Complicated (Reader Avengers Romance)

One Year Later

One Year Later

Grief is a funny thing. One moment you think you're fine, that you can manage the pain. The next your screaming at the ones you love to leave you alone. Which is what had led you to leaving. You knew it would hurt Loki and Bucky, the one thing you'd promised to never do. In time you hoped they'd understand. That maybe they would be able to understand why you had left. If they didn't, you would at least know they had each other. Being alone wasn't something new for you.

There had been one focus for you since leaving home. To find the little sister that you'd failed to find years ago. To explain to her what had happened to Natasha. So when you heard rumours of her vendetta against Clint, you used it to your advantage. It was the first time you'd been back in New York since you left just over a year ago. Apart from the odd visit to watch Loki and Bucky from a distance. That was no longer an option.

You found Yelena fighting Clint on the ice rink, her blonde hair whipping around her in the winter breeze.

"She made her choice." Clint tried to reason with Yelena as he gripped onto her arms, stopping her from attacking him with her baton.

Yelena couldn't see past her own anger. "Stop lying!" She cried out, flipping Clint over her back.

Clint was pulling his punches, not hitting back and barely defending himself. That was when you managed to reach them, floating down you let out a whistle that only Yelena and Nat knew about.

Yelena stopped immediately, turning round to face you with tears in her eyes. "Y/N?"

"Little 'Lena." You took a small step towards her. "You're a hard person to find." You half joked with her. Years of looking and it was only her going after Clint, getting lost in her grief that had made her possible to find.

"So are you." Clint mumbled from his spot on the floor. You gave him a glare that told him to shut up.

Yelena looked between the both of you. "Why are you protecting him?" Her voice broke as she began to think you'd betrayed her and Nat by siding with Clint.

You knew you had to make her listen to the truth, to help her understand what had truly happened that day. "It wasn't his fault. I was there too." You fought back the image of Nat dead on the ground, refusing to let the flashbacks consume you.

Yelena sunk to her knees, her usual unmoving facade slipping away as she broke down in front of you. "If I was there I could've stopped it. I could-I could have changed it." Guilt at how she'd stayed away forcing her emotions to flood to the surface.

You sunk to your knees beside her, marvelling in how beautiful she had become since you were children. "No you couldn't 'Lena, no one could've changed her mind." It was something you'd come to realise in your time away. The same way no one could've stopped you from snapping your fingers, no one would've stopped Nat taking the leap off that cliff.

Yelena broke down. You pulled her into your arms. "I'm so sorry." You wept against her, both of you gripping on to each other as you grieved for the sister you had both lost.

"I've missed you." Yelena admitted, showing that buried deep beneath layers of trauma there was still a heart of gold.

"I've missed you too little sister."

***

You'd promised to make contact with Yelena when the time was right, when you felt like you could come back to New York and repair what you'd broke. First you had a few things to do so you headed back to your safe house. However when you came out of the bedroom after changing you found Yelena sat on your sofa.

"Hiiii," she sang out, laughing as you jumped slightly.

"You scared the shit out of me 'Lena."

She shrugged, as if breaking into your house and making herself at home was the most logical thing in the world to do.
"My big sister rolls into town and I can't come say hi?"

You rolled your eyes at her, grabbing you both a bottle of water from the fridge. She gave you a look as if she was disgusted at the drink you'd just provided her with. You ignored the look, kicking your aching feet up on top of the small coffee table.

"How did you find me?"

She placed her hand over her heart, feigning hurt as she smirked at you. "You doubt my skills?" Her Russian accent wasn't as prominent as it once was but it was still painfully obvious where her roots were.

"'Lena." You raised your eyebrows at her.

"Okay fine, I didn't want to wait to see you again. I followed you."

You groaned, knowing that if she had there was a possibility Clint had too. "Great, now I have to move again."

"What exactly are you running from?"

You knew she wasn't going to let you get away with not telling her everything. Reluctantly you got to your feet.
"Okay, if we're doing this I need a drink." You went into the small kitchen area, opening the cupboard, pulling out two shot glasses and a bottle of vodka.

You poured both of you a drink, holding hers out to her as she came to join you. You downed the shot before pouring another and catching her up on absolutely everything. By the time you were finished, you were both feeling the effects of the vodka. Feeling more relaxed than you had in a long time.

"Okay, I still don't get why you ran." Yelena stated from her seat on the sofa.

"After Thanos, I tried my best to be what Bucky and Loki needed, but I couldn't. I was taking my anger out on them and it wasn't fair. I needed space to grieve, and to find your stubborn ass."

"Why couldn't you do that with them? Sounds like they would've done anything for you." She pulled your feet into her lap, passing you the bottle of vodka. Both of you had gotten bored of refilling the glasses about an hour ago.

"I don't know." You shrugged, fighting back the tears threatening to spill. "By the time I went back, ready to try and explain what I'd done to them, they were gone." You admitted, remembering the way your heart shattered when you'd asked Tony what had happened.

"Where did they go?"

"Last I heard they were in Asgard."

The whole alien, other world stuff was still new to Yelena, so she glossed over it fairly quickly.
"And your brother?"

The mention of Tony had you smiling. He was the one person who you kept in contact with, the only one you could trust to not actually attempt to come and find you until you were ready.

"I check in every few weeks. He tells me I'm an idiot. We argue and repeat it all over again a few weeks later." It was almost a routine at this point.

A comfortable silence settled over you as you both take in the information between you. You'd learnt about everything she'd been through and it was a whole different trauma to yours, both of you broken in your own separate ways.

"I can't believe how much I missed."

"Hey," you nudged her. "You're here now."

It was what you both needed, that sense of family that you'd been missing. You had Tony, and he was the best brother you could hope for. Yet he could never understand the pain you were feeling in the way that Yelena could.

You'd fixed one part of your broken heart, maybe one day you'd be strong enough to fix the rest.