Complicated (Reader Avengers Romance)

You're Not My Mother

Your palms were sweating as you walked through the halls of the palace. The guards showed you to a balcony where Odin was waiting for you.
You bowed in respect before approaching him. He was in a slightly less formal armour today. You hoped that meant he was talking to you as the father of your husband and not as a King.

"You wished to see me Allfather."

He leant against the concrete balustrade in front of him, overlooking the training ground beneath him.
"You came to Agard with no hesitation. Why?"

"Loki would never refuse a summons." You leave out the fact he's desperate for his father's approval. "Where he goes, so do I."

"There is more to it than that. Do not deceive me child." His tone is firm but not in a way that's intimidating. Something you appreciated considering your last meeting.

You knew there was a chance someone would figure out the hidden agenda behind you coming, yet you didn't expect it to be him.
Moving to stand beside him, you looked down over the recruits training below. The sounds of swords clashing together reverberated through the air.

"Thanos will not run forever. If I am to defeat him, I need to know how."

"Do your husbands know of your side quest?"

You bit back the laugh threatening to erupt from you. They'd be beyond mad to find out what you were planning.
"Until I know more, I do not see the need to alarm them."

Odin looked over his shoulder at you, a look that looked almost like pride on his face.
"You think like a ruler and yet still live as a mere mortal." He paused before turning to you, giving you his full attention.
"If you was to live here permanently..."

"Nope." You interrupted him, not caring if it was disrespectful. "With all due respect Allfather, my home is on Earth. I simply wish to protect it."

Odin nodded his head, almost impressed at how you well you were handling yourself.
"As you wish. Tonight we feast and celebrate. Tomorrow we will discuss this Thanos."
Just when you thought he was finished, he took your hand in his.
"Thank you Y/N."

"What for?" You asked in confusion.

You weren't prepared for what he was going to say next.
"Loving my son in the way that I never could." You could both hear and almost feel the regret in his voice. While part of you felt sorry for him, for having a child he couldn't bond with. You felt anger at how he'd treated Loki more. The fact that even after thousands of years, Loki was still looking for his approval only fuelled that anger.

"It's easy. Perhaps get to know him and see for yourself." You snap before storming off, not wanting to hear anything else he had to say.

***

"It's quite simple, I do not trust his intentions." Loki snapped at his mother. He'd been on edge since you had been called to see Odin. He knew he was probably overreacting but he couldn't help it, being around his father brought the worst out in him every single time.

Frigga was used to Loki's outbursts, she kept herself calm as she spoke to him.
"You know he would never harm her, especially not now." While Odin would never admit it, she knew he was proud of the changes both you and Bucky had brought to Loki. You'd both made him the man he was always meant to be.

"Ah yes, because he's always been so protective over the Prince's of Asgard." Loki rolled his eyes, walking away from Frigga. "Just because my loves are now classed as royalty, doesn't stop him playing his games."

Neither of them noticed you opening the door, not wanting to intrude. You stayed quiet, watching the situation unfold.

"Your father..."

"He's not my father!" Loki snapped, anger taking over every cell in his body.

Frigga gave him a soft smile, taking a step in his direction.
"Then am I not your mother?"

Loki's heart broke, she was his mother in all ways he thought important. All the ways except the one way he wanted her to be. He couldn't tell anyone that, so instead he lied.
"You're not."

That was your breaking point.
"Loki Laufeyson-Barnes! Enough!" You roared as you walked over to him and Frigga. You gave Frigga a quick curtesy before turning your attention back to Loki.
"I understand that being here is hard for you. I do. But you will not talk to your mother that way!" You were more than angry with him, more angry than you'd been in a long time.

"Darling please." Loki took a step towards you, guilt wracking through him.

"No!" You shout, not letting him come any closer to you. "Now it's your turn to listen! Frigga raised you, loved you, cared for you and defended you time and time again. Just because you don't share the same bloodline, doesn't make her any less your mother!" Your thoughts went to Natasha, how you saw her as your sister even though you weren't blood related. Even Yelena who you hadn't been able to find in years. They were your family, your sisters it didn't matter if they were related by blood or not.
"The Loki I know? The Loki I love? He knows that. So when he wants to come back. He knows where to find me."

You storm out the room, your heart breaking to walk away from him, but you can't be around him when he's acting in that way. You knew coming to Asgard was going to be hard for him, but it didn't excuse the way he'd spoken to Frigga.

You kept walking through the hallways of the castle, taking in just how beautiful everything was. When you found a stone bench, you sat down hanging your head in your hands.
You were in more pain about Loki's comment than anyone realised. There was more to it than you'd let on and it broke your heart into a thousand pieces.

"I see why my sons are so taken with you." Frigga's voice had you raising your head to look at her. She all but floated closer to you.

"I'm so sorry for what Loki said to you."

She came and sat beside you, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.
"You know as well as I do that he says things out of anger."

You scoffed. "That's no excuse. He knows better than that."

"This is not the first tantrum of his I have endured, and I doubt it will be the last." Frigga tried to reassure you, squeezing your hands gently. She was the polar opposite of Odin, full of light and love. Enough to make your anger dissipate slightly.

"You're his mother. I won't let him treat you this way. It will be the last tantrum you have to endure I can tell you that." You would make sure of it, Loki owed her that much.

"This is about more than Loki's words, what's truly hurting you?" She asked caring more about your hurt than her own in that moment.

You sighed, not liking the vulnerability that you felt in that moment.
"I'll never have children of my own." You admitted, biting back the tears, remembering the graduation ceremony at The Red Room. "That choice was taken from me. Adoption is my only choice for that. If he can't love you as a mother, how would he love a child that wasn't his?"

Loki hadn't had the best upbringing, feeling nothing from hate from his adoptive father. You wanted nothing more than a family but if Loki couldn't love Frigga, it there everything you wanted up in the air.

"Have you spoken to them about this?" Frigga asked, wiping away the tears you didn't realised had spilled during your confession.

"How can I?"

She smiled, the kind of smile that only a mother could give.
"Tall to him Y/N. He may surprise you yet."