at the front desk who scowled at us. I don't know if she just didn't like us laughing or if she just despises happiness in general?
        We went through the same motions for Spencer, the strep test and the flu test, both came back positive, and the subsequent steroid shot. We get in the car to go pick up Spencer's prescription at the pharmacy and I'm driving us because Spencer is too ill to drive like I was when I was sick. I tell him while we are stopped at a red light "you know, it occurred to me today that I didn't know if you were scared of needles or not when I was thinking about you having to get a shot. But with the whole anthrax and shot in the leg thing I figured you weren't." Spencer scoffs and says "come on Annie of course I'm not scared of needles. You know that." I raise an eyebrow at him while keeping my eyes on the road, asking a silent question of what he was talking about.
       He scoffs and says "it's kind of hard to be scared of needles when you're addicted to dilaudid." I say nothing, but my mouth forms an "o" shape at the realization. Spencer gets upset and says through a strained voice "I wish it was that easy for me to forget about it." I take a deep breath and pull over at the next possible chance so we can have this conversation seriously and safely. I turn to Spencer once we are safely parked and out of the way of traffic and say "Spencer I didn't know you when you were still using. I forget that was a part of your life sometimes because I only know the happy, sweet, funny, smart, kinky Spencer Reid. I didn't know you during that really rough time. I wish I did so I could have helped."
       Spencer shakes his head and says "I'm glad you didn't. You probably would have left me." I turn to Spencer and say "if you were only ever grouchy and mean to me I might would have left because I wouldn't have gotten to know you. If I only ever got to know grouchy you then maybe, but I truly do not think it is possible for you to be an angry hateful person forever. That's not who you are. Drugs can change a person's behavior, so it was the drugs and it wasn't you. I fully know that in my heart, Spence." I pause for a beat and then ask "Are you craving it right now?"
        Spencer doesn't make eye contact with me, he just says "I just don't want to feel all of this. The body aches and the pain. I can't have normal pain killers like the cough syrup because there's codeine in it so I can't even take that. I even have to be careful with taking ibuprofen." He's silent for a minute, still not looking at me. He tells me after he thinks about what to say for a good minute "I-I...I just w-wish th-that he n-never s-stuck that n-needle in my a-arm." Spencer is sobbing through that sentence and I gently pull him in to cry on my shoulder. I soothe him in hushed sounds telling him it's okay and that I'm right here. I tell him "I know that you never would have willingly or knowingly stuck that needle in your arm the first time Spence. This wasn't a choice for you, not even the first time. It's the worst thing ever and I wish I could take this pain and suffering because you are the last person in the entire world who deserves it."
        Spencer's sobs start to slow to quiet sniffles after a little bit. I look at him and ask "are you okay if I get back to driving? We can hang out for a minute here if you want." Spencer shakes his head "I just want to get back in bed." I nod "I know how that feels." Spencer sighs after we get a mile or two down the road. He asks me "how do you always know when I'm craving it?" I just shrug "I guess I have to profile you. When you're being a grumpy bear you are either craving or you don't feel good or you're hungry. So kinda like a toddler but with added obstacles." Spencer chuckles and shakes his head. I giggle and say "I'm sure I'm not much better when I'm hangry. We have to keep it interesting though, Spence." Spencer nods, seeming a little better as we run the last few errands to get his prescriptions and pick him up something to eat.