Complicated (Reader Avengers Romance)

Vormir

"You must lose that which you love." The words echoed around you as you sat at the top of Vormir. Almost instantly you were beginning to regret the whole going to space thing.

Nat and Clint weren't saying a word, all three of you unsure what to do. The ash floating around in the air began to settle in your hair, the weight of what you were being told rested on your shoulders.

"That which you love right?" You muttered to no one in particular. Trying to think of a loophole around what was happening.

"A sarcastic comment isn't going to help right now Sparrow." Nat snapped back.

You knew what she was thinking, how she was prepared to do whatever it took to bring this stone home. You couldn't lose her, you wouldn't survive it.
"I'm just saying I love to sing, I'd sacrifice that over you!"

Clint stepped between you, holding his hands out to stop you both getting any closer.
"Both of you stop."

You turned around, running your hands through your hair.

"It has to be me." Nat muttered, grabbing your attention.

You took a breath, you had to calmly talk Nat out of this.
"No. Bucky and Loki have each other. It's time they learnt to love each other on their own." The idea of never seeing them again broke your heart.

The thought of never hearing them say I love you, or listening to them bicker over dinner options. You'd miss everything, but Odin said you were destined to defeat Thanos. Perhaps this was what he'd meant.

Nat shot up from where she was sitting, walking over to you. "You really think that would be enough?"

"It has to be. It's the only way I can protect them."

That was what this had all been about, keeping them safe. Sure keeping the world safe should've been top of the priority list, but the only thing that spurred you on was the idea of protecting your husbands.

Clint watched on, knowing there was only one decision he was comfortable with.
"Guess we all know who it's gotta be."

"I guess we do." Nat countered back, pulling you in for a hug. You let her go, waiting for the moment that you could run past them. It was clear they weren't going to let you do what you knew you needed to do.

Clint noticed the resolve on Nat's face as she took his hand in both of hers.
"I'm starting to think we mean different people here Natasha."

That was your opening. As Clint and Nat stared at each other, you ran as fast as your legs would carry you. Ignoring the burning pain in your muscles as tears streamed down your face, the reality of what was about to happen sinking in but not stopping you.

Before you can reach the edge an explosion knocks you side ways. You land with a thud, gripping on to the pulsating pain in your ribs.

Clint threw his bow down, not realising how close to you it had landed. He began his own race to the ledge, Nat hot on his heels as they raced against one another.

You pulled yourself to your feet, picking up one of the trick arrows Clint had dropped, along with his bow. Shooting one off you gave them both the same treatment that Clint had given you. The resulting explosion knocking both of them down at once.

You began running once again, leaping off the ledge with your eyes closed. You knew what this meant and hoped to anything holy that Loki and Bucky understood why you had done this. As you accepted that this was the end, Nat collided with you in the air.

She managed to hook a grappling hook to your suit through the belt loop and shot it up into the cliff. Both of you crashing against the rock as you held on tight to her wrist as she dangled below you.

"You bitch." You cried out, attempting to get a better grip on her. The tears began once again when you realised there was nothing you could do, no way out of this one.

"Let me go." Nat whispered out.

"I can't lose you Nat, I just can't." You wailed, tears blurring your vision.

Nat gave you a smile. "Let me protect you for once." She had never forgiven herself from leaving you behind. For failing both you and Yelena. Hopefully this would make up for it, at least that's what she was hoping. "I love you little Sparrow."

Before you could tell her that you loved her too, she used her feet to push off the cliff. Your grip ripped from her as she fell through the air. You heard the crack as she hit the ground, turning your head away as you felt a part of you die along with her.

A loud crack of thunder in the sky roared out around you, a bright light almost blinding you. You closed your eyes for what felt like a mere second before you heard Clint calling your name.

You shot upright, realising you were both sitting in a shallow pool of water. Clint called your name once more.

"Stop shouting, I'm right here." You snapped, sitting up. Your eyes still stung with the tears you'd shed for Nat. A reminder of what you'd lost.

You lifted your hand out of the water, opening your palm to find an orange stone sitting in the middle. You'd done it, but the cost had been more than you were willing to pay.

You gave the stone to Clint, unable to look at it any longer. Your feelings were barely being held in check. Nat was the closest thing you'd had to a sister, losing her meant losing a part of yourself. The pain was almost too much to bear. You collapsed to the ground, the water below you splashing as it seeped in through your suit.

You barely registered Clint coming to your side, or wrapping you up in his arms. Both of you grieving for the sacrifice that never should have happened.

"She didn't give me a choice Clint." You wept into his chest, gripping onto him as if you were afraid he'd disappear too.

You felt his tears dripping onto your hair, as he wept for his best friend.
"It was her choice Y/N, we have to find a way to live with that."

You didn't know if that was ever going to be an option. Nat and Yelena were what had gotten you through the Red Room, and Yelena was nowhere to be found. Now you'd lost Nat too, you felt like there was a piercing pain in your chest as you struggled to accept she was really gone.

When she made that choice, little did she know that she had taken a part of you with her. A part you'd never get back.